175 Funny Mexican Jokes and Puns

‘Can we taco-bout how risky it was for God to have Jesus in Mexico? Spilling the beans, he would have easily died with all the te-quil-a shots served over there.’ Imagine how awful the world would be with no Taco Bell or tequila!’

Funny Mexican Jokes and Puns

If you are hungry for more Mexican, try our collection of jokes that will crack your ribs open on a Friday taco night. 

1. Reading in Mexico is not very interesting because there are no books. Only Manuels.

They hold on to the banana-ister.

 

2. What do you call a Mexican quarterback?

El Passo

 

3. Do you know the best Mexican songs of all time?

Baby Juan More Time, Another Juan Bites the Dust, Taco Chance on Me, Some Juan to Love.

 

4. What is the difference between a mexican and a drawer?

A drawer has papers.

 

5. We all know who the richest man is in the US, but who is the richest Mexican?

Jeff Pezos

 

6. Why did the Mexican sign-up for Tinder?

He was looking for a Juan-night stand!

 

7. I’m hungry,

let’s eat Mexican

 

8. What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a country singer?

Arriba McEntire!

 

9. Why did only a couple of thousand Mexican soldiers show up for the Alamo battle?

Because they only had 3 vans.

 

10. What do you call a Mexican old man?

Señor Citizen

 

11. Did you hear about the four-car pileup in Mexico city?

45 people died

 

12. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

A game of Juan on Juan

 

13. Why did God NOT have Jesus in Mexico?

Because he could not find a virgin and 3 wise men.

 

14. What do they call Santa Claus in Mexico?

Ho-Ho-Jose!

 

15. Why do Mexicans never win the gold model at the Olympics?

Because everyone who knows how to jump, run and swim has already made it to the United States.

 

16. Do you know the difference between a hispanic and a stoner?

The stoner has papers.

 

17. What did the Mexican say to the house that just fell on him?

Get off me home’s.

 

18. How do Mexicans drink soda?

They drink soda in Mexi-cans

 

19. Mexicans love the “Star Wars” movies

No wonder. Their favorite characters are Obi Juan Kenobi and Juan Solo.

 

20. Mexican Ghostbusters

Who ya gonna call?

 

21. Why can’t Mexicans become firefighters?

They can’t tell the difference between Jose and Hose B. (Hose A and Hose B)

 

22. What is the best gift you can give to a Mexican tax preparer on his birthday?

A piñatax

 

23. There is a big Mexican party tonight.

And everyJuan is going.

 

24. What is the most positive Mexican city?

WE CANcun.

 

25. How do Mexicans typically solve relationship problems?

They taco-bout it.

 

26. In what part of Mexico do kangaroos live?

Cancunroo

 

27. This Mexican woman kept talking to me.

But I told her “I’m nacho friend”

 

28. Three Mexicans try to cross the border legally when the border guard sees only one of them has the correct papers.

Only Juan crossed

 

29. What do you call a cross between an octopus and a Mexican?

I don’t know, but it sure can pick a lot of oranges.

 

30. How do you pay in Mexican stores?

In MexiCASH

 

31. Why did this Mexican guy freak out?

He was battling His-panic attacks

 

32. What is the best transportation in Mexico?

In MexiCAR

 

33. Why did this Mexican man shoot his wife?

Te-quil-a

 

34. What do you call a relaxed Mexican?

MexiCALM

 

35. What do you call a short Mexican?

A paragraph. Because he’s not as big as an ‘essay’ (ése is the equivalent of “dude” in Mexican slang).

 

36. What is a Mexican slut called?

María Hoesé..

 

37. Mexican and black jokes are pretty much the same.

When you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal (’em all)

 

38. Why is Mexican ice cream spicy?

Because it was chili in the freezer

 

39. Never play Uno with a Mexican.

They hoard all the green cards.

 

40. What is the best way to pay in Mexico?

With a Juan-time payment

 

41. What’s the difference between Jesus and a Mexican?

Jesus doesn’t have a tattoo of a Mexican.

 

42. What do you call a Mexican spy?

Agent GarCIA.

 

43. What do you call a Mexican man with a “rubber toe”?

Roberto

 

44. What Greek God exists in Mexican culture?

ChilAquiles.

 

45. What do you call a dyslexic Mexican?

Dysmexic

 

46. How do Mexican scientists measure matter?

In moles

 

47. Why did this Mexican family only have 12 people in their van?

Because they needed room to bring the groceries back.

 

48. What do you call a spider piñata?

Piñatarantula

 

49. One day, a man crossed over the U.S. border…into Mexico, seeking better living conditions for his family. 

Then he was forced to go back to his job as a Senator from Texas.

50. What’s the difference between American hot dogs and Mexicans?

Americans make hot dogs, Mexicans chili dogs.

 

51. What do you call stoned Mexicans?

 

52. Why don’t Mexicans like high places?

They have vertaco.

 

53. I wanted to visit my Mexican friend, but…

…when I knocked on his door, no Juan was there.

 

54. Two Mexicans are hiding a dead body when they find that place is already used.

One of them finds another spot “We should burrito-ver there”.

