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190+ Best Dragon Jokes and Puns

Best Dragon Jokes and Puns

“One Chewsday, my friend who is an architect bought a large number of model dragons and took them to work.” 

“It was not until his seniors told him that he realized that one such model dragon was not to scale!”

“The whole world is now afraid the stylish Kimono dragon will spit fire on the map and we will all melt like ice.”

Best Dragon Jokes and Puns

Without dragging on, here is our breathing fire collection of dragon jokes and puns to keep in your treasure hoard. From ‘dragon fruit,’ the scariest fruit to ‘fire crackers’ –dragon’s favorite food, we trust our jokes won’t burn out.

1. How do dragons measure earthquakes?

They check the Richter-scale.


2. Why don’t dragons like knights?

They fight all knight long.


3. What do dragons sing when cooking?

Burn, baby, burn.


4. Why do dragons live in tall buildings?

They like to tower over people.


5.  Why are dragons great music teachers?

They know all the scales.


6. Did you hear about the dragon that stole the king’s crown?

It was his crowning achievement.


7. Why did the snake think it was a dragon?

It made a hiss-take.


8. What did the dragon eat after going to the dentist?

The dentist


9. Why didn’t the dragon go back to work?

It was fired


10. Why did the knight befriend the dragon?

It was claw-some


11. What do dragons do for fun?

They enter talon shows.


12. Why did the dragon hoard treasure when it was young?

They were its golden years


13. What is a dragon’s favorite TV show?

Dragons Den


14. Why didn’t the ice dragon have any friends?

It gave people the cold shoulder.


15. What is the scariest type of fruit?

The dragon fruit.


16. Why are dragons bad teachers?

Their lessons drag on.


17. What do you get if you’re bit by an ice dragon?



18. How do you know if a dragon is excited?

It gets all fired up.


19. Why didn’t the dragon go outside?

It was the reluctant dragon.


20. What do you get if you cross a dragon with an insect?

A dragonfly


21. What do you call a dragon that chucks fire balls at people?

A flame-thrower.


22. Why don’t dragons use cutlery?

Their tongues are already forked.


23. What is a dragon’s favorite toy?

A scale-xtric


24. What meal do dragons order from McDonald’s that tries to fight the dragon?

A scrappy meal


25. What do you get if you cross a car with a dragon?

Hot wheels


26. What do you get if you cross a dragon and a race-car?

A drag race


27. Where do dragons go for a manicure and massage?

The scale salon.


28. What kind of fly breathes fire?

A dragonfly


29. What is the nicest dragon Pokémon?



30. What road do dragons travel on?

The fly-way


31. Why do dragons cover themselves in gold?

They like to feel treasured.


32. What is a dragon’s favorite band?


33. Why do dragons eat chefs after they’ve been on TV?

It’s dinner and a show.


34. What do you get if you cross royalty with a dragon?

A drag queen


35. Why did the dragon set a barbie doll on fire?

It wanted a barbie-que.


36. Why did the dragon win the talent show?

She was the beast one there.


37. Why do dragons keep knight’s swords?

They always need spare toothpicks.


38. What is a dragon’s favorite food?

Fire crackers.


39. Why were there no dragons at the concert?

You were supposed to Imagine Dragons.


40. What does a dragon call a bus full of people?

Meals on wheels


41. Why were there spears sticking out of the dragon?

It had been lanced a lot.


42. Why are dragons bad parents?

They always scold their kids.


43. Why was the dragon ill?

It kept smoking.


44. What do dragons say when their eggs hatch?



45. What do you call a loud dragon?



46. Why was the dragon’s school built on the clouds?

It was a high school.


47. Why did the dragon love the wizard?

He was a-mage-ing.


48. Why did the French dragon eat a pony before dinner?

It was a horse d’oeuvre.


49. Why didn’t the dragon eat the knight in shining armor?

It didn’t have a tin opener.

50. What do you call a dragon that has been impaled with spears and loves to sing?


51. What dragon is always on the toilet?

The commode-o dragon.


52. What do you call a boring dragon?

A drag


53. What is a dragon’s favorite game?

Dungeons and dragons.


54. Why were the dragon and the lion friends?

They were both roar-some.


55. Why was the dragon tired?

It was going to knight school.


56. Why did Hiccup’s dragon go to the dentist?

It was toothless.


57. Why did the dragon throw the T-Rex into the air?

He wanted to see a dino-soar.


58. What book did the Viking read when his dragon set his house on fire?

How to train your dragon.


59. What holiday do dragons love?

Bon-fire night.


