140+ Funny Toast Jokes and Puns for Foodies

Ever wondered what aliens spread on their toasts? How about what printers eat on their toast? We are sure the answers provided in this post will impress any food lover out there. 

Just like chef jokes that make your cooking fun, our toast jokes will brighten your morning as you enjoy your first meal of the day.

Funny Toast Jokes and Puns for Foodies

Are you hungry for a bunch of healthy French toast? Hope you like it extra cheesy! We propose you take a look at this chunk of hilarious toast jokes and puns foodies say yes to. We are certain the corny, tasty and crazy toast jokes will leave you breadless!


1. A Tibetan monk was making his morning toast when he saw, in the margarine, the face of Jesus. He gasped and said,

“I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.”


2. My army of bugs is crippled. All my soldiers are much too short to be good fighters, and I require more bread to feed them.

I lack toast and taller ants.


3. George raises his beer mug in the air and says, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life having sex with my wife!” The bar is filled with whistles and claps, and the bartender even gives him a ribbon that says, “Best Toast of the Month”.

When George gets home, he shows his wife, Linda, the ribbon. “And what exactly was your award-winning toast?” she asks. George thinks for a while and says, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life going to church with my wife.” The next day when George is at work, Linda is walking down the street when she runs into Ted, one of George’s drinking buddies. “Your husband sure gave an awesome toast last night!” says Ted. “I know!” replies Linda, “and he told me about it! It kind of surprised me because almost every time he goes down there, he falls asleep. A few weeks ago I had to pull him by the ear to get him to come.”.


4. I used to work at a restaurant, but I wasn’t a good cook. I could make some good toast though.

It was my bread and butter.


5. A piece of toast walks into a bar.

The bartender starts chatting with him. “Where are you from? I haven’t met many pieces of toast.” The piece of toast takes a long sip of beer, and says “Well, I was born and bread in New York.”


6. A German boy never uttered a single word growing up.

Then, one day, aged 5, while sitting at breakfast, he looked up from his plate and said in perfect German – ‘The toast is burnt’…to which the family was amazed at. ‘You can speak, that’s amazing, why have you never spoken until now?’ He replied: ‘There was nothing wrong until now’


7. 2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast, and 3 pancakes walk into a bar.

It was my bread and butter.


8. My fetish? I like to have champagne toast and tap glasses together.



9. What did one piece of toast say to the other piece of toast, inside the toaster?

It’s toasty in here!


10. What do you call a Frenchman with eggs and toast on his head?



11. And God said to John: “Come forth and receive eternal life”.

But he came fifth and won a toaster.


12. A toast for tonight!

2023 is hindsight! Happy New Years!


13. Why is French toast called lost bread in French?

Because English stole it


14. I propose a toast?

I hope it says yes


15. What do you call toasted communion bread

Jesus Crust


16. A witch turned me into a piece of toast

But I got butter


17. John O’Reilly makes a toast.

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of my wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.” <br> She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?” John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife.” “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.” She said, “Aye, ” he told me, and I was a bit surprised. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.


18. The bride’s mother makes a toast at a wedding.

The bride’s mother, nearly tearing up, stands up and makes a toast to a new chapter in her daughter’s life. She says, “I see you grow faster everyday, but all I can see is that little kid inside you.” The bride then freaks out and screams “Mom, I can explain everything! How did you even find that out?!”


19. Do you like eggs?

I have them in the morning with my toast. Sometimes sunny side up, sometimes scrambled, sometimes over easy. I think they’re eggsellent.


20. The traveling salesman’s toast.

To all the kisses I’ve snatched …and vice versa.


21. Wife: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas

Me: *sipping toast* why?


22. A pancake, a piece of toast, and a piece of bacon walk into a bar

They sit down and ask the bartender for a round of beers. The bartender looks at them and says “Get the hell out of my bar, we don’t serve breakfast here.”


23. They say the James Webb Telescope is so powerful that it can see back in time

They sit down and ask the bartender for a round of beers. The bartender looks at them and says “Get the hell out of my bar, we don’t serve breakfast here.”