 

55. What’s a Mexican favorite bookstore?

Borders

 

56. Name three Mexican bands:

Juan Direction, Red Hot Chili Peppers, twenty Juan pilots

 

57. A Mexican magician gets on stage… …and announces to the audience

“I will now disappear on the count of three. Uno. Dos . . .” and then he disappeared without a trace”.

 

58. What is the name of the Mexican Mac&cheese version?

Mac&Chili.

 

59. What do you say to your nosey Mexican neighbor?

That’s nacho business!

 

60. What is the name of Nintendo’s Animal Crossing in Mexico?

Border Crossing.

 

61. Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?

Because that will give them something to unwrap.

 

62. The best pop girl group song in Mexico is “Tijuana be my lover” by?

 

63. What do you call a short Mexican?

A paragraph because they’re not full ese!!

 

64. There’s a Spiderman character inspired in Mexico:

Mary Jane

 

65. Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?

Because it makes it a lot easier to climb over a fence.

 

66. How did you know she was Mexican?

Chili-terally told me she is.

 

67. What is a mexican favorite sport?

Cross-country.

 

68. Why do Mexicans always have a wheel of cheddar?

In queso-f emergencies.

 

69. What are the chances that a Mexican will successfully cross the US border illegally?

Juan in a hundred

 

70. I took a sweater on my vacation to Mexico.

It said it would be Mexi-cold and chili that week.

 

71. Why did the Mexican guy buy a mousetrap?

He needed te-quil-a mouse.

 

72. What is a Mexican doing with a Lamborghini?

Playing GTA

 

73. Why did God give Mexicans noses?

So they have something to pick in the winter.

 

74. Why couldn’t the Mexican actor get a role in the movie?

The drug dealer was already taken.

 

75. How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just Juan (one)

 

76. Why do Mexicans envy chicken?

Because the chicken could cross the border.

 

77. Who is every Mexican’s favorite Disney princess?

 

78. My last girlfriend married a Latino.

Now she is M-EX-ican

 

79. What do you call a burrito with poor resolution?

A blurrito

 

80. What do you call a Mexican restaurant with live music?

Mariacheese

 

81. How do you get an ambulance in Mexico?

Call Nine-Juan-Juan

 

82. Why did the Mexican give you his number?

So you can taco-ver the phone.

 

83. What’s a Mexican’s favorite classic novel?

Te-quil-a Mockingbird.

 

84. Why do Mexicans put a Justin Bieber photo in their quesadilla?

Just-in queso

 

85. What do you call a Mexican without a car?

Carlos

 

86. What is Shakira’s most famous song in Mexico?

Waka Waka-mole.

 

87. How did a Mexican girl get pregnant?

Her university professor told her to do an essay (ése means homeboy or dude in Mexican slang)

 

88. I participated in a car race in Mexico.

My Carlos.

 

89. Why do Mexicans have movie streaming services?

So they can Netflix and chili.

 

90. What is Aztecs favorite sauce?

Mayannaise

 

91. What’s the difference between Mexicans and French people?

French people say “Oh la la”, and Mexicans say just “Ho-la”

 

92. I went to see a soccer match in Mexico.

It ended tied Juan to Juan.

 

93. How can you tell a Mexican is racist?

He joined the que-que-que (k-k-k)

 

94. I traveled to Mexico in a boat.

It was a Vera-Cruise

 

95. What do you call four Mexicans stuck in quicksand?

Quatro sink-o

 

96. What do Mexican marines say to their superiors?

Sea señor

 

97. Why don’t you ever trust a taco chef with your secrets?

Because they always spill the beans!

 

98. What do Mexicans say when it is cold?

Brrr-itos.

 

99. Why do Mexicans keep wheels of cheese in the back of their trucks?

In queso emergencies.

100. I’m decided to visit Mexico before I die

I’ll go Juan way or another.

 

101. What is the Mexicans favorite 90s band?

 

102. A Mexican thinks his wife has an affair but she says he is the only

Juan

 

103. I visited my Mexican friend but when I knocked on the door

it seemed there was no Juan there.

 

104. One Mexican told another: I need to tell you something important.

So the other said: We should taco-bout it later.

 

105. They are looking for a Mexican actor.

The post says “AnyJuan interested come to the audition this Monday”

 

106. One Mexican is worried his girlfriend doesn’t answer so his friend tells him

“Stop being all jalapeño head about this”

 

107. My Mexican girlfriend makes delicious quesadillas.

Cheese is a great cook.

 

108. How do Mexicans laugh?

Hahahlapenos

 

109. What do you call a Mexican ant?

Immigr-ant.

 

110. How do you know when a Mexican is being nosey?

When he starts getting jalapeño business.

 

111. That Mexican movie

es Juanderful.

 

112. How do Mexicans sneeze?

Quetzalquotle.

 

113. The best part of the Mexican zoo was

the penJuans.

 

114. The uber driver was Mexican and didn’t speak any English.

The whole way was guac-ward.

