“One Chewsday, my friend who is an architect bought a large number of model dragons and took them to work.”
“It was not until his seniors told him that he realized that one such model dragon was not to scale!”
“The whole world is now afraid the stylish Kimono dragon will spit fire on the map and we will all melt like ice.”
Best Dragon Jokes and Puns
Without dragging on, here is our breathing fire collection of dragon jokes and puns to keep in your treasure hoard. From ‘dragon fruit,’ the scariest fruit to ‘fire crackers’ –dragon’s favorite food, we trust our jokes won’t burn out.
1. How do dragons measure earthquakes?
2. Why don’t dragons like knights?
3. What do dragons sing when cooking?
4. Why do dragons live in tall buildings?
5. Why are dragons great music teachers?
6. Did you hear about the dragon that stole the king’s crown?
7. Why did the snake think it was a dragon?
8. What did the dragon eat after going to the dentist?
9. Why didn’t the dragon go back to work?
10. Why did the knight befriend the dragon?
11. What do dragons do for fun?
12. Why did the dragon hoard treasure when it was young?
13. What is a dragon’s favorite TV show?
14. Why didn’t the ice dragon have any friends?
15. What is the scariest type of fruit?
16. Why are dragons bad teachers?
17. What do you get if you’re bit by an ice dragon?
18. How do you know if a dragon is excited?
19. Why didn’t the dragon go outside?
20. What do you get if you cross a dragon with an insect?
21. What do you call a dragon that chucks fire balls at people?
22. Why don’t dragons use cutlery?
23. What is a dragon’s favorite toy?
24. What meal do dragons order from McDonald’s that tries to fight the dragon?
25. What do you get if you cross a car with a dragon?
26. What do you get if you cross a dragon and a race-car?
27. Where do dragons go for a manicure and massage?
28. What kind of fly breathes fire?
29. What is the nicest dragon Pokémon?
30. What road do dragons travel on?
31. Why do dragons cover themselves in gold?
32. What is a dragon’s favorite band?
33. Why do dragons eat chefs after they’ve been on TV?
34. What do you get if you cross royalty with a dragon?
35. Why did the dragon set a barbie doll on fire?
36. Why did the dragon win the talent show?
37. Why do dragons keep knight’s swords?
38. What is a dragon’s favorite food?
39. Why were there no dragons at the concert?
40. What does a dragon call a bus full of people?
41. Why were there spears sticking out of the dragon?
42. Why are dragons bad parents?
43. Why was the dragon ill?
44. What do dragons say when their eggs hatch?
45. What do you call a loud dragon?
46. Why was the dragon’s school built on the clouds?
47. Why did the dragon love the wizard?
48. Why did the French dragon eat a pony before dinner?
49. Why didn’t the dragon eat the knight in shining armor?
50. What do you call a dragon that has been impaled with spears and loves to sing?
51. What dragon is always on the toilet?
52. What do you call a boring dragon?
53. What is a dragon’s favorite game?
54. Why were the dragon and the lion friends?
55. Why was the dragon tired?
56. Why did Hiccup’s dragon go to the dentist?
57. Why did the dragon throw the T-Rex into the air?
58. What book did the Viking read when his dragon set his house on fire?
59. What holiday do dragons love?
60. Where do dragons book their holidays?
61. What kind of stories do dragons like to tell?
62. Where do ice dragons go on holiday?
63. What is a dragon’s favorite day of the week?
64. Why was fire oozing off the dragon?
65. Why was the dragon always angry?
66. Why did the dragon keep making mistakes at home?
67. How does a dragon speed read?
68. Why did the dragon dress in straw and cable?
69. Why didn’t the dragon regret eating the knight?
70. What dragon is the best secret agent?
71. Why was Smaug the dragon kicked out of school?
72. Why did the dragon go to the barber?
73. Did you hear about the great stone dragon?
74. Why did the princess go to a heavy metal concert?
75. What did the dragon get after eating firecrackers?
76. How did the dragon kidnap the princess?
77. How can you tell a dragon egg apart from a regular egg?
78. What dragon Pokémon is nocturnal?\
79. Why do dragons love setting things alight on bonfire night?
80. Why don’t dragons go on adventures?
81. Why didn’t the dragon like small creatures?
82. What do dragons study in school?
83. How high can dragons count?
84. Why didn’t the dragon like snakes?
85. What do you call a dragon wearing a Japanese dress?
86. What is the difference between a dragon and a car?
87. What type of baths do dragons take?
88. What is the difference between a dragon and a car?
89. What is a dragon’s favorite chocolate bar from the wild west?
90. How did the dragon get into the highest room of the tallest tower?
91. Why did the dragon keep knights on lances?
92. Why do dragons bathe in volcanoes?
93. How do you ground a dragon?
94. What band is also a dragon’s favorite meal?
95. What dragon do you find at the end of a story?
96. Why did the dragon set the people alight?
97. What do dragons do on holiday?