60. Where do dragons book their holidays?

Air D&D


61. What kind of stories do dragons like to tell?

Long tails


62. Where do ice dragons go on holiday?



63. What is a dragon’s favorite day of the week?



64. Why was fire oozing off the dragon?

It was molting lava.


65. Why was the dragon always angry?

It was a snap-dragon.


66. Why did the dragon keep making mistakes at home?

It lived in the cave of blunders.


67. How does a dragon speed read?

It scrolls through its tomes.


68. Why did the dragon dress in straw and cable?

It had gone hay-wire.


69. Why didn’t the dragon regret eating the knight?

It was a cold-blooded killer


70. What dragon is the best secret agent?



71. Why was Smaug the dragon kicked out of school?

He kept tolkein in class.


72. Why did the dragon go to the barber?

It was a bearded dragon.


73. Did you hear about the great stone dragon?

He was a chip off the old block?


74. Why did the princess go to a heavy metal concert?

Because the Dragon-forced her to go.


75. What did the dragon get after eating firecrackers?



76. How did the dragon kidnap the princess?

It dragged her away from the castle.


77. How can you tell a dragon egg apart from a regular egg?

Dragon eggs are eggsquisite.


78. What dragon Pokémon is nocturnal?\



79. Why do dragons love setting things alight on bonfire night?

Because, fire-works.


80. Why don’t dragons go on adventures?

They ask too many quest-ions.


81. Why didn’t the dragon like small creatures?

They were beneath him.


82. What do dragons study in school?



83. How high can dragons count?

Up to a rept-million.


84. Why didn’t the dragon like snakes?

They were hiss worst nightmare.


85. What do you call a dragon wearing a Japanese dress?

A kimono dragon.


86. What is the difference between a dragon and a car?

A car only has one horn.


87. What type of baths do dragons take?

A steam bath


88. What is the difference between a dragon and a car?

A car only has one horn.


89. What is a dragon’s favorite chocolate bar from the wild west?

A dragon wheel.


90. How did the dragon get into the highest room of the tallest tower?

It scaled the walls.


91. Why did the dragon keep knights on lances?

It was making skewers so they didn’t run off.


92. Why do dragons bathe in volcanoes?

So they can rinse, lava, and repeat.


93. How do you ground a dragon?

You cut its wings off.


94. What band is also a dragon’s favorite meal?


95. What dragon do you find at the end of a story?

The ender-dragon


96. Why did the dragon set the people alight?

It was training them to be fire-men.


97. What do dragons do on holiday?

Spend time in the hot tub.


98. Why did the humans wake the sleeping dragon?

They were alarmed.


99. Why did the dragon chase Bruce Springsteen?

Because he was born to run.

100. What do you call a good-looking dragon?

Smoking hot


101. What’s Donkey’s favorite movie?

Enter the Dragon


102. Why do January 6 deniers never last very long in Dungeons & Dragons campaigns?

They always fail their Constitution checks.


103. My niece told me this joke: What’s the difference between Chanukah and a dragon?

Chanukah is always eight nights. While a dragon sometimes ate knights.


104. Did you hear about the very old dragon?

They said he started draggin balls.


105. [joke about Minecraft] Why can’t the Ender Dragon read a book?

Because she always starts at the End.


106. A knight and a wizard encounter a dragon. Near the end of the battle, the dragon breathes fire at the knight, taking 2,199 of his 2,200 HP. The wizard uses 10 of his last 15 MP and deals 200 damage. The dragon, only having 199 HP left, dies and the knight and wizard are victorious. The knight’s remaining 1 HP starts fading. The wizard takes the dragon’s flesh to create an ochre (heal potion) to cure the knight. With the sage’s help, the wizard finally finishes the potion and delivers it to the knight. “Drink this. It will revive you.” The knight drinks the potion, exhausted. He shows a neutral expression as his health comes back to 2,200 HP.

“Thanks for saving me,” the knight says. “No problem,” the wizard replies. “The sage and I worked hard on the recipe. It might sell well as a healthy snack as well.” “Eh, I don’t know,” the knight says. “The taste was kind of meaty ochre.”


107. What did the tired dragon make for dinner?

Flamin yawned.



108. What do you call a dragon without its silver?

Dr\_ \_on


109. Why don’t you want to listen to a dragon’s story?

Because they tend to drag-on


110. What’s the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?

Hanukkah’s last eight nights, and dragons last ate knights.


111. Long ago in a faraway land,

A hero comes upon a village. The villagers all look very upset, so the hero asks what happened. “There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it comes down and eats one of our virgin girls” one of the villagers replies. The hero then promises to help with their predicament and gets to work. In three weeks’ time, the dragon starved to death.


