190+ Funniest Goodnight Jokes and Puns

After a long tiresome day of work, we all deserve to go to bed with a big smile. But did you know your last words towards bedtime can either make or ruin the remaining part of the night? Sharing sleep jokes will calm your soul and ensure a good rest.

Since we all love a peaceful night full of sweet dreams, here is a collection of funny goodnight jokes and puns to say to your family and friend before bedtime.

Funnies Goodnight Jokes and Puns

Remember, saying goodnight is not only a way to end your day but also a way of showing your loved ones they are still in your thoughts. Just don’t sleep off these jokes!

1. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

Good night and sweet dreams!


2. I’m afraid to sleep alone, buddy. Could you sing a lullaby for me?

I’m sure your singing will scare all the ghosts away from my house.


3. Good night and sleep well!

I hope you have dreams as sweet as I am!


4. Dear friend, as your sole well-wisher, I want to inform you that you’re gonna regret playing games all night so much tomorrow.

Please sleep!


5. The sun is red, the sky is blue, I cannot stay happy without disturbing you.

Goodnight my love.


6. Hey you, don’t hit the ‘Next episode’ button on Netflix anymore and give your eyes some rest!

Hope you fall asleep and drift to dreamland soon!


7. Good night! Please don’t show up in my dream;

I don’t want a nightmare tonight.


8. Dear friend, I absolutely refuse to listen to your ranting about your lack of sleep tomorrow so don’t be annoying and sleep on time!



9. Now 4.7 million people are going to sleep, 2.5 million are dreaming, 1.3 million are watching TV.

But one cute heartie’s reading my sweet jokes, good night!


10. Buddy, you better go to sleep, or I’ll tattle that you stayed up all night watching Netflix if you’re late for class tomorrow.

But one cute heartie’s reading my sweet jokes, good night!


11. Don’t waste thinking about your lost past, Don’t waste time planning your future.

Better kill some mosquitoes with that time So that you can sleep better. Good Night


12. You are my best friend but I’m not going to stay up listening to you rant about,

Your insomnia


13. Good night my darling, if you see a nightmare tonight, do not call me. I need to sleep.

It’s time to do your favorite thing in the world, mate. It’s time to go to bed and sleep


14. Sleeping is the only thing you’re good at besides breathing,

so good night.


15. Twinkle, twinkle little star. How do I wonder where you are? Up above the sky so high, where you are, I wish you were mine. Twinkle, twinkle little star. Can I keep you near or far?

Goodnight my little shining star.


16. May tomorrow be finally the day you win at life.

Sleep well!


17. Saying good night is not a formality or due to a free message.

It’s the art of saying that I remember you in “My last minute of the Day”! Good Night.


18. Good night! 

May you be safe from the ghost under your bed!


19. Sleeping on my keyboard.

If I answer, I’m talking in my sleep. Good night!


20. Good night sweetheart! Don’t look at the window at night. Also, don’t look under the bed.

There may be something! Just kidding! Have a sweet dream my love!


21. Sun wouldn’t be red, Sea wouldn’t be blue,

I wouldn’t be happy, Without disturbing you! Good Night!


22. If you feel lonely don’t worry.

I am here to disturb you all the time. Now sleep well. Good night dear. Have a wonderful scary dream!


23. As the thief was leaving the house, the child woke up and said to the thief,

“Take my school bag also, or else I’ll wake up my mum”. Good Night!


24. When I say GOOD night, I actually want you to be a GOOD boy at night. So don’t think about any girl except God made me an SMS to reach you in Seconds. 

Cost you nothing, you will read me and I could see you smiling, which is worth millions for me!!! Good night and smile for me! pt me. Good night handsome.


25. Snuggle in tight and wait for me.

I can’t wait to come to wrap my arms around you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Good night!


26. The quietness of this beautiful night reminds me of you.

How can I sleep peacefully tonight without disturbing you?


27. Sending you my bed to let you rest, pillows to comfort you, and my blanket to keep you warm. 

I can’t sleep now because I don’t have a bed! Good Night!