98. Why did the humans wake the sleeping dragon?
99. Why did the dragon chase Bruce Springsteen?
100. What do you call a good-looking dragon?
101. What’s Donkey’s favorite movie?
102. Why do January 6 deniers never last very long in Dungeons & Dragons campaigns?
103. My niece told me this joke: What’s the difference between Chanukah and a dragon?
104. Did you hear about the very old dragon?
105. [joke about Minecraft] Why can’t the Ender Dragon read a book?
106. A knight and a wizard encounter a dragon. Near the end of the battle, the dragon breathes fire at the knight, taking 2,199 of his 2,200 HP. The wizard uses 10 of his last 15 MP and deals 200 damage. The dragon, only having 199 HP left, dies and the knight and wizard are victorious. The knight’s remaining 1 HP starts fading. The wizard takes the dragon’s flesh to create an ochre (heal potion) to cure the knight. With the sage’s help, the wizard finally finishes the potion and delivers it to the knight. “Drink this. It will revive you.” The knight drinks the potion, exhausted. He shows a neutral expression as his health comes back to 2,200 HP.
107. What did the tired dragon make for dinner?
108. What do you call a dragon without its silver?
109. Why don’t you want to listen to a dragon’s story?
110. What’s the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
111. Long ago in a faraway land,
112. What does a tattoo of a dragon squeak when you eat it?
113. A couple of hikers were tramping through the countryside and had lost their way…..so by the time they arrived at the “George and Dragon”, the village pub where they’d arranged to stay the night, the doors were locked and the owners had gone to bed. They knocked timidly on the front door.
114. Once there was a dragon slayer named Nick…..Nick was a wealthy man, due to the fact that there were many dragons around the kingdom that required killing. The king of the land used to pay a great price for every dragon killed. But Nick had a deep secret, he had a massive desire to sleep with the queen, even if it was just for a night.One day while getting drunk, he revealed his inner desire to his friend Horace. Now, Horace was the king’s most trusted minister and all he desired was gold. So he made a deal with Nick, saying that he would give Nick an opportunity to sleep with the queen and in return he wanted 1000 gold coins. Nick agreed to this deal. The next day while the queen was taking a bath, Horace went to the room where the queen’s clothes were laid out and put some itching powder in her bra. The queen started itching and wailing in agony and the king promised a hefty reward to any man who can put an end to the pain. Now Horace had given Nick the antidote, told him to put it on his tongue and lick away. Nick showed up in the King’s court and said that he could cure her if he had a few hours alone with her, the king had no other choice but to agree. Nick had his fun and the queen was healed. The king rewarded Nick quite handsomely and sent him on his way.
115. After meeting with my Japanese friend in Tokyo I went to a local bar. I bought some sake. And some more. And was it vodka? Or martini. Definitely something with L in the name. And some sake.
116. How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
117. A woman takes her car to a mechanic and says “my car is making a horrible noise”
118. Why are dragon plushies soft and cuddly?
119. What do furries and weeaboos have in common?
120. I recently came up with a pirate-themed tabletop RPG, but then the makers of Dungeons and Dragons found out.
121. Dungeons and Dragons is a lot like Bitcoin
122. “Grandma, have you seen my LSD?”
123. Have you ever seen…I’ve been saving these to send to my grandsons. The more the merrier – feel free to add your own.
124. A Balrog and a Dragon enter a pub
125. The Dragon pirks up and says:
126. Why do dragons sleep all day?
127. Donald Trump is walking along a beach
128. This underrated Jimmy Carr joke: Two dragons walk into a pub; one says to the other, “it’s hot in here.”
129. How do you ruin a dragon’s birthday party?
130. Why do dragons never finish anything on time?
131. A Dungeons and Dragons Joke about the most fearsome of foes: Furniture
The barkeep asked why we carried weapons into his bar.
132. History is a lot like Imagine Dragons…
133. Why did the yellow dragon keep slipping?
134. What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?
135. A leprechaun, a walking tree, and a dragon walk into a bar
136. How do you milk a Dragon?
137. Crouching tiger, hidden dragon.
138. What did the komodo dragon mumma say to her hatchling?
139. Cannot get milk for my coffee, in space.
Once their Crew Dragon craft made it safely to space, and they were headed toward the International Space Station, Bob Behnken completed some reports and then decided to have a cup of coffee. Well, a pouch of coffee anyway. Still, it was coffee, and thanks to SpaceX’s desire to make space travel more comfortable, it would even be hot coffee. Bob liked his coffee with a little sugar and a splash of milk.
