180+ Funniest Banana Jokes and Puns

‘Do you know what happens when you tell a banana a really funny joke? They break out into side-splitting laughter!’ 

Forget when you last cracked up after you saw someone slip over a banana peel. We have scoured the internet jungle and compiled a whole bunch of funny banana jokes and puns just for you.

Funniest Banana Jokes and Puns

Besides the health benefits of the fruit, you can basically get more from a banana. From an array of their shape, color, name, and connection with monkeys, you will also agree that silly banana puns are smile-inducing. You can make your loved ones burst into side-splitting laughter with our banana jokes.

These puns are whimsical, and many people will find it amusing for sure. Eat them up below!

1. How do monkeys stay safe when they walk down the stairs?

They hold on to the banana-ister.

 

2. What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz?

An electric banana.

 

3. “I am going bananas!”

That’s what I say to my bananas before I leave the house.

 

4. What is a sheep’s favorite fruit?

A baaaa-nana

 

5. You need to be extra nice to bananas, you know why?

You don’t want to hurt their peelings.

 

6. What do fruit use to buy things?

Banana bread

 

7. Why was the banana so upset?

Someone mistook him for a plantain!

 

8. What is the key to opening a banana?

A mon-key

 

9. Why did the banana go out with the prune?

Because he couldn’t find a date.

 

10. How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?

Try picking it up. If you can’t, it’s either a monster or a giant banana.

 

11. Why did the banana have to go to the hair salon?

Because she had split ends.

 

12. How does a banana answer the phone?

“Yellow?”

 

13. Why do bananas never get lonely?

Because they hang out in bunches.

 

14. They’re not going to grow bananas any longer.

Apparently, they’re long enough already.

 

15. What is the easiest way to make a banana split?

Cut it in half

 

16. What happens when two bananas break up?

A banana split

 

17. What’s the best thing to put in a banana cream pie?

Your teeth!

 

18. What kinds of jokes do bananas like to tell?

Side-splitting ones.

 

19. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn’t peeling well.

 

20. What did one banana say to the other banana that she just met?

Yellow, nice to meet you.

 

21. If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?

Slippers!

 

22. What is the easiest way to make a banana split?

Show it out the door.

 

23. What do you call a charismatic banana?

A banana smoothie!

 

24. When will the trail mix have enough money to buy a map?

After the banana chips in

 

25. What kind of school do bananas go to?

Sundae school

 

26. What’s yellow and always points north?

A magnetic banana.

 

27. What do you call solid gold bananas?

A bunch of money.

 

28. What did the banana say to the monkey?

Nothing, bananas can’t talk!

 

29. A little girl said: “I know how to spell ‘banana’…”

“… I just don’t know when to stop.”

 

30. Why did they cancel the ice cream social?

The banana split with the ice cream.

 

31. What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?

Ba-na-na-naaaaa

 

32. Why did the kid keep falling off his bike?

It had a banana seat.

 

33. Why didn’t the banana student go to school?

He told his parents that he wasn’t peeling well.

 

34. What’s yellow and used to write letters?

A ball-point banana.

 

35. Did you know that banana peel is supposed to be put under the controlled substance act?

It can give you bad trips.

 

36. How is a banana peel on the floor like music?

If you don’t C sharp you’ll B flat.

 

37. What’s yellow and goes 30 miles per hour?

A banana in a washing machine (Ewwwww!)

 

38. Someone who eats bananas must like them

a whole bunch.

 

39. What is the hippest kind of fruit?

A bae-nae-nae.

 

40. What fruit teases you a lot?

A ba-na-na-na-na-na

 

41. Why do monkeys like bananas so much?

Because they are very apeeling.

 

42. How can you easily spot an optimist?

An older person buying green bananas.

 

43. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? 

ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA!

 

44. What happens when you tell a banana a really funny joke?

They break out into side-splitting laughter!

 

45. Want to hear a potassium joke?

K

 

46. Why did the banana fail his driving test?

He kept peeling out.

 

47. What do you do when you see a blue banana?

Try to cheer it up.

 

48. What do you call two bananas?

A pair of slippers.

 

49. One man to another: “Excuse me, you have a banana in your ear!”

The other says: “I can’t hear you, I have a banana in my ear!”