28. Have a good night.

Be wary of bed bugs hiding beneath your bed.


29. Sleep in peace tonight,

God is bigger than anything you will face tomorrow. Good Night!


30. You’ve seen enough of the cruel world

so better close your eyes already.


31. People sleep peaceably in their beds at night

only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. Good night!


32. Let the most beautiful dream come to you tonight.

Let the sweetest person come in your dream tonight but don’t make it a habit, Because I’m not free every night, Good Night!


33. The bed bugs are gone and the boogeyman has gone away.

All that’s left is just you and me. Let’s close our peepers and get to sleepers!


34. The only way I can guarantee you a sweet dream is by dreaming about me. So, what are you waiting for? Sleep tight!

All that’s left is just you and me. Let’s close our peepers and get to sleepers!


35. Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked? Or with pajamazon?

All that’s left is just you and me. Let’s close our peepers and get to sleepers!


36. Send me a text if a nightmare kicks in and you cannot sleep at night.

I will be your guardian angel no worries. Have a great time sleeping, dear.


37. Woke up the other day with a puzzled look on my face.

Had fallen asleep on my crossword.


38. Nothing can take your valuable place in my life except a good night’s sleep. 

Had fallen asleep on my crossword.


39. Why do dragons often sleep during the day?

So they can fight knights.


40. Thinking about your mode activated! Missing you in progress!

If you are awake, reply to deactivate thinking mode. Good night!


41. Why do clowns wear loud socks?

To stop their feet from falling asleep.


42. Good night. Do not feel lonely while going to sleep tonight.

You have the boogeyman under your bed keeping you company.


43. What dinosaur makes the most noise when he is asleep?



44. I am so good at sleeping.

I can do it with my eyes closed.


45. Good night, and drool well.

I’d say sleep well, but you sleep less and drool more.


46. Taller people sleep,

longer in bed.


47. The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people.

Of course, the bad people enjoy waking hours much more. Good night!


48. Why do keyboards never sleep?

Because they have two shifts.


49. Do you know why we close our eyes? When we pray, when we cry, when we dream? 

Because the most beautiful things in life are unseen and felt by the heart only, Goodnight my love.

50. Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs.

“Just five minutes more.”


51. Welcome to Sweet Dreams airlines. 

We’ll be shortly arriving at Dreamland. Fasten blankets, puff the pillow, close your eyes and get ready to doze off! Good Night!


52. If there is a king and queen-size mattress, where does the prince sleep?

On the heir mattress.


53. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ123456789*# Thank God all the keypads are ok…

Oh, anyway…Good Night!


54. I couldn’t figure out why I haven’t been sleeping all night.

And then it dawned on me.


55. I would message you good night but it’s not a good night yet because if it was a good night, 

I would be sleeping already and not messaging you.


56. What do you call making up for lost sleep?



57. I’m awake, so you should talk to me;

I ban you from sleeping until I can’t. Wake up.


58. I would love to be paid to sleep.

It would be my dream job.


59. Baby, you must be tired from looking so handsome all day, 

so why don’t you take a break and get some good sleep? Good Night to you!


60. What does the gingerbread man sleep on?

Cookie sheets.


61. Darling, you must sleep early and get up on time so the sun doesn’t shine brighter than you!

Sweet dreams, love!


62. The urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just

a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.


63. Text me if you have a nightmare, 

I will send my special angels to take care of you.


64. A sumo wrestler once came to visit and ended up sleeping on my couch for a month.

It left a negative impression.


65. The night seems to be pretty boring so let’s have a date! 

Get into your pajamas, lie down on your bed and meet me in your dreams!


66. What do you call a sleeping cow?

A bulldozer.


67. Hey handsome, even though I’m the prettier one in our relationship,

you have to take care of yourself too! Off to bed right now!


68. If you notice cows sleeping in a field, 

does that mean it’s pasture bedtime?