112. What does a tattoo of a dragon squeak when you eat it?

Halloumi Rapace


113. A couple of hikers were tramping through the countryside and had lost their way… by the time they arrived at the “George and Dragon”, the village pub where they’d arranged to stay the night, the doors were locked and the owners had gone to bed. They knocked timidly on the front door.

A head appeared …at an upstairs window and shouted, “Go away. Don’t you know what time it is? We’re closed,” and the window slammed shut. Undeterred, the hikers knocked again. “What is it now?” demanded the head. “Could we speak to George this time please?” asked the hikers.


114. Once there was a dragon slayer named Nick…..Nick was a wealthy man, due to the fact that there were many dragons around the kingdom that required killing. The king of the land used to pay a great price for every dragon killed. But Nick had a deep secret, he had a massive desire to sleep with the queen, even if it was just for a night.One day while getting drunk, he revealed his inner desire to his friend Horace. Now, Horace was the king’s most trusted minister and all he desired was gold. So he made a deal with Nick, saying that he would give Nick an opportunity to sleep with the queen and in return he wanted 1000 gold coins. Nick agreed to this deal. The next day while the queen was taking a bath, Horace went to the room where the queen’s clothes were laid out and put some itching powder in her bra. The queen started itching and wailing in agony and the king promised a hefty reward to any man who can put an end to the pain. Now Horace had given Nick the antidote, told him to put it on his tongue and lick away. Nick showed up in the King’s court and said that he could cure her if he had a few hours alone with her, the king had no other choice but to agree. Nick had his fun and the queen was healed. The king rewarded Nick quite handsomely and sent him on his way.

The next day, Horace showed up at Nick’s doorstep demanding the gold coins he was promised, but Nick wasn’t willing to pay up saying that Horace could do nothing or else both of them would be in serious trouble. Horace warned Nick of dire consequences but to no avail.The next day, while the king was taking a bath, Horace placed some itching powder in the King’s underwear.


115. After meeting with my Japanese friend in Tokyo I went to a local bar. I bought some sake. And some more. And was it vodka? Or martini. Definitely something with L in the name. And some sake.

I saw other patrons turned into pigs, a bartender dragon flying around and a guy turning into a polluted river in the bathhouse. I was very much spirited away.


116. How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one but it takes 15 episodes.


117. A woman takes her car to a mechanic and says “my car is making a horrible noise”

The mechanic replied, “have you tried removing that Imagine Dragons CD?”


118. Why are dragon plushies soft and cuddly?

They aren’t scale models.


119. What do furries and weeaboos have in common?

They both like dragon balls.


120. I recently came up with a pirate-themed tabletop RPG, but then the makers of Dungeons and Dragons found out.

They sent me a seas-and-d6 letter.


121. Dungeons and Dragons is a lot like Bitcoin

I know it’s popular but I don’t understand it


122. “Grandma, have you seen my LSD?”

Grandma replies “Fuck the LSD, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!”


123. Have you ever seen…I’ve been saving these to send to my grandsons. The more the merrier – feel free to add your own.

A horse *fly*? A goldfish *bowl*? A shoe *box*? A floor *mop*? A cat *fish*? A spelling *bee*? A chimney *sweep*? A chicken *strip*? A monkey *shine? A brain *wave*? An ant *farm*? A wrestling *match*? A banana *split*? A job *hunt*? A car *hop*? A dragon *fly*? A hammer *throw*? A salad *bowl*? A beer *mug*? A picket *fence*? A ginger *snap*? A square *dance*? A house *fly*? A bear *hug*? A diamond *mine*?


124. A Balrog and a Dragon enter a pub

The Balrog says: Damnit, my fiery nature caused all the alcohol to catch aflame!


125. The Dragon pirks up and says: 

What?! Are you telling me this rubble used to be a pub?!


126. Why do dragons sleep all day?

So they can fight knights!


127. Donald Trump is walking along a beach

He stumbles over an old bottle, he picks it up and pulls the cork. With a flash of light and a puff of smoke a Genie appears before him. “Thank you Donald for releasing me from my prison, I shall grant you any 1 wish” Trump immediately blurts out “I want a Dragon like from game of thrones so I can fly around the world and rule”The Genie apologizes and explains that Dragons are fictional and he can not create a fictional creature, it’s simply not within his power. Trump then nods and says softly, “Please just let everyone on the planet love and adore me”The Genie Nods and says “Righto, what color Dragon do you want?”


128. This underrated Jimmy Carr joke: Two dragons walk into a pub; one says to the other, “it’s hot in here.”

The other dragon replies, “Oh yeah? Shut your mouth.”


