100 Best Laundry Jokes and Puns

Laundry makes your day so dreadful. We’re here to make your laundry day less stressful and more fun for you.

These laundry jokes and puns will not leave you high and dry like freshly washed clothes hanging on a line. They are so relatable and smart enough to leave you smiling. After all, we need some funny jokes and lines to keep you in the right mood.

Best Laundry Jokes and Puns

Whether you handwash your clothes or prefer to use a washing machine there’s something here for everyone. We have some of the most fashionable puns out there sure to leave you impressed.

Take some time and dive into the best laundry jokes and puns.

 

1. What kind of jokes do laundry like?

Dry Humor

 

2. Our teenage boy just volunteered to do his own laundry for the first time.

I guess he doesn’t want mom to touch his socks.

 

3. Laundry puns are not as bad as everyone thinks they are.

They’ve just been getting bad press.

 

4. What did one sock say to the other sock in the dryer?

“I’ll see you next time around.”

 

5. I created a new gig-economy app for laundry called Laundr.

Unfortunately, the only thing anyone seems to use it for is washer-dryer hookups.

 

6. Did you hear about the nun who used to punt her laundry into the hamper every day?

Last I heard she kicked the habit.

 

7. My friend once found a fifty-dollar bill in his pant’s pocket after laundry.

I became worried that he might get caught for money laundering.

 

8. What would happen if a wolf fell into the washing machine?

He’d become a wash and werewolf.

 

9. Why are racists so good at doing laundry?

They always separate the whites with the colors.

 

10. I ran out of detergent while I was going to do laundry today.

I didn’t let that get me down because I realized that it was the start of a new Era.

 

11. What happened to the leopard that fell in the washing machine?

He came out spotless.

 

12. Laundry makes me feel like a president.

Because I’m washing tons

 

13. A comedian will never be able to tell a dirty laundry joke.

They will just come out clean

 

14. My mother’s sister is quite good at cleaning smelly laundry.

We call her deodor-aunt.

 

15. My wife and I had this huge argument as to whose turn it was to do the laundry.

Finally I threw in the towel.

 

16. Due to turning into laundry detergent, I was unable to go to work today.

What can I say? My hands were Tide.

 

17. In a particular version of a poker game, the players have to put away their laundry loads before playing.

It’s named ‘Texas Fold’ em’.

 

18.  I was holding a bottle of detergent while doing my laundry.

All of a sudden, the bottle exploded and completely drenched my hands. Now my hands are Tide

 

19. Today my 10-year-old daughter referred to the pile of dirty laundry that my wife is doing as.

Mount Wash More.

 

20. I once bet my friend all my laundry that I could make him cry.

There was a lot on the line.

 

21. I try to forget about doing laundry.

So it’s a load off my mind.

 

22. I witnessed my wife trip and drop all the laundry.

She got red with embarassment and said: “Did you see that?”

 

23. Yesterday, my wife injured her back trying to reach for the laundry detergent.

Seeing that, I told her, “no pain, no gain.”

 

24. I accidentally spilled quite a lot of laundry detergent.

Luckily, it all landed in a bucket. I guess I turned the tide.

 

25. What do you call laundry that loves ICP?

A juggaload

 

26. There was a robbery in the laundry room.

Two clothespins held up a pair of pants.

 

27. My brother was doing laundry and forgot to separate my mother’s white dress from his redshirt.

He’s going to get in loads of trouble.

 

28. A comedian will never be able to tell a dirty laundry joke.

Two clothespins held up a pair of pants.

 

29. I needed little help drying clothes after washing them. So I just requested my dad if he could help me hang the laundry.

They will just come out clean.

 

30. My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but then I realized she just wanted to do laundry.

So I folded.

 

31. My brother was washing his suit and not doing a good job.

“laundry isn’t my strong suit when I have to wash my bathing suit.”

 

32. I was doing my laundry today, and the clothes seemed surprised.

So I folded.

 

33. My wife looked me dead in the eyes while doing laundry and told me she’s not a maid.

They really shouldn’t have been, because I’ve worn them before.

 

34. I needed little help drying clothes after washing them. So I just requested my dad if he could help me hang the laundry.

My dad replied, “Why? What did the laundry ever do to you?”

 

35. Do you know what the terms “no mercy” and “dirty laundry” have in common?

No quarters.

 

36. My friend found a peanut in her wet laundry. She said, “Hey, that’s a peanut in the laundry.”

” I just replied with, “well, ain’t that a little nutty?”

 

37. Where do you get quarters for laundry when you are in the hood?

The liquor store!

 

38. Someone I know did his Ph.D. in Washing Machines before heading the Washing Machine’s PR department.

We now call him a Spin Doctor.

 

39. My brother was washing his suit and not doing a good job.

When I told him that, he just replied, “laundry isn’t my strong suit when I have to wash my bathing suit.”

 

40. Did u just stand there while I fell over and dropped all the laundry?

Yes, I watched it all unfold

 

41. I was doing my laundry today, and the clothes seemed surprised.

They really shouldn’t have been, because I’ve worn them before.

 

42. Whenever I get a sock from the laundry without the other sock, I keep this sock in the hopes of finding a partner in the future.

I call these socks lost soles.

 

43. My friend invented the washing machine for banknotes.

When I heard that, I said, “that’s a money-spinner.”

 

44. Back in college, I could barely pay my bills, even having to choose between laundry detergent and a small breakfast snack.

Sometimes it was All or muffin.

 

45. Today, I got offered a job at a prison laundry.

I didn’t go through with it because I don’t want to pick up a dirty habit.

 

46. My sister and I were doing our laundry together. I told her, “Is it not ironic that these dryer sheets get stuck to the clothes?”

