‘Would you believe a person with a narcissist personality disorder would dare cross boundaries to be an organ donor?’ Did you know narcissist personality disorder is far more complex than mere vanity? The cunning narcissist can wear many masks and do anything to protect their image.
Funny Narcissist Jokes and Puns
Narcissists have a tendency to control and play with the psychology of others. This personality disorder can jeopardize anyone’s well-being. As more awareness is raised on the issue, remember to keep the conversations going.
One way is through light humor to enable a clear understanding of the narcissistic personality.
You may think all our narcissist collection is meant for you: but don’t be selfish and self-centered to share these hysterical narcissism puns and jokes with everyone.
1. Why did the narcissist cross the road?
2. I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
3. How do narcissists save money on their electricity bills?
4. What do you call a narcissist bird of prey?
5. What does the narcissistic cow say?
6. My wife told me I’m a narcissist,
7. Why do narcissists take blurry photos?
8. What‘s the best way to describe a narcissistic fisherman?
9. A woman marries a narcissist
There was a woman who married a man who never thought of anyone other than himself. His favorite thing to do was to complain about his wife to anyone who would hear. One day he went out with a mule and started complaining about his wife to the mule. The mule was so annoyed by his complaining that it beat the man to death.
At the funeral, the rest of the village lined up to speak to the woman. She would nod her head to all the men that spoke to her, and shake her head no to all the women. Afterward, the priest spoke to her. “Why did you shake your head yes to the men and no to the women?”
10. What do you call a narcissistic vampire?
11. My therapist says I’m a delusional narcissist who uses dismissive indignation as a coping mechanism
12. Went to a new optometrist today, but he was way too narcissistic.
13. Have you heard of the new dating site for narcissists?
14. A narcissist is asked what’s something he’s not good at
15. My Doctor told me I was a malignant narcissist
16. My therapist claims I’m a narcissist, but what does he know?
17. A narcissist walks into a bar…
18. I’m a paranoid narcissist…
19. I used to be an arrogant narcissist
20. A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder…
21. Thank you for calling the narcissist hotline.
22. What can you say about a narcissistic man with 2 personalities who’s trying to ask himself out but keeps getting rejected?
23. Everyone says I’m narcissistic
24. Hey Man, don’t let her walk all over you. Be like a narcissist’s manhood,
25. A bipolar patient, dementia patient, and narcissist walk into a club.
26. A vain narcissist had his face disfigured in a horrible accident
A frenemy visited him in the hospital. “I’m sorry to inform you,” he said with glee, “but you’ve simply become the ugliest man I’ve ever seen. Maybe the ugliest in the entire world.” The narcissist started crying, burying his face in his hands. His frenemy, barely suppressing his satisfaction, patted him on the back. “It’s ok. Life never was going to live up to your expectations. I’m sorry.”
27. I can’t stand the people I work with. They’re all narcissistic and have superiority complexes.
28. What’s a narcissist’s favorite operating system?
29. A narcissist walks into a bar…
30. Why was the narcissist tired?
31. I went to a psychologist and he said that I’m a narcissist.
32. My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality
33. I was once diagnosed as a Narcissistic Sociopath
34. I’m a narcissist
35. What did the narcissist say after entering the hospital ER?
36. What do you get when people elect a narcissist as president?
37. How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
38. Why do Narcissists quit competitive High Jumping just when they get good at it?
39. My doctor says I have a narcissistic personality disorder
40. What’s a narcissistic hooker’s favorite state?
41. How does a narcissist change a lightbulb?
42. Is anyone else here able to spell “condescending narcissist” correctly on the first try?
43. I’ve heard people tell me that narcissists don’t make good comedians
44. A plane was going down
45. What’s the difference between a fight club and a narcissist club?
46. It’s a slow night at the bar, when in walks a narcissist, a millionaire, and a corrupt politician.
47. Why is the guy who can suck himself off such a narcissist?
48. I was talking with a narcissist who was only thinking about himself.
49. I don’t understand why everyone keeps calling me a narcissist
50. “Let he who is without sin throw the first stone,” Jesus said.
51. My therapist says I’m narcissistic.
52. What does a narcissistic owl say?
53. My friends always say that I have narcissistic tendencies. I should get mad…
54. What do you call a narcissistic spaceship?
55. I hate narcissists’
56. What do you call a narcissistic tangerine?
57. My Friends all say i’m narcissistic
58. My artist friend is a real narcissist.
59. Why do narcissists like air?
60. My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor…
61. The narcissistic cannibal started to eat his own body but stopped
62. A Joke For The Psychiatry World- What do you call someone who hears voices calling their name all the time?
63. My therapist recommended an anonymous community to me, a narcissist. Said that they gather and discuss their day-to-day accomplishments, annoyances, etc.
64. A political assassin, a cabinet secretary, and a narcissist walk into a bar
65. My ex was just diagnosed as a narcissist
66. You know what the most infuriating thing about narcissists is?
67. I was having a row with my new girlfriend.
68. What do you call a selfish female sibling?
69. A statesman, a humanitarian and a narcissist walk into the White House.
70. Did you hear about the narcissist who called himself Jesus Christ?
71. People tell me I’m a narcissist
72. First (last?) date at a carnival
A man met a girl online, and eventually arranged to meet up at the local carnival, which was in town for the weekend. Upon meeting, the guy asked her what she wanted to do first, to which she said “I want to get weighed”. Naturally, this wasn’t what he expected, but figured what the heck and they went to the giant weigh scale. After that, they rode the ferris wheel next to it. Upon exiting that, he asked her what she wanted to do. Again, she said “I want to get weighed”. Again, he found this a bit perplexing but obliged her and went back to the weigh station. Surprise surprise, the results weren’t any different. So they visited the fun house on the other side of the station next. Upon exiting, he asked her what was next and again she said “I want to get weighed!” He decided this girl had to be too weird or narcissistic for him, so he made an excuse and left the fair. She returned to her apartment alone.
