160 Winter Jokes

The winter period is one of the gloomier times of the year, compared to the summer and spring months. Everything is freezing outside which means it’s hard to find something good to laugh about.

Apart from the widely celebrated holidays that happen during this season, not much is said about this season. Using jokes to spread cheer during the gloomy winter months is good for keeping people together.

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You will realize that these jokes are fun to tell to kids. If your little ones enjoy telling jokes and making others laugh, you can send them to school with these winter jokes.

Beat the cold and warm up with laughter by engaging in the following fun winter jokes.

 

1. What do snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren

 

2. What is the best kind of cereal to eat in winter?

 

3. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

“Can you smell carrot?”

 

4. What did the icy road say to the car?

“Want to go for a spin?”

 

5. What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?

Snow

 

6. What can you catch with your eyes closed?

A cold!

 

7. What do you get in December that you can’t have in any other month?

The letter “D”!

 

8. What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet!

 

9. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?

Lost!

 

10. What is an “ig”?

A snow house without a loo!

 

11. Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake

 

12. Where do arctic seals go to see movies?

The dive-in

 

13. What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?

Snow and Tell

 

14. How do mountains stay warm?

A meltdown

 

15. What do trees say after a long winter?

What a re-leaf

 

16. What is a mountain’s favorite type of candy?

Snowcaps

 

17. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

An abdominal snowman.

 

18. What is a snowman’s favorite snack?

Ice krispies treats

 

19. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite!

 

20. Where do snowmen put their money?

Snowbanks.

 

21. Why was the blanket discouraged?

The snuggle is real.

 

22. How do you know when it’s too cold for a picnic?

When you chip your tooth on the soup!

 

23. What do you call a gangsta snowman?

Froze-T

 

24. Which side of an Arctic Tern has the most feathers?

The outside.

 

25. What do you call a snowman in summer?

A puddle

 

26. What is the Ice Queen’s favourite cake?

She doesn’t mind the flavour as long as it has lots of frosting!

 

27. How does a snowman get around?

He rides an icicle!

 

28. Did you hear about the snowman spy?

He has a license to chill.

 

29. Why did the girl put her record player in the snow?

She only listens to cool music!

 

30. What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers?

Leeks

 

31. What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?

A snowmobile

 

32. What did one snowflake say to the other?

“You’re one of a kind.”

 

33. How did the snow globe feel after listening to a scary story?

A bit shaken up!

 

34. Why didn’t Guns N’ Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?

Axel Froze

 

35. How do you warn one of Santa’s helpers?

“Check your elf before you wreck your elf.”

 

36. What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!

 

37. What do you call an old snowman?

Water

 

38. What happened when all the muskox wool that was collected was stolen?

The police combed the area.

 

39. Why did the farmer only wear one boot to town?

He heard there would be a 50 percent chance of snow!

 

40. What do you call a glove combined with a snake?

Smitten

 

41. Why did the boy only wear one boot?

There was a 50% chance of snow.

 

42. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for Fresh Prints!

 

43. What’s a snowman’s favorite school activity?

Snow and tell

 

44. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowmen?

Brrrr – itos

 

45. Did you hear about the lisping snowman?

He came, the thaw, he conquered.

 

46. Why do arctic seals and penguins not get along?

They are polar opposites!

 

47. What do you call a penguin with no eye?

A pengun!

 

48. What kind of money do snowmen use in the North Pole?

Cold hard cash

 

49. Why do Klingons prefer winter for cooking?

Their dishes are best served cold.

 

50. Why didn’t the penguin jump off the iceberg?

He got cold feet

51. How does a group of penguins make a decision?

They flipper coin

 

52. What do penguins sing on a birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

 

53. What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?

A Frosty

 

54. What kind of fish do penguins catch at night?

Starfish

 

55. What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic?

Cold cream

 

56. What did the sign say in the reindeer stable?

“There’s snow place like home.”

 

57. What do penguins eat for lunch?

Ice-burgers

 

58. How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the winter

 

59. Did you hear about the politicians whose best speeches were outdoors in the winter?

He could really turn a freeze

 

60. What did one penguin say to the other?

Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.

 

61. How do snowmen greet each other?

“Ice to meet you!”

 

62. Why is Frosty never late?

Time waits for snow man

 

63. What happens when winter arrives?

Autumn leaves

 

64. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?

I have no eye deer

 

65. Did you know that a cyclops’s favorite winter sport is skiing?

It’s like skiing, but with one eye!

 

66. What does a Snowman take when he gets sick?

A chill pill

 

67. Why is it hard to ski after fresh snow?

With great powder comes great responsibility.

 

68. Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?

Swarm

 

69. What did one Arctic murre say to the other?

“What? We flew 2000 miles for THIS?!”

 

70. Why do birds fly to warmer climates in winter?

It’s easier than walking.

 

71. What noise wakes you up at the North Pole around March 18?

The crack of dawn!

 

72. If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?

No privacy

 

73. What did the walrus say when it was late?

“I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship.”

 

74. How do you stop getting cold feet in winter?

You don’t go around brr-footed!

 

75. What’s the best kind of dog to get for the holidays?

A “pointsetter!”

 

76. What is white, minty and has a crisp bite?

A polo bear!

 

77. Why aren’t penguins as lucky as Arctic murres?

The poor old penguins can’t go south for the winter

 

78. What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?

“You hang around while I go on ahead.”

 

79. What do you call a big mean polar bear?

Don’t call it anything, just RUN!