24. An elderly man and his wife are both having problems remembering things.

During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. “Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?” he asks. “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?” “Sure.” “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” she asks. “No, I can remember it.” “Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?” “I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.” “I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?” Irritated, he says “I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I got it, for goodness’ sake!” Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment…. “Where’s my fucking toast?”


25. As I spread my girlfriend’s legs I thought to myself…

This is the strangest thing I’ve ever had on toast.


26. Why doesn’t anybody eat the toast after they see an image of Jesus?

I bet it tastes divine!


27. A guy ate so much toast, he got bored of it.

The next day, he over toast.


28. What is the correct toast to someone drinking their colonoscopy prep?

Bottoms up!


29. How does Bob Marley like his toast?

With Jamm in


30. Two slices of bread got married.

The ceremony was going quite well until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.


31. My kids said they wanted to hear my joke about burnt toast

I told them it was too dark.


32. My wife was in the kitchen wearing only the t-shirt she slept in…

… preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me right now! Right here!” My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!” r>Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterward she said, “Thanks” and returned to the stove, Her T-shirt still around her neck. Happy, but still a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?” She explained, “The egg timer’s broken”


33. Synesthesia Toast Cruch!

The taste you can see!


34. At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures.

I asked the keeper, ‘How did that toast get into the cage?’ ‘It was bread in captivity’ she replied.


35. At a wedding reception, the groom’s grandfather stood up to make his toast. Having been married for 60 years, he wanted to pass on his secret to the newlyweds. The grandfather addressed the happy couple, saying “the tip to a happy and long lasting marriage is to beat your wife up every morning.”

An uncomfortable silence followed. The grandfather continued, “yes, I beat my wife up every morning. I get up around 6:30 and she gets up around 8.”


36. What’s the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.


37. What do you call a zombified piece of toast?

The un-bread


38. How does Darth Vader like his toast…

On the dark side???????? (Told to me by my dad)


39. What do printers eat on their toast?

Paper jam


40. Why shouldn’t you put a toaster in the bathtub?

Because your toast will get soggy.


41. During the reception, a man stands up for his toast and starts speaking cheerfully.

What a lovely couple you two are, just adorable. And so many wonderful wishes from all of your beloved guests. But if I may, I would like to wish something for myself. I wish for the bride to give me a blowjob. The guests are shocked, the room goes silent and the groom, a hulk of a man, stands up crimsoned with anger. The man looks at him and says: – Oh, thank you, but in my toast I specifically said ‘the bride’.


42. Don’t mess with Mother Nature

On the 16th hole of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods. Harry, his partner, had laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods as well, just a few yards beyond. Fred looked for his ball for a long time, getting angrier every minute. Finally, in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups, he found his ball. Instead of just continuing the game, he took his club and thrashed every single buttercup in that patch. Suddenly, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, “I’m Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won’t have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life…..better still; you won’t have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life…..as a matter of fact, you won’t have any butter for anything the rest of your life!” Then POOF! She was gone. After Fred got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, “Harry!… Harry!… where are you?” Harry yells, “I’m over here, in the pussy willows.” Fred screams back: “DON’T SWING!!! FOR GOD’S SAKE!!! DON’T SWING!!!”


43. If you start to smell burning toast you’re having a stroke

Or overcooking your toast


44. Two guys are sitting next to each other in a bar.

“You know,” one says, “I love Guiness. It takes me back to Ireland, where I was raised.” “You’re kidding!” says the second patron. “I was born in Ireland too!” The men toast Ireland, laugh, and keep drinking. The bartender shakes his head. “So where in Ireland are you from?” “Well, I grew up in Dublin.” “Dublin! You’re kidding! I’M from Dublin!!!” and they drink, laugh, and toast some more, all the while with the bartender shaking his head. “So much to remember about Dublin. I myself grew up in the Shankill area…” “WHAT?! You too?! I’m from Shankill! I grew up in a small house off of Corbawn Lane!” “Corbawn Lane?!?! Me too!!!” And the two patrons kept laughing about their childhood and drinking further. The bartender takes a break from the front of the bar and goes into the back room to speak with the owner, who asks, “Is anything interesting happening out there tonight?” “Well, not really. It’s just the O’Malley brothers getting drunk again.”