 

115. This Mexican guy won’t stop talking to me.

I said “I’m nacho friend” but he doesn’t taco seriously.

 

116. I said at a Mexican restaurant “My quesadilla has too much cheese”.

Then the waiter said “O-Que, so that’s the way it is supposed to be”

 

117. “We could make a road trip to Mexico,

you avocadon’t you?”

 

118. This Mexican place is awesome.

It’s nachos another restaurant.

 

119. What is 6.022 x 10²³ in Mexico?

The Avocado number.

 

120. Mexicans are good and humorous people.

That’s why we’ve come up with these funny Mexican puns for you to have a great and joyful day!

 

121. The taco bell employee could not come to work

because he had a bad queso measles.

 

122. Most bakers open tortilla factories

for some extra dough.

 

123. In South America,

they eat a lot of nachos with some Chile on the side.

 

124. The taco chef had to stop cooking in the competition

because he was out of thyme.

 

125. The Mexican food told his lover,

“You guac my life!”

 

126. When aliens invade Mexico and steal tacos,

it becomes a hostile taco-ver.

 

127. Most jokes about the nachos are usually

very cheesy.

 

128. If you do not enjoy eating tacos,

I’m warning you that I am nacho type.

 

129. Two Mexicans are talking while waiting for the bus.

The bus arrives so one says to the other “we should TACOn the bus”

 

130. You can never trust tacos

because they always spill the beans.

 

131. What did the Mexican doctor tell his patient?

Be ready for a different Día de los Muertos this year

 

132. A beautiful lady who loves eating Mexican food is known as?

a Taco Belle

 

133. Best Mexican Dj?

Avich

 

134. The taco bell employee could not come to work

because he had a bad queso measles.

 

135. Why do Mexican phones smell like cheese?

They use phone quesadillas instead of phone cases

 

136. I saw that on a Mexican website.

Mexi.com

 

137. What is a Mexican doing with an iPhone?

Running from the cops

 

138. That Mexican show was

spec-taco-lar

 

139. Where do Mexican geniuses live?

Chili-con Valley

 

140. I accidentally took a Mexican’s lunch at work.

He told me “That’s nachos, it’s mine”

 

141. What did the Mexican ghost say to his victim?

BOO-rrito

 

142. What do you call a Mexican cat?

A Purrito

 

143. What did the Mexican duck say to the other?

Quack-amole

 

144. I fell in love with a Mexican.

I thought she was single, but she is Mariad

 

145. What is a disabled Mexican called?

Mexican’t

 

146. What do you do when you see a Mexican running?

Run after him and think what he could have stolen

 

147. Mexican kids 

sing head, nachoulders, knees and burritoes, knees and burritos

 

148. If you want to order butter in Mexico just say?

“Hey man, tequila please”

 

149. Why do Mexicans eat burrito and tamales on Christmas?

To have something to unwrap

150. How to make a Mexican woman:

put mayannaise, be sure cheese illegal and let chili for a couple hours

 

151. What do you call a silly Mexican?

Chili

 

152. Did you hear about the Mexican version of Avengers?

Thortilla is shorter while Hulk is painted with guacamole.

 

153. Why is the golden eagle in the Mexican flag?

Because they want to be l-eagle

 

154. What do you call emergencies in Mexico?

Nine Juan Juan

 

155. Did you hear about the Mexican astronaut?

He went to spice in a MASA rocket

 

156. How do you find a Mexican in a crowd?

Scream “the police is coming”

 

157. What is a Mexican dinosaur called?

T-Mex

 

158. Why do Mexicans make inch-iladas?

Because they are too short to make anything bigger

 

159. Why are Mexicans good at obstacle racing?

They are used to run while jumping fences

 

160. Why do Mexicans walk into every place like they own it?

They probably built it or work cleaning it

 

161. Why do Mexicans get sick easily?

Because they are ill-legal immigrants

 

162. Why don’t Mexicans pass geography?

They don’t know where to draw the border between Mexico and USA

 

163. Why do Mexicans avoid the cold?

They are afraid of ICE (Immigrations and Customs Enforcement)

 

164. The cops ask a Mexican to prove he is American so he starts singing:

“Joseeee can you seeeee”

 

165. Why do Mexicans have huge gardens?

To practice lawn mowing

 

166. What is the difference between a Mexican product and an American product?

One is made by a Mexican while the other by a Mexican immigrant

 

167. My Mexican friend’s mom died.

To make him feel better I tell him “mucho” every time I see him, it means a lot to him

 

168. What is Mexicans favorite Nordic god?

Thortilla

 

169. The ICE made a plan to get all illegal Mexican immigrants together.

No Juan escaped.

 

170. How did the Mexican firefighter name his son?

Hose A

 

171. What are Mexicans favorite mythologic gods?

Je-Zeus, Thortilla, and A-pollo

 

172. What do you call a Mexican taller than 5′?

Maxican

 

173. What do you call a Mexican that escaped prison?

The Juan that got away

 

174. What do you call a missing Mexican?

Lo-st-pez

 

175. Where should you go in a Mexican building in case of fire?

To the M-exit-co

 

 

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