129. How do you ruin a dragon’s birthday party?

Tell him to blow out the candles on his cake.


130. Why do dragons never finish anything on time?

Because they like to drag on and on.


131. A Dungeons and Dragons Joke about the most fearsome of foes: Furniture

The barkeep asked why we carried weapons into his bar.

I said ‘Mimics.’ The party laughed. The barkeep laughed. The table laughed. We killed the table. Good times.


132. History is a lot like Imagine Dragons…

It’s repetitive, never really good, and somehow only getting worse.


133. Why did the yellow dragon keep slipping?

Banana for scale.


134. What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?

One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh!


135. A leprechaun, a walking tree, and a dragon walk into a bar

I should quit drinking


136. How do you milk a Dragon?

By making 3 movies and a couple TV series about it.


137. Crouching tiger, hidden dragon.

It wasn’t a great day at the zoo.


138. What did the komodo dragon mumma say to her hatchling?

You were a snaccident!


139. Cannot get milk for my coffee, in space.

Once their Crew Dragon craft made it safely to space, and they were headed toward the International Space Station, Bob Behnken completed some reports and then decided to have a cup of coffee. Well, a pouch of coffee anyway. Still, it was coffee, and thanks to SpaceX’s desire to make space travel more comfortable, it would even be hot coffee. Bob liked his coffee with a little sugar and a splash of milk.

He was able to find the small sugar-syrup packet, and put it in his coffee. However, he could not find any milk packets that would connect to his coffee pouch. Bob knew that, since they did not feel the effects of Earth’s gravity while in space, he had to be careful to not let any milk get out while trying to transfer it to his coffee, since it could float away and short out circuitry.

Bob turned to his fellow astronaut, Doug Hurley, and said, “back on Earth, we had these packets of milk that we could use for our coffee. But now, I cannot find a packet of milk that can connect to the coffee pouch!” Doug had already noticed the same problem and had figured out a solution. He tosses a different packet over to Bob, and says “in space no one can. Hear, use cream.”1


140. A Scotsman was competing in the highland games…

Carothers had a few pints after the caber toss and wanted to take a nap before all the dancing started. So he headed out to the woods and found a nice meadow to take a wee snooze.

Two young and beautiful lasses were picking flowers in the meadow when they stumbled upon him. Being curious one of the ladies said to the others “wonder if what they say is true, that Scotsman don’t wear anything under their kilt?” The other class was more adventurous and decided to take a peak. Their suspicions were true as his twig and berries sat right in the middle of his red bush. The first class said ‘ it’d be awfully rude to gander at his manhood and not let him know.” So the other lady pulled a blue ribbon from her hair and gently tied it to his pecker. Carothers woke up and made it back to the festivities when it hit him that he needed to drain the dragon. He started relieving himself at the communal latrine when another Scotsman joined him. The Scotsman glanced over and exclaimed, “aye mate, I’m not sure what competitions you entered but it looks like you won 1st prize!”


141. Who is Gordon Ramsay’s least favorite Dragon Ball character?



142. Noah! Noah! The Unicorns are playing with the dragon eggs and won’t get on the ark!

Noah, “come help me with these squirrels, we’ll get to them later.”


143. Disappointed that the purchased LSD has no effect,

Ivan sat on his dragon and flew away.


144. What happens when a dragon gets bored of strip steaks?

Flaming Yawn


145. How do you synthesize/summarize Dragon Ball into one word?



146. Why were dragons called rappers during ancient times?

Because they used to spit fire.


147. They say acid is a gateway drug.

But good luck getting to the fridge when there’s a fucking dragon guarding it!


148. My dragon is asleep

He’s drag off


149. Elon Musk is reported to have written a short joke on his Crew Dragon rocket

I guess the real joke will be in the comets.

150. I want to make a really long, bad lizard joke…

But I don’t want to let it dragon.


151. Why do dragons like knights?

They come with their own pans.


152. Why do dragons make good accountants?

The economies of scale


153. What’s the most common reptile found in your toilet?

Commodo dragon…


154. What do you call a drummer who can’t play in time?

A Russian dragon.


155. Early one morning, you pull down your favorite cup, only to find a small dragon, curled up and sleeping contentedly inside.

Confused and still half asleep you take the cup outside to empty the dragon carefully onto the grass, then return to rinse your cup and make coffee. The next morning he is back, curled snuggly inside the cup as before and you repeat the process.

After a week of repeating this process you make him a little bed complete with whatever pocket change you have left over from the day to give him a little treasure hoard, he is ecstatic with his new treasure. but nevertheless every morning when you go for your coffee there he is; snuggled up inside the small cup.