45. What do aliens spread on their toast?

Space jam


46. Breakfast Foods

I tried the Kentucky Brand jelly on my toast this morning. This stuff is awful, how do you all eat this?


47. Did you hear about the bakery that burned down?

That business is toast now.


48. Two old lawyers who haven’t seen each other in years finally get together to have some lunch.

“Life is good,” one says, but lately I’ve noticed I’ve been getting pretty old. Like, I’ve been having a Freudian slip or two.” “How do you mean?” says the other. “Well for instance, last week I was at the train station and I was headed to Pittsburgh. And when I walked up to the counter there was this beautiful blond woman, and she had HUGE knockers. And as I held out my cash I said ‘Can I have two pickets to Tittsburgh?'” “Oh my,” says the other lawyer, “That is embarrassing. But I know what you mean. The other day I was having breakfast with my wife of 43 years. And instead of saying ‘Honey, can you please pass the toast?’ I said “YOU RUINED MY LIFE!”.


49. I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast any time”

So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

50. My girlfriend asked me what I was good at cooking, I said toast

Cause it’s my bread and butter


51. What do you call someone that hates when he doesn’t have toast



52. Can Cold Water Wash Dishes?

John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast. However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!” For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as he appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?” Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!” Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”. Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted… “COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!”


53. An old joke from my childhood that is sadly relevant again.

Bert and Ernie had worked together as radio hosts for twenty years.** They traded jokes, played pop music and generally made people’s lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work. In one of the breaks they received a Fax. Ernie picked up the page and was in shock. Ernie silently reread the fax message from civil defense. As licensed broadcasters they were legally obligated to alert the public, to tell them the nukes were flying and that in a few minutes, all of the world’s troubles would be over. What was the point of that though? To torture people with the knowledge of something they couldn’t change? Their eyes met and a decision was reached. Bert put on their most requested song, a sugary top 40 tune while Ernie produced a bottle of bourbon from under the desk. As their producer banged on the locked studio door, the colleagues toasted the end of a long career. Bert, always the consummate professional, turned away from the window as the first explosion split the distant horizon. He straightened his tie, tucked in his shirt and brushed his hair back. He would meet his fiery death with dignity. Bert turned to Ernie and said in a quiet, resigned voice, “How do I look, Ernie?” Ernie walked slowly over to his friend. He looked into Bert’s face and saw the closeness they shared, the strength of their relationship, forged over the years. took a deep breath and spoke quietly: “With your eyes, Bert.”


54. A man at a wedding had the urge to tell everyone what he had for breakfast

So he gets up rings his champagne glass a few times until all eyes are on him and says “a toast”


55. I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.

I was making synonym toast


56. My grandpa just walked into my room with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.

I said, “Who is this guy?” Grandpa: This is my hip replacement.


57. What will Trump associates put on their toast this morning?

Subpoena butter


58. What do cannibalistic Dutch rodents put on their toast?

Hamster Jam


59. Why do Irish people only put 239 beans on their toast?

Because one more would be two farty.


60. What do you call toast in a cage?

Bread in captivity.


61. What’s the difference between french and toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast


62. The hawk on the patio

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Hey look at that big hawk out on the patio,” he tells the bartender. “It looks like it’s eating some avocado toast.” “Oh, that bird again,” the bartender sighs. “I think it’s a Millennial Falcon.”


63. A toast to the virgins of the world.

Thanks for nothing.


64. Do you prefer your bagels toasted?

(Raises drink)……..TO BAGELS!!!!!!