78. long. Two cops lead an unfortunate man into a padded cell
Instantly the men in white coats grab him, wrench his arms behind his back and, when he screams in pain, the psychiatrist tears down his trousers and jags him with a needle. As they’re carrying the unconscious body out, the younger of the cops, shocked, says: “Was that really necessary? He came along gentle as a lamb.” The psychiatrist frowns and replies: “This place is run rationally, with efficiency, everybody gets exactly what they need: the depressives get prozac, the manic depressives get lithium, the schizophrenics get chlorpromazine and the catatonics get ECT.”
79. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is good…
80. Obama was scheduled to visit a Catholic church…
An aide to President Barack Obama visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in Washington. He told the Cardinal that President Barack Obama would be attending the next mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Obama to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Obama a saint.
The Cardinal replied, “No. I don’t really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Obama’s views. Obama’s aide then said, “Look, I’ll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000 to your church if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Obama as a saint.” The Cardinal thought about it and said, “Well, the church can use the money, so I’ll work your request into tomorrow’s sermon.”
As Obama’s aide promised, Obama appeared for the Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Obama was present. The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, “While President Obama’s presence is probably an honor to some, the man is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of his views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and he tends to flip-flop on many other issues. Barack Obama is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit. Barack Obama is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Barack Obama is the worst example of a Christian I have ever personally witnessed. He is a narcissist and is using his speaking ability to lie to the American people. He also has a reputation for shirking his obligations, both In Washington and in Illinois. The man is simply not to be trusted.”
81. Trump pulls out of Paris.
82. Why are all vampires narcissists?
83. I’m not a narcissist.
84. What’s a narcissist’s favorite keyboard shortcut?
85. How do you know if a lightbulb is a prostitute?
86. My doctor said that my narcissistic tendencies cause me to misread social interactions
87. Unlike most people, I’m happy that Trump pulled out of Paris.
88. I used to be a narcissist.
89. So I started therapy today…
90. I’m not narcissistic
91. So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar…
92. How do you spot a narcissist in a grocery store?
93. How do you know your keyboard is narcissistic?
94. What do you call a narcissistic criminal walking down the stairs?
95. I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has a narcissistic personality disorder.
96. Therapy patients are narcissists.
97. I think my grocery store is trying to turn me into a narcissist…
98. What is the perfect profession for narcissists?
99. A narcissist walks into a bar and orders a drink for the handsome gent winking at him from the opposite side of the room.
100. What did the narcissist say to the cannibal?
101. Do you know what the best thing about being a narcissist is?
102. Narcissists are like Russian dolls.
103. You know what the most infuriating thing about narcissists is?
104. What do you call a narcissistic lobster?
105. Why wouldn’t the narcissist buy a yacht?
106. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers right now!
107. TIL that narcissistic behavior tends to peak in mid-September.
108. What do you call a moose that is a narcissist?
109. The other day I came across a picture of myself when I used to look good without my top on…
110. Out of all the narcissists in the world…
111. How do narcissists remember everything?
112. What’s the name of a narcissistic salmon?
113. How do you drown a narcissist?
114. What note do narcissistic pianists use to tune a piano?
115. It’s great having your doctor tell you about your narcissism.
116. A man walks up to another man…
…and in perfect unison, they say to each other, How am I supposed to know if I suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder?
117. Why did the narcissistic cannibal end up in the hospital?
118. You know who’s full of themselves
119. I used to be quite narcissistic…
120. BowHead Whales!
121. So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar…
122. Am I narcissistic? maybe
123. What do you call a narcissistic tsunami?
124. My friends always say that I have narcissistic tendencies. I should get mad…
125. What do you call two narcissistic gay lovers?
126. A knowledgeable quote is one that gives. A narcissistic quote is one that steals.
127. What’s the most narcissistic cheese?
128. My psychologist told me…
129. How did the narcissistic polar bear get so ripped?
130. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is good…
131. My girlfriend said she’s leaving me because of my narcissistic tendencies…
132. What do you tell a narcissistic murderer?
133. Hate speech, obscene photos, and narcissistic viewpoints caused me to get completely off of social media.
134. I don’t understand why people keep calling me self-absorbed and narcissistic
135. Do you remember the name of that narcissistic alien?
136. A was in the middle of a narcissistic rant..
137. Millenials like memes because they’re narcissistic
138. How to win an argument against a stupid narcissistic person?
139. My doctor says I have a narcissistic personality disorder
140. Unlike most people, I’m happy that Trump pulled out of Paris.
141. Did you hear about the narcissistic personal trainer who was sucked into a tornado?
142. My friend Juan is a narcissist. Whenever we order Chinese food...
143. What are those poles for taking your own picture called?
144. My therapist says I’m a delusional narcissist who uses dismissive indignation as a coping mechanism