She looked at me and told me, “no-no, it’s ionic.”

 

47. Why are Goalkeepers always doing laundry?

They love having clean sheets.

 

48. What’s a laundry machine’s favorite chocolate?

Lindt

 

49. My laundry machine and dishwasher broke down today.

We rushed them to a washpital immediately.

 

50. My friend found a peanut in her wet laundry.

She said, “Hey, that’s a peanut in the laundry.” I just replied with, “well, ain’t that a little nutty?”

 

51. I went to the laundromat yesterday with some money.

I needed some fresh clothes for a change.

 

52. Now that Laundry Folding Machine has been invented.

Theres no used getting married.

 

53. I washed my clothes today, and a couple of pictures of Santa washed up.

Well, I guess I shouldn’t have used my Yule Tide Detergent.

 

54. There was a PI who one day decided to wash the clothes in his bedroom.

When he entered his bedroom and noticed the dirty pillow, he immediately took the case

 

55. Today, I ran out of body wash and soap, and the only thing I could find was some detergent.

Suddenly it Dawn-ed on me.

 

56. I was working, and my clothes were in my dryer. I asked my dad if the dryer was still running.

My dad just said, “the dryer can’t run. It doesn’t have legs.”

 

57. Being rich, one of the worst things that can happen to someone is having all of their secrets revealed.

You don’t want your dirty laundry out there for everyone to see.

 

58. I don’t have washboard abs.

If I did, I’d do my laundry regularly.

 

59. My married life is awesome. I cook for my wife and she does my laundry.

We are maid for each other.

 

60. I almost fell down the stairs yesterday with a bucket of washed laundry in my hand.

My dad seeing that, exclaimed, “that was a clothes one.”

 

61. Instead of using fear of prison to discourage criminals, we should make them do laundry using tide pods.

They would be the real crime detergents.

 

62. Some robbers broke into my house and stole everything except the soaps in the kitchen, laundry room, and bathroom.

The cop told me, “well, they seem to have made a clean getaway.”

 

63. Why aren’t the people eating laundry soap injecting it instead?

Seems like it’d be a little Tidier

 

64. My sister wanted to tell me some laundry puns.

I just told her, “I can’t listen to it. All of it is washed up.”

 

65. My laundry business makes tens of millions a year.

Really helped that I started it across the street from GoldmanSacks

 

66. How do people wash their laundry in Bangkok?

With Thai Pods.

 

67. What would you call it if you almost forgot to wash your laundry?

It’d be a clothes call.

 

68. I like to do my laundry naked so that all my clothes are clean.

Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don’t seem to agree.

 

69. What would a business person call his laundry shop if he was a Star Wars fan?

It’d be ‘Star Wash: Attack Of The Clothes’.

 

70. What did the Viking say when hanging out his laundry?

“Today is a good day to dry.”

 

71. What is the laundry capital of the USA?

It’s Washington DC.

 

72. My mother usually prefers doing laundry during the daytime.

She says that the moon always messes with the tide.

 

73. I’ve always said that life is a lot like doing laundry

There’s a lot less bleeding if you separate the colors from the whites.

 

74. Why wasn’t the washing machine starting?

Because its door wasn’t clothesed.

 

75. What would you call an automatic washing machine that washes nun’s clothing?

Systematic

 

76. My grandpa used to say that dating was like doing laundry.

Never mix the whites with the colors.

 

77. What did the detergent say to the other after an excellent game?

It said, “good scour.”

 

78. What would happen if you found $50 while doing laundry?

It’d be the rags to riches story.

 

79. What would you call a dancing clothes dryer?

A linty-hop

 

80. What would you call a dapper bouncer at the laundromat?

A Deter Gent.

 

81. How did the accident patient get a clean bill of health?

She left her hospital bill in her laundry by mistake.

 

82. How do network routers fix their shaking washing machine?

By load balancing

 

83. Why shouldn’t someone yell loudly in a laundromat?

Washing powders are supposed to be concentrated.

 

84. Have you heard the name of the next book of the Divergent trilogy?

I heard they’re calling it ‘Detergent, a dishsoapian novel’.

 

85. Why was Mr. Miyagi allowed to do his laundry at Cobra Kai dojo?

Because he’s Anti-Kreese.

 

86. What would you call Tide Pods that prevent wars?

Nuclear detergents.

 

87. What would you call it if you went poor and switched your detergent for cheap powder?

It’d be a locust solution.

 

88. Why did the girl at the dry cleaner quit her job?

Because her work was de-pressing. There were so many details to iron out daily.

 

89. My wife and I had this huge argument as to whose turn it was to do the laundry.

Finally I threw in the towel

 

90. Last night my wife and I argued for hours as to whose turn it was to do the laundry.

This went on but eventually I folded.

 

91. Did you hear about the nun who used to punt her laundry into the hamper every day?

Last I heard she kicked the habit.

 

92. How much does the combined laundry of everyone in the White House weigh?

A Washington.

 

93. Whenever I get a sock from the laundry without the other sock, I keep this sock in the hopes of finding a partner in the future.

I call these socks lost soles.

 

94. How much fun is washing your clothes?

Loads

 

95. Asked a girl who works in the local pet grooming parlour out to dinner once.

She couldn’t make it, she was washing her hare.

 

96. What travels along your washing line at 100 miles per hour?

Honda pants.

 

97. Kirk asked Spock what sort of washing powder he uses.

“That’s biological, captain”.

 

98. Took a risk washing my clothes when there was a chance of rain.

I put it all on the line.

 

99. I saw a guy stealing candy machines out of a laundromat and yelled at him, “Why would you do that?!!”

He yelled back, “Jack nickels, son!!”

 

100. The value of French Impressionism.

Is largely determined by Monet Laundering.

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