Another few days pass and when you start sorting through several intimidating, dragon names before finally deciding to call him Folgers; after all, the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.


156. How do you get dragon milk?

Find a cow with no back legs


157. Why did the guy who made Dragons Fucking Cars pick cars instead of castles?

They’re impenetrable


158. I asked my karate instructor if I’d ever be able to do a dragon punch.

He said, “Suuuure You Can!”


159. What happens when you try to crossbreed a turtle and a dragon?

You get a crushed turtle.


160. A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town.

The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze. Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths, and a mahogany bar with brass rails, polished to a shine, they went up to the bar and asked for a room.

“Rooms cost £20 per night, we don’t accept euros, and you must be out by 7am tomorrow, or else you pay for both days.” “Alright then, could I get something to eat -“”Kitchen closed at 6, and I am not going back there until 11am tomorrow, no matter what you say. Anything else?” “Yes, could I please talk to George?”


161. How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?

They let bagons be bagons


162. The reptile race

There was an exotic pet race to take place. Adam brought an iguana. “He’s big and fast so he’s sure to win!” Daniel brought a komodo dragon. “He can go really fast when there’s a treat for him at the end!” John brought a leopard gecko. “Hes small but does his best!”

The bets were placed, the race took place and John’s leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say: “Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko”


163. After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature…

Because I’m Dragon Ass


164. The only reason the dinosaurs lived longer than dragons,

was due to the fact that they never smoked!


165. Yesterday, I was telling a bedtime fantastical story to my little son. 

The story kept dragon-on and on and on!


166. Dragons prefer a particular variety of shampoo.

They always prefer Head and Smolders!


167. If you ever give presents to a dragon it usually responds by saying,

“Fangs a lot”.


168. Do you like pop music, like Imagine Dragons?

Well, imagine dragon these nuts across your chin.


169. The dragon got hit by a truck and was taken to the hospital where he was discharged, after a couple of bandages were put on him. 

He is now a wrapped-tile!


170. A dragon’s favorite European food dish is?

Swiss charred meat!


171. My friend, who is an architect, bought a large number of model dragons and took them to work.

It was not until his seniors told him that he realized that one such model dragon was not to scale!


172. I have often been named as a dragon by my colleagues.

They say that I have been dragging my body from home to the office day in and day out!


173. A dragon is frequently seen spitting fire on a map,

as he plans on setting fire to the whole world!


174. Dragons are extremely good guitarists,

because they really know all the scales!


175. When the little dragon was asking for candy and not getting it, 

his elder brother asked him, “Wyv-ern?”


176. Dragons don’t usually take time in making vacation plans.

his elder brother asked him, “Wyv-ern?”


177. Dragons particularly like eating cakes and pastries.

Their favorite kind of cake is a lair cake!


178. The dragon got extremely upset when a particular song got stuck in his ear.

It was such an earwyrm!


179. Dragons are excellent investment bankers

as they can very easily swing the scales in their favor.


180. The dragon became a hugely successful rapper.

Because he always spits fire!


181. Why did the stylish dragon walk the fashion ramp wearing traditional Japanese clothes?

Because he was a Kimono Dragon!


182. How long should one be patient for a green dragon?

You should be waiting until it ripens!


183. Why was the little dragon angry on his birthday?

He kept trying yet he could not blow out his birthday candles!


184. What’s worse than a dragon speaking to you?

The amount of money you have to spend on therapy after that.


185. Which species of animal wears slippers, is gigantic, and has scales?

A cinder dragon!


186. What did the mother dragon say when she saw her child dragon eating ice cream?

She said that it melts her heart.


187. What do you call a dragon who loves to perform classical dances?

A Balerion!


188. What do you call a dragon which is devoid of any silver?

A dron!


189. Which sport do dragons play at the end, if they start a game of ice hockey?

Water Polo.


190. What is the best way to stop a bad dragon joke?

You don’t let it drag-on for a long time.


191. What did the father dragon tell his son dragon when he saw a knight charging towards him?

For today’s dinner, we will have tinned food!


192. Why are dragons generally known to practice Sabbath?

Because they only prey on weak knights!!


193. Why do dragons love hoarding silver, jewels, and gold?

Because cash is extremely flammable!


194. What did the dragon breathe fire inside the house?

To light-up the house when the power went out.


195. Which parenting book does expecting dragon moms read?

How To Train Your Dragon!


196. Knock knock. Who’s there? Dragon. Dragon who?

Dragon today, and I could really use a nap.


197. Knock, knock! Who is out there? Dragon! Dragon who?

Dragon your toes again?



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