50. Why was the plantain sent to the principal’s office?

It went bananas during class.

 

51. Why couldn’t the police catch the banana?

Because he split!

 

52. Where do bananas like to go swimming?

In a cereal bowl

 

53. What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys?

A bunch of idiots.

 

54. Where do bananas go to learn?

Sundae school.

 

55. What is a banana’s favorite day of the week?

Sundae

 

56. In what position was the banana during the Tour de France?

He was riding with the peel-oton

 

57. Time flies like an arrow

Fruit flies like a banana.

 

58. How do monkeys get downstairs?

They slide down the banana-ster.

 

59. Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm?

He kept throwing the bent bananas away.

 

60. What did the green banana think about the ripe banana?

He was green with envy.

 

61. Which former politician loves bananas?

Al Gore-illa.

 

62. What do you call the period of time between slipping on a banana and landing on your butt?

A bananosecond

 

63. Why couldn’t the banana yell high?

Because it could only yel-low.

 

64. Why didn’t the banana cross the road?

Because he was yellow.

 

65. What did the apple say to the green banana?

You don’t look like you’re feeling so good.

 

66. How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana?

She left him out in the sun too long.

 

67. What is it called when someone dressed as a banana eats a banana?

Cannibananalism

 

68. Why was the banana so sick he had to go to the hospital?

He had yellow mellow fever.

 

69. Why didn’t the man like invisible bananas?

He couldn’t see the appeal.

 

70. What do a banana and a helicopter have in common?

Neither of them is a police officer.

 

71. What’s invisible and smells like bananas?

Monkey farts

 

72. Why did the banana get so many Valentine’s Day gifts?

Because it was SO sweet.

 

73. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana?

|elephant| |banana| sin(θ).

 

74. Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas?

They were empty

 

75. How do you catch King Kong?

Hang upside down and act like a giant banana.

 

76. What did the orange say to the green banana?

You don’t look like you’re peeling well.

 

77. Bananas go out in a yellow submarine.

You don’t look like you’re peeling well.

 

78. A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?

The wiener

 

79. Knock Knock Who’s there!

Banana! Banana who? Banana split some ice cream?

 

80. Beethoven’s favorite fruit is 

Banana..an.

 

81. Why don’t bananas snore?

Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

 

82. I peel it

in my heart.

 

83. Why did the banana farmer lose his job?

Because he kept throwing away the bent bananas.

 

84. Woohoo!

This cover creates some peel inside me.

 

85. What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?

A boo-nana

 

86. After hearing your joke,

I’m peeling better now.

 

87. What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside?

A banana dressed up as a cucumber.

 

88. She is the ripe one

for you.

 

89. What do bananas wear on their feet?

A pair of slippers.

 

90. You’re ripe;

I should go for it.

 

91. What did the banana do when he saw a monkey coming?

He split

 

92. She is quite peal-ing

in front of others.

 

93. What happened to the banana who got a sunburn?

He peeled

 

94. Bananas don’t snore

because they don’t want to disturb another bunch.

 

95. What do you call a banana eating a banana?

because they don’t want to disturb another bunch.

 

96. Where do bananas go shopping for clothes?

Banana Republic.

 

97. What did the banana say to the judge?

“I’m going to win this case on a-peel!”

 

98. Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

Weird. I can’t remember ever eating a monkey.

 

99. If a man has six apples in one hand and eight bananas in the other, what has he got?

Massive hands

100. Why do bananas use sunblock?

Because otherwise, they’d peel.

 

101. How do you spell banana split?

Ba-nana

 

102. What’s worse than monkey eating bananas?

A monkey going bananas.

 

103. What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa 2

 

104. What is the favorite snack of the Super Mario Brothers?

Banana-nana-nana

 

105. What do you call a banana who can’t decide between coffee or tea?

Banana split

 

106. If farmer A sells apples, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell?

Medicine.

 

107. Why couldn’t the whipped cream find the banana?

Because it split.

 

108. Why do bananas have to wear suntan lotion?

Because the banana’s peel!

 

109. Why didn’t the banana cross the road?

It can’t walk — it’s a banana, silly!

 

110. What do you call two banana skins?

They’re a pair of slippers!