 

80. Where do seals go to see movies?

The dive-in

 

81. Why are snowmen great at parties?

They always break the ice

 

82. How do you put a polar bear into the freezer?

Just open the doors, polar bears love cold places!

 

83. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra

 

84. What’s the scariest part of owing Santa money?

He snows where you live.

 

85. What sits on the bottom of the cold Arctic Ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

 

86. What did the dog musher say when he got lost?

“I’ve sled us astray.”

 

87. What is red, white, and blue over winter break?

A sad candy cane.

 

88. What do you call a ghost in the winter?

Casp-brrrrr

 

89. Did you hear about the man buried alive under a sudden snowstorm?

He was feeling under the weather.

 

90. What happens when you’re alone in the water and get too cold?

You’re totally ice-olated.

 

91. What do you call one day below freezing and the next day at 70 degrees?

“It’s snowing today, but water you doing tomorrow?”

 

92. What was Frosty the Snowman’s career?

He was in snow business.

 

93. What is a female snowman called?

A snow-ma’am

 

94. How do you build a snow fort?

You igloo it together.

 

95. Has the abominable snowman called?

Not Yeti

 

96. What advice should you give to snow moving to the big city?

Flake it till you make it

 

97. What’s a snowman’s favorite meat?

Cold cuts!

 

98. What do you call a snowman’s dog?

A slushpuppy

 

99. What do computers wear in the winter?

Snow-boots

100. What did Yoda tell the snowman when he found out he had tunnel vision?

“All ICY is you!”

 

101. What do superheroes put in their drinks?

Just-ice

 

102. What do you call a snowman on wheels?

A bICICLE

 

103. What do you call a snowman in the produce aisle?

Nose shopping

 

104. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”

 

105. Why do reindeer have fur coats?

Because they look silly in snow suits.

 

106. What’s a snowman’s favorite condiment?

Chilly sauce

 

107. What do you call it when a reindeer ignores you?

The cold shoulder

 

108. How do you scare a snowman?

Get out a hairdryer

 

109. What do you call a penguin that steals calamari?

A squid-napper

 

110. How do snowmen greet each other?

“Ice to meet you!”

 

111. Why don’t penguins fly?

They’re not tall enough to be pilots.

 

112. Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Snow! Snow who?

Snow laughing matter

 

113. What do you call a photo of the North Pole?

A polar-oid

 

114. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Emma! Emma who?

Emma feeling bit cold out here – let me in!

 

115. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

You have to hollow out the head

 

116. Where’s the warmest place in the South Pole?

On a map

 

117. What did the penguin say when it swam into a wall?

“Dam!”

 

118. What do you call a reindeer without eyes?

No eye deer (no idea)

 

119. Who delivers the Christmas presents to baby sharks?

Santa Jaws.

 

120. What says, “Now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?”

A snowman on a cross walk!

 

121. What’s a good holiday tip?

Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter

 

122. What do snowmen do on Christmas?

A snowman on a cross walk!

 

123. How was the snow globe feeling?

A little shaken!

 

124. Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose?

Because he forgot where the refrigerator was

 

125. Why are there only snow men and not snow women?

Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.

 

126. What did Frosty call his cow?

Eskimoo!

 

127. What is a snowman’s favorite pet?

B-Lizzard

 

128. What is a Snowman’s favorite drink?

An ice-cappuccino!

 

129. Why did a snowman send his father to Siberia?

Because he wanted frozen pop!

 

130. Where do witches go skiing?

Slalom

 

131. Why did the snowman go to the doctor?

He was feeling chilled!

 

132. How do snowmen read their e-mails?

With an icy-stare!

 

133. What happens when a snowman spills his coffee?

Cold brew

 

134. Why did the snowman have dandruff?

His head was flaky

 

135. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

 

136. Why did the snowman get dumped by his partner?

She was cold-hearted

 

137. How did the Snowman win the boxing match?

By coldcocking his opponent

 

138. Why did the snowman scold his dog?

He was biting

 

139. What is a Snowman’s favorite soup?

Cream of B-leek

 

140. Why was the baby snowman crying?

Her mother S-colded her.

 

141. Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was walking south for the winter.

 

142. Why do bears hibernate in winter?

So they don’t Netflix and chill.

 

143. What do bears have in their homes?

Fir-nature

 

144. Why do musicians like the winter?

So they can play cool jazz.

 

145. Why is it easier to say the alphabet at Christmas?

There is Noel

 

146. How does a German skier cry for help?

Alp! Alp!

 

147. What do you call a sled that belongs to Bob?

A Bobsled.

 

148. Why is blackcurrant the fastest sorbet to eat?

It’s made of blackice.

 

149. Why don’t people sunbathe in the winter?

It’s a bit nipply.

150. Why do women not hike four days out of every month?

Because they have their crampons.

 

151. What’s a bear’s favorite type of pie?

 

152. Why did the winter Olympian pick his nose?

He had a Luge-e.

 

153. Where is the best place to keep a fire?

The fireplace.

 

154. What do you send to a sick friend in winter?

A get well soon card-igan.

 

155. How do you call a cab in winter?

You hail it

 

156. How does an Inuit man build his home?

With gloo.

 

157. How do people say their prayers in winter?

Hail Mary

 

158. What did the seal say when they swam into a wall?

Dammn.

 

159. Why does everybody love winter?

Because it’s snow much fun!

 

160. What’s type of building is the tallest in Antarctica?

It’s an Ice Scraper.

 

 

 

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