65. I went to the zoo the other day

I saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said it was bread in captivity…


66. My best man got up to give a toast at my wedding.

He clinked on his glass to get everyone’s attention, cleared his throat and said “Plethora” Then promptly sat back down. I looked over and said, “Wow, that means a lot”


67. Why is an engineer able to toast bread five different ways but cannot make French toast?

This makes Why’s dad proud.


68. Paddy and the toast of the year

A man named Paddy Murphy was in the pub when the barman announced a ‘toasting competition’. Thinking quickly, Paddy was pretty sure he had a winner. “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife!” he shouted, and sure enough, his naughty toast was judged the best of the night and he drank the rest of the evening for free. In bed that night, he turned to his wife, Mary, and told her, “Now, you won’t believe this, but I won the best toast of the night down at the pub”. “What was your toast?” Mary asked, conscious that her husband wasn’t usually the poetic type, to which Paddy cleverly replied, “I said to the fellas, here’s to spending the rest of me life sitting in church by me wife!” Mary, a fervently religious woman, looked pleased but somewhat confused. “Oh, that’s very nice of you, dear,” she replied. The next day, Mary was in town when she ran into one of Paddy’s drinking buddies, who mischievously asked her, “So, did you hear about your husband winning best toast of the night with a little ditty about you?”. “I sure did,” said Mary, to the man’s amazement. “But I was a bit surprised, to be honest. He’s only been there twice – once he fell asleep and the second time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”


69. Why won’t I go short of toasted sandwiches in hell?

Because Beelzebub has a Breville put aside for me


70. A guy walks into a bar and says “Give me a shot of your finest Whiskey, and pour one for yourself on me!”

The bartender is surprised but pleased, so he pours two shots of the most expensive Scotch in the house. They toast and drink up. After a few moments the man gets up and walks towards the door without paying. The bartender chases after him and says “hey what’s the big idea?! You haven’t paid the bill!” The guy says, “Sorry I haven’t got a cent on me.” So the bartender grabs him by the collar and tosses him out the door and says to not come back. The next night the same guy walks in and the bartender is about to kick him out, but the guy says “Give me two shots of your finest whiskey. I’m really sorry about last night, let me make it up to you. Let’s have another couple shots and be friends again.” The bartender is wary but figures no one would be crazy enough to pull the same stunt twice and gives the guy the benefit of the doubt. He pours and they drink up. But once again the guy gets up to leave without paying. The bartender chases after him again and says “Hey! You owe me for all those drinks!” “Sorry I haven’t got a cent on me.” So the bartender really roughs him up this time and sends him on his way with a black eye and a bloody lip. The next night the same guy shows up again and says “Give me one shot of your finest Whiskey.” “What you’re not buying me a drink too this time?” “Oh no. You get violent when you drink!”


71. Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffe… These events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.

And my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.


72. I’d like to make a toast to Chicken Pot Pie.

Three of my favorite things.


73. What do Sharks have on their toast?



74. A toast to wives, girlfriends, and lovers.



75. What did the toast say when he fell down the stairs?

“Crust Almighty!”


76. On the eve of Joe Biden’s inauguration, prominent members of the previous Democrat administrations have a Zoom call to toast the end of the Trump presidency.

Among other topics, the conversation turns to Amazon and Google’s targeted marketing and the methods they employ. To lighten the mood, Bill Clinton suggests that he and his former vice-president have an impromptu jam session for everyone on saxophone and bongos respectively, something they secretly did at times of stress back in the day. The next morning, while nursing a slight hangover, Barack Obama checks YouTube while he waits for his coffee to brew. To his surprise, given the previous evening’s conversation, his suggestion screen is swamped with saxophone jazz videos. Astonished, he says to Michelle: “How does YouTube know to show me these things?’ She thinks for a second and says: ‘Must be the Al Gore rhythm.’


77. Toast at a Wedding

“May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live.” That’s an Irish toast. “Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup.” That’s a French toast.