 

111. What do you call a banana that likes to dance?

A banana shake

 

112. What did the banana do when it saw the chimp?

The banana split!

 

113. What did the mommy banana say to the baby banana?

“You give me all the peels.”

 

114. Why was the banana so upset?

Someone mistook him for a plantain!

 

115. What happens when you tell a banana a really funny joke?

They break out into side-splitting laughter!

 

116. A woman is buying groceries. A woman is buying groceries, she buys a banana, some milk and butter. At the checkout, the clerk looks at her then the items in her basket and while scanning them says I can tell that you’re single.

The woman smiles and asks how can you tell and the clerk responds because you’re ugly.

 

117. You have less time to peel

this big decision.

 

118. Astute Diagnosis

A guy goes to the doctor, with a carrot up his nose. He’s got a piece of celery in his other nostril, and a banana in his ear. He says,”Doc, I don’t feel so good.”

The doctor says, “You’re not eating right.”

 

119. Get ready! 

We’re going to the Banana.

 

120. What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking? She’s going to eat me!

 

121. Let me peel this moment!

Why are you shaking? She’s going to eat me!

 

122. So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends…

The broccoli said: “I look like a tree!”

The mushroom said: “I look like an umbrella!”

The walnut said: “I look like a brain!”

The banana said: “Can we please change the subject?”

 

123. Cucumber, carrot, banana – none of them used for scale

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.

“What’s the matter with me Doc?” he asks.

The doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly!”

 

124. Nobody wanted to see the naked banana . . .

it just lacked appeal

 

125. What do you call solid gold bananas?

A bunch of money.

 

126. Banana starts with a B

but normally starts with an N.

 

127. An old man walked into an ice cream parlor…

He slowly climbed onto a stool, wincing with pain, and then proceeded to order a banana split.

“Crushed nuts, sir?” asked the waitress. The old man took a deep breath and replied, “No, arthritis”

 

128. My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one…

Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn’t peeling very well.

 

129. One of everything.

A man walks into a grocery store and grabs a shopping cart. He grabs one egg, one tomato, one head of lettuce, one steak, one banana, one apple, and one of everything else in the store.’

He walks up to the counter and starts putting his items on the belt. After the cashier gives him a weird look, she says, “You must be single.”

He says, “I am. How did you know?”

She says, “Because you’re extremely ugly.”

 

130. I just slipped on a banana skin.

I look ridiculous in it.

 

131. A woman goes to the doctor

A woman goes to the doctor with a raspberry in her left nostril, a string bean in her right, a carrot in her right ear and a banana in her left. The woman says “Doctor, I don’t feel so well.”

And the doctor replied

“Well for one thing, you’re *definitely* not eating correctly.”

 

132. What did Tony Abbott (Prime minister of Australia) do with the half-eaten banana?

He re-peeled it.

 

133. An 11-year-old girl realized that she had started to grow hair between her legs.

She got worried and asked her Mom about the hair. Her Mom calmly said ” That part where hair has grown is called a Monkey, be proud that your Monkey has grown hair.

” Next morning at breakfast she told her sister. ” My monkey has grown hair. ” her sister smiled and said ” That’s Nothing, mine is already eating Banana

 

134. A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: “You must be single.”

The man answers: “Wow, how did you know?”

Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”

 

135. What’s a banana made of?

One part barium, two parts sodium.

 

136. A woman is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The male cashier says: “You must be single.”

He got fired.

 

137. How do you peel a banana?

Get banana sunburned. Banana will soon begin to peel.

 

138. Scare banana.

Grab skin when it jumps out of it.

 

139. Hypnotize banana. Tell banana it is a snake.

Banana will shed skin.

 

140. Call banana yellow.

Banana will want to fight. Will remove jacket.

 

141. If you eat a banana without its consent

Does that make it Ripe?

 

142. What did the monkey say when he was on a winning streak?

I’ve had a banana roll lately.

 

143. Why was the banana a good prosecutor?

She always made the defense slip up on appeal.

 

144. What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?

Whatever you want, he can’t hear you.

 

145. I’m not saying my house has too many books

But I just saw an orang-utan in the kitchen, looking for a banana.

 

146. Doctors say bananas are good for preventing constipation. It didn’t work for me

…until I found out that he meant I should eat the banana.