He was able to find the small sugar-syrup packet, and put it in his coffee. However, he could not find any milk packets that would connect to his coffee pouch. Bob knew that, since they did not feel the effects of Earth’s gravity while in space, he had to be careful to not let any milk get out while trying to transfer it to his coffee, since it could float away and short out circuitry.
140. A Scotsman was competing in the highland games…
Carothers had a few pints after the caber toss and wanted to take a nap before all the dancing started. So he headed out to the woods and found a nice meadow to take a wee snooze.
141. Who is Gordon Ramsay’s least favorite Dragon Ball character?
142. Noah! Noah! The Unicorns are playing with the dragon eggs and won’t get on the ark!
143. Disappointed that the purchased LSD has no effect,
144. What happens when a dragon gets bored of strip steaks?
145. How do you synthesize/summarize Dragon Ball into one word?
146. Why were dragons called rappers during ancient times?
147. They say acid is a gateway drug.
148. My dragon is asleep
149. Elon Musk is reported to have written a short joke on his Crew Dragon rocket
150. I want to make a really long, bad lizard joke…
151. Why do dragons like knights?
152. Why do dragons make good accountants?
153. What’s the most common reptile found in your toilet?
154. What do you call a drummer who can’t play in time?
155. Early one morning, you pull down your favorite cup, only to find a small dragon, curled up and sleeping contentedly inside.
Confused and still half asleep you take the cup outside to empty the dragon carefully onto the grass, then return to rinse your cup and make coffee. The next morning he is back, curled snuggly inside the cup as before and you repeat the process.
After a week of repeating this process you make him a little bed complete with whatever pocket change you have left over from the day to give him a little treasure hoard, he is ecstatic with his new treasure. but nevertheless every morning when you go for your coffee there he is; snuggled up inside the small cup.
156. How do you get dragon milk?
157. Why did the guy who made Dragons Fucking Cars pick cars instead of castles?
158. I asked my karate instructor if I’d ever be able to do a dragon punch.
159. What happens when you try to crossbreed a turtle and a dragon?
160. A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town.
The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze. Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths, and a mahogany bar with brass rails, polished to a shine, they went up to the bar and asked for a room.
161. How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?
162. The reptile race
There was an exotic pet race to take place. Adam brought an iguana. “He’s big and fast so he’s sure to win!” Daniel brought a komodo dragon. “He can go really fast when there’s a treat for him at the end!” John brought a leopard gecko. “Hes small but does his best!”
163. After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature…
164. The only reason the dinosaurs lived longer than dragons,
165. Yesterday, I was telling a bedtime fantastical story to my little son.
166. Dragons prefer a particular variety of shampoo.
167. If you ever give presents to a dragon it usually responds by saying,
168. Do you like pop music, like Imagine Dragons?
169. The dragon got hit by a truck and was taken to the hospital where he was discharged, after a couple of bandages were put on him.
170. A dragon’s favorite European food dish is?
171. My friend, who is an architect, bought a large number of model dragons and took them to work.
172. I have often been named as a dragon by my colleagues.
173. A dragon is frequently seen spitting fire on a map,
174. Dragons are extremely good guitarists,
175. When the little dragon was asking for candy and not getting it,
176. Dragons don’t usually take time in making vacation plans.
177. Dragons particularly like eating cakes and pastries.
178. The dragon got extremely upset when a particular song got stuck in his ear.
179. Dragons are excellent investment bankers
180. The dragon became a hugely successful rapper.
181. Why did the stylish dragon walk the fashion ramp wearing traditional Japanese clothes?
182. How long should one be patient for a green dragon?
183. Why was the little dragon angry on his birthday?
184. What’s worse than a dragon speaking to you?
185. Which species of animal wears slippers, is gigantic, and has scales?
186. What did the mother dragon say when she saw her child dragon eating ice cream?
187. What do you call a dragon who loves to perform classical dances?
188. What do you call a dragon which is devoid of any silver?
189. Which sport do dragons play at the end, if they start a game of ice hockey?
190. What is the best way to stop a bad dragon joke?
191. What did the father dragon tell his son dragon when he saw a knight charging towards him?
192. Why are dragons generally known to practice Sabbath?
193. Why do dragons love hoarding silver, jewels, and gold?
194. What did the dragon breathe fire inside the house?
195. Which parenting book does expecting dragon moms read?
196. Knock knock. Who’s there? Dragon. Dragon who?
197. Knock, knock! Who is out there? Dragon! Dragon who?