78. An Old Couple has Memory Problems

They both continually struggle with short term memory issues, forgetting their keys, glasses and everything else you could possibly imagine! One day they went to the doctors to ask him what they could do. He told them that one of the best things they can do is write everything down. Not only can they look back on their notes to remember, but it helps to solidify it in your brain. That night the couple was at home watching television when the gentleman abruptly got up and announced to his wife, “My dear, I simply must get some ice cream, do you care for any as well?” She replied “Oh yes! Chocolate ice cream with cherries! Maybe you should write it down?” “No no, that’s simple, chocolate ice cream with cherries” “Oh but I also want some whipped topping please. I really think you should write this down…” “It’s simple dear, chocolate ice cream, cherries and whipped topping. I couldn’t possible forget that!” With that he headed off to the kitchen, repeating under his breath “chocolate ice cream, cherries, whipped topping, chocolate ice cream, cherries, whipped topping” He is in the kitchen for 15 minutes, when he finally emerges he is holding a plate with eggs and bacon on it. “I knew you would have written it down! Where’s my toast!?”


79. Why do people toast before drinking?

Because it lifts their spirits.


80. I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toast. It was then I realized…

…I’d accidentally ordered Avogadro’s Toast.


81. I broke into a science lab and made some toast. Eating it made me really sick…

I guess I’m just lab-toast-intolerant


82. An old Georgian toast…

A little bird was flying to her nest through an ice storm. Her wings got wet and heavy eventually she could no longer flap them, exhausted she fell onto a frozen ground after a few tries to fly she gave up and was about to freeze from the cold when a passing cow dropped a cow pie right on top of her. At first, the bird struggled but it was warm and she made it through the night. In the morning it got warmer and some warm crawled up to the cow pie and the little bird had a meal. In fact, she was so happy she survived and so ready for the new day that she started to chirp. A cat was walking by, heard the bird, pounced, and killed it. The moral of this anecdote is that not everyone that gives you shit is your enemy and not everyone that pulls you out of shit is your friend. And finally, if you are sitting there neck deep in the trouble don’t chirp about it to anyone who would listen


83. What does Bruce from Jaws put on his toast?

Buh-tah. Buh-tah. Buh-tah tah-tah


84. Rip gilbert gottfried

There’s a family about to eat breakfast, a mom, a dad, and two little boys. the mom looks at one of the kids and asked him what he would like for breakfast, he said “I would like the fucking french toast”. The mom then started to slap him and the dad took off his belt and started beating him, they sent him to his room crying. the mom looked at the other kid and asked what he would like for breakfast, he said “i sure don’t want the fucking french toast”.


85. I think my brother is making too much french toast

Because he keeps surrendering them to me.


86. A slice of bread stole a lot of money from the sandwich Mafia

So they set his house on fire as he was sleeping. He’s toast now.


87. A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day…

So they set his house on fire as he was sleeping. He’s toast now.


88. Delivering The Best Toast

A contest was held to see who could deliver the best toast. Murphy won the contest for the best toast of the night, which was: “Here’s to the best years of my life, spent between the legs of’ me wife.” When he got home, his wife asked him how the Toastmasters meeting went. “I won the contest for the best toast of the night,” he replied. She then asked what his toast was. He said, “Here’s to the best years o’ me life, spent in church with me wife.” “How sweet of you to include me in your toast,” his wife replied. While out shopping the following morning, Mrs. Murphy ran into the local policeman on the beat, who also attended the Toastmasters meetings. “Mornin’ Mrs. Murphy,” he said. “That was a wonderful toast your husband gave last night. He won first prize.” “Mornin’ Mrs. Murphy,” he said. “That was a wonderful toast your husband gave last night. He won first prize.” “Well, I’m afraid he wasn’t quite honest with the facts,” Mrs. Murphy replied. “He’s only been there twice. The first time he fell asleep, and the second time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”


89. Our one-year-old throws a complete fit if his breakfast doesn’t include toast.

We think he might be lack toast intolerant.


90. What did one piece of toast say to the other piece of toast as they were vigorously rubbing against each other?

Don’t stop I’m about to crumb.