 

147. Why do bananas have bruises?

Because their peelings got hurt

 

148. Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas that they’d never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”

“Why not?” “I took one bite and went blind for half a minute !!”

 

149. If A is for Apple and B is for Banana then what is C for?

Plastic Explosives

150. One monkey says to another monkey, what rhymes with Banana and the other monkey says

No, it doesn’t.

 

151. I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realized I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again …

Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.

 

152. I was hungry and low on potassium, He needed a device to help him weigh things, it seemed like a fair trade…

Banana for scale

 

153. My girlfriend wanted a favor from me

Her: I want you to kill my ex and make it seem like an accident

Me: Say no more

LATER: Detective: It looks like the killer beat him to death and then placed a banana peel by his feet

 

154. Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a banana and sued?

He won the trial, but he got overturned on a peel.

 

155. In a banana republic

the traffic lights go from green to yellow to brown.

 

156. A man goes to the grocery store and buys a banana, three peaches, and two pears.

As the cashier scans his food, she looks at it all and says “You must be single.” The man smiles and says “Yeah, how did you know?”

“Oh,” she says, “Because you’re ugly.”

 

157. What’s the difference between your parents and a banana?

You didn’t make the banana split.

 

158. A monkey asks another monkey

– What are you doing?

– Eating a banana.

– But why is it brown?

– Because I’m eating it for the second time.

 

159. What’s the difference between a banana and bananas?

One is just a banana and the other is crazy.

 

160. A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split.

The attendant began to make it for him and said “Crushed nuts?” And the guy said, “No, I just have a bad knee.”

 

161. Seeing a guy eat a banana…

is not the same as seeing a Chiquita banana!

 

162. Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana, who?

WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CARS EXTENDED WARRANTY.

 

163. What do you call a grandma sheep?

Banana

 

164. Where did the two bananas settle their legal dispute?

The court of A-peels

 

165. A customer asked a grocer, “How much is a banana?”

Grocer: $1

Customer: Would you sell it for .60 cents?

Grocer: You could only get the skin for that price.

Customer: Here’s .40 cents for the banana, keep the skin.

 

166. Can I tell banana jokes on this sub?

Because opinions on those jokes are pretty *split*. I don’t know if they’ll ap*peal* to everyone.

 

167. I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.

Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.

 

168. A few bananas are planning a heist

Right before they leap into action, they decide to run through the process again so all bananas know what they’re doing.

Firstly, two bananas will be creating a distraction a distance away from the heist. Then, the rest of the bananas will scatter to confuse the enemy and start the heist.

After going through the process a few more times, the bananas are certain that they know what to do, and thus a couple bananas peel off and the rest of the bananas split.

 

169. Why did the boy keep falling off his bike?

He slipped off the banana seat.

 

170. A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: “You must be single.” The man answers: “Wow, how did you know that?”

“I saw you browsing reddit on your phone,” she replied.

 

171. My boss accused me of “acting the monkey” at work.

I almost choked on my banana.

 

172. Ladies, if you want men to stop staring at your boobs…

Eat a banana.

 

173. What do you call a fruit that’s in charge of the company?

The top banana.

 

174. How do you get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-tonne banana in front of him.

 

175. Bananas are super sensitive!

I made fun of one the other day, but I felt bad because I hurt its peelings.

 

176. It’s so hard to make lemonade out of lemons when the world has gone bananas,

so I made banana bread.

 

177. Why did they cancel the ice cream social?

The ice cream and banana split!

 

178. My wife has been on a diet.

She hasn’t lost any weight, but you should see her climb a tree.

 

179. What do you call a banana that gets all the girls?

A banana smoothie

 

180. A friend of mine told me that all apples were yellow.

I was like, “That’s bananas.”

 

181. What can an apple do that a banana can’t?

Look round!

 

182. What’s yellow and sniffs?

A banana with a cold!

 

183. Why should you never tell banana jokes?

Because they’re all bent

 

184. The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.

That shit was bananas.

 

185. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Banana. Banana who?

Banana yellow, yellow! Howls of laughter.

 

186. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ice cream. Ice cream who?

Ice cream if you won’t eat my banana split!

 

187. Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?

He was going as a banana.

 

 

 

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