It takes a certain level of humor to genuinely appreciate a good, solid dad joke. These funny jokes are almost always to the point and often corny.
Dads are there for you in so many ways, from training kids how to ride a bike to showing adult folks how to change a tire and all crucial life hacks. It is for these endless reasons that we celebrate father’s Day.
Best Dad Jokes
Dive in and explore!
1. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?
2. I’m afraid of the calendar.
3. Which bear is the most condescending?
4. How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb?
5. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
6. What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
7. I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.
8. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.
9. I don’t trust stairs.
10. What’s brown and sticky?
11. Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?”
12. Two guys walked into a bar.
13. Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner?
14. “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?”
15. Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?
16. “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?”
17. How do you get a country girl’s attention?
18. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
19. Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
20. Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?
21. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
22. What do you call a pudgy psychic?
23. Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?
24. “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?”
25. What did the police officer say to his belly button?
26. When does a joke become a “dad joke?”
27. What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company?
28. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?”
29. My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her.
30. What’s the least spoken language in the world?
31. I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
32. What do you call a hippie’s wife?
33. “What do you call a factory that makes okay products?”
34. I sold our vacuum cleaner.
35. Dear Math,
36. What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?
37. What did the evil chicken lay?
38. Did you hear they arrested the devil?
39. “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?”
40. A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist.
41. Have you heard about the chocolate record player?
42. What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up as a skeleton for Halloween?
43. How do you make holy water?
44. What did the ocean say to the beach?
45. Want to know why nurses like red crayons?
46. What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament?
47. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
48. What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
49. How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
50. What did Tennessee?
51. Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
52. What do you call a dog that can do magic?
53. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
54. Why do dogs float in water?
55. “How does the moon cut his hair?”
56. My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
57. What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
58. What did one wall say to the other?
59. Why do bees have sticky hair?
60. What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer?
61. What did the zero say to the eight?
62. Why do some couples go to the gym?
63. Why do cows wear bells?
64. Where do fruits go on vacation?
65. What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off?
66. I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
67. What’s the most detail-oriented ocean?
68. What do you call a fish with no eye?
69. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
70. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
71. Police arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states.
72. How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?
73. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
74. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
75. Why did the man fall down the well?
76. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
77. Why is grass so dangerous?
78. What does a sprinter eat before a race?
79. Which state has the most streets?
80. A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club.
81. Where do you learn to make a banana split?
82. What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim?
83. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
84. A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.
85. “What has more letters than the alphabet?”
86. What’s the name of a very polite, European body of water?
87. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
88. Dad, did you get a haircut?
89. Why did the coach go to the bank?
90. What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
91. What do you call a poor Santa Claus?
92. Why did the bedding hide their relationship?
93. What do you need to make a small fortune on Wall Street?
94. Where do boats go when they’re sick?
95. I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation.
96. Did you hear the one about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground?
97. I don’t trust those trees.
98. Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.
99. Why should you never mention the number 288?
100. What does “Rockin’ Robin” do when she’s bored?