91. Freudian Slip

A man is going through an airport after buying his ticket, and he walks over to a friend with his head down. “Ah man, I can’t believe what just happened. I had a Freudian slip. Do you see the ticket agent with the huge cans? I accidentally asked her for two pickets to titsville.” His friend replies, “don’t worry about it, I had that happen to me this morning with my wife. I meant to ask her to pass the jam and toast.” “Instead, I said, ‘you stupid cunt, you ruined my life.'”


92. This little boy came down to breakfast

and when he got to the table, his mom had bacon, eggs and milk on the table, but before he could eat, he had to take out the trash like his mother told him the night before. He was pissed, so he stormed out the door, and on his way to the trash bin he kicked a chicken, and then a pig and a cow. When he got back in the house, there was toast and orange juice on the table. He asked his mom what happened to the other food, she said she saw what he did and he wasn’t getting what she cooked. So, he was eating the toast and his dad came up and stumbled over the cat, and he kicked it. The little boy said to his mom, “Are you going to tell or am I?…”


93. What’s a neckbeard’s favorite thing to put on toast?



94. The MC at an Irish wedding made a toast. “Can all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made their lives meaningful”.

The bartender was subsequently crushed to death.


95. On a Saturday morning, three boys come down to the kitchen

And sit around the breakfast table. Their mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast,” he says. The mother is outraged at his crude language. She hits him and sends him upstairs. When she calms down, she asks the middle child what he wants. “Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin’ French toast for me,” he says. The mom is livid. She smacks him and sends him away. Finally, she looks at the youngest son and asks him what he wants for breakfast. “I don’t know,” he says meekly, “but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast!”


96. My buddy came up with this toast for a wedding

She offered her honor. He honored her offer And all night, he was on her and off her


97. What do you call an Ignorant Piece of Toast

A Breadneck


98. Gentlemen, a toast.

To bread! Because without bread, there would be no toast.


99. Sneezed all over my toast.

Can’t believe it’s not butter…

100. I was disappointed in the synonym toast,

Because it was just warm bread.


101. I made some French toasts for my kids

Oui all liked it


102. My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day.

I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.


103. My son helped me out with this one. What do doors spread on their toast?



104. I made some toast and refused to give our little doggo a bite. My kids asked why she looked so sad…

I told them she was lack-toast intolerant.Jamb


105. I like Synonym Toast Crunch.

It’s tasty. And yummy as well.


106. I had some delicious honey on my toast this morning.

Later as I walked past the hive where it came from I said “Thank you bees for making the best honey in the world.” A few shouted back “It’s good but we wouldn’t say it was the best honey in the world.” Oh, I thought, they must be humble-bees.


107. Zuul asks Peter Venkman if he wants to wreck up a city and toast marshmallows in the flames.

Venkman says, “Nah, I’m not a big marshmallow guy.”


108. Some people like Toad in the Hole, but I like my eggs a toast boat.

Unfortunately, it can only be bought in a bay kery.


109. I’m not sure if I like toast.

On the upside, it’s buttered. But on the downside, it’s not.


110. My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.

Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.


111. Whenever I eat burnt toast it makes me feel sick.

I guess I’m just black toast intolerant.


112. “I’d like to have a toast” said the father-in-law at his daughter’s wedding

“Add some jam on it,” he continued (Smh this wasn’t appreciated enough at r/jokes)


113. I had a stack of 52 slices of toast this morning.

I ate an entire deck of carbs!


114. I used to know a guy who was all about getting his waffle in the morning. That’s all he’d talk about! He’d even take people’s toast out of the toaster and put in his waffles.

He’s such an Eggo-maniac


115. I’m a trucker. My dispatcher texted me to ask if I’d picked up a load of frozen toast. This was my response…

20,000lb of frozen bread so clearly I’m loafing along and a gluten for punishment. Bad puns are the yeast of my problems. This load takes me to the upper crust, but if I don’t get it in on time I’m toast! Sorry about my rye sense of humor…


116. Just found out why my toast kept getting burnt

My toaster had a pop-up blocker on.


117. What does Morrissey have on his toast?

I don’t know but Johnny Marr might


118. I’ve been eating toast to improve my self

I’m a breader person for it


119. So at dinner tonight, my 9-year-old says, “I’d like to make a toast”

“Where’s the bread?”


120. The person who invented toast

“Cook it again”


121. I used to like french toast

But making it is such a pain


122. I can’t eat burned toast

I’m black toast intolerant


123. My kids asked whether you smell burnt toast or burnt popcorn when you’re having a stroke

I told them, “It’s Different Strokes for Different Folks.”


124. I recently got into an argument with a friend. I said that butter can make a plain toast way better.

He disagreed and said it only improves it margarine-ally.


125. I was playing the game, ‘God of War’ and out of nowhere, I saw the lead character, Kratos eating a bread toast. 

It was then and there that I decided to call him Kratoast.


126. Once Darth Vader went to a cafe for breakfast.

He ordered some bread toast and asked the waitress to make it a little bit on the dark side.


127. My grandma has this habit of putting toppings on toast every time we have breakfast over at her place.

She says toppings on toast make it taste butter.


128. My father is never sure whether he likes toast or not. 

On the upside, he says, it is buttered. But for the downside, it is not.


129. I found myself wondering one day why slices of toast and bread look so similar and the answer suddenly dawned upon me.

They do so due to being breadren.


130. Whenever I am drinking milk during my breakfast, I raise a glass to my flour, egg, vanilla, sugar, and bread.

If someone asks me what all that was about, I say I was raising a French toast.


131. When the slice of bread saw some jam and butter on the table,

he told his slice friend slice that they were toast!


132. I don’t know why but slices of bread behave weirdly during hot and warm weather.

It might be because things get a little bit toasty.


133. All the toasts in the world gathered together to play a baseball game.

Turns out that the team of French toast was the best baseball team because it had a good batter.


134. I got really upset when I learned that my friend had unknowingly eaten all the toast in the kitchen. 

My friend shouldn’t have done that due to the fact that I am lack-toast intolerant.


135. My brothers and I decided to prank the grumpy neighbor by putting bread and jam in his car.

Guess, now his engine’s toast.


136. When the bread escaped after stealing lots of money from the bank,

the FBI put him on their Toast Wanted List.


137. Once my friend threw a bunch of toast at me and knocked me out.

I was fine after a while that day, but ever since the incident, I have been suffering from the toast-concussion syndrome.


138. Toppings really make a toast so much better,

Avocado get me such a toast.


139. When I saw the toast lifeless on the road after being run over by a car,

I felt bad for him. It was such a bad accident that I don’t think the police can do a toast-mortem on him.


140. I was surprised that the waitress knew what kind of toast I wanted for breakfast,

I guess she must have bread my mind.


141. During my wedding speeches, my witty uncle raised a slice of bread and said,

“Here is a toast for the happy new couple”.


142. I am writing a book about a futuristic world where only loaves of bread are alive.

I am calling it a toast-apocalyptic fiction.


143. The newspaper that most slices of bread like to read early in the morning?

Washington Toast


144. There is a special part of a toast where you can find plenty of oil.

That part is called the Middle Yeast.


145. Whenever I plug in my computer to play games, the house electric circuit goes to toast.

I hate to say it but I think I am a circuit baker.


146. It came as a major shock to everyone when the beautiful bread got engaged to the baker’s yeast.

Well, this was a good old example of Beauty and The Yeast.


147. Being the new baker in town,

He knew that it would be a while before people started coming to his shop and started crusting him.


148. My father is someone who always talks about having waffles and toast in the morning. He would even have toast and waffles for lunch in the office. 

Sometimes, he would even take out my toast from the toaster and put in waffles for himself. I hate to say it but he really is an egg-omaniac.


149. The pound of bread was always upset because every time he made plans to escape,

It would go rye.


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