69. Babe, if you don’t go to bed right now, no hugs for you tomorrow!

So be a good boy and have a tight sleep! Good night to you!


70. What do you call it when a kid is fighting going to sleep?

Resisting a rest.


71. I love you very much, but that doesn’t mean I will stay up all night just to talk to you.

You rocket


72. Just bought a sleeping bag for $30.

No idea how to wake it up though.


73. Hi babe, I’m talking to you, well just wanted to say goodnight and I love you, do not cuddle the pillows, 

I’m right over here in my house oops!


74. Where do books sleep?

Under their covers.


75. Sleep tight without worry, my love.

I will protect you from the ghosts under your bed.


76. My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed.

Jokes on him, I sleep in a real car.


77. Hey babe, you’re the prettiest girl in the world in my eyes but I don’t want you to get dark circles around your eyes! 

Sleep tight love!


78. I like to sleep with a bedside lamp on.

My boyfriend says it’s weird.


79. I don’t know why, 

but it makes a great hat.


80. My angel, your cold empty bed is whining loudly because the pillows cannot fall asleep without you.

Please join them soon and have sweet dreams!


81. The patient said to the anesthesiologist,

“Can I put myself to sleep?”


82. Anesthesiologist: 

“Knock yourself out!”


83. Thinking about me all day must be pretty tiring for you,

so why don’t we meet in the dreamland, honey? Good night to you!


84. I know someone who was habitually late until his doctor recommended sleeping in a herb garden.

Sounds odd, I know, but now he wakes up on thyme.


85. Good night to you, sweetheart! 

I guess sleeping in your bed is as comfortable as falling asleep in my arms or else I’m coming over!


86. Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on.

Not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.


87. Only thing that is more important to me is my sleep,

so I am going to bed. Good night.


88. What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin’ B. Anthony!


89. Baby, I can hear your mind exploding with stress from here,

so switch off your brain for the day and go to sleep already! Sweet dreams, my love!


90. I’m so tired,

my tired is tired.


91. Sleepy text from a sleepy boyfriend to a sleepy girlfriend at a sleepy time on a sleepy day,

in a sleepy mood to say sleep tight my dear goodnight.


92. There was a kidnapping at school today.

It’s okay though, he woke up.


93. Feel free to let your toes peek out from under the covers. No boogeyman will dare to come out with me right beside you. Bed bugs? 

Not with me around. Sleep well, my lovely!


94. Buddy, days are for working, eating, and enjoying yourselves while nights are specifically for resting purposes. So rest yourself and sleep early!

You know you’re getting older when happy hour is a nap.


95. How are you supposed to visit me in my dreamland if you don’t sleep?

I’ll have to meet you there. So go to bed. Now. Good night..


96. I’m afraid to sleep alone, buddy.

Could you sing a lullaby for me? I’m sure your singing will scare all the ghosts away from my house.


97. Where do fish sleep?

On the river bed.


98. What’s the point of sleeping and dreaming 

if you’re not going to see me in your dreams?


99. What’s it called when your feet go to sleep and won’t wake up?


100. Buddy, days are for working, eating, and enjoying yourselves while nights are specifically for resting purposes. So rest yourself and sleep early!



101. Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to close its eyes and go to sleep?

It was pasta bedtime.


102. I blame you for my difficulty sleeping.

Your thoughts don’t let me sleep at night


103. Why did mom always tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

She didn’t want to wake up from the sleeping pills.


104. My friend, I don’t want you to fall asleep during class tomorrow so call it a day and go to sleep!

Good night to you!


105. What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom?

It’s time to sweep.


106. Do you have a bad bed? 

Because you sleep more comfortably in my arms.


107. Why did the little girl take her bike to bed?

Because she didn’t want to walk in her sleep.


108. Is your iPad making you fall asleep?

There’s a nap for that.


109. Why did the little boy hide sugar under his pillow at night?

So he would have sweet dreams.


110. Learning to sleep upside down is often hard for baby bats.

But they soon get the hang of it.


111. Where do burgers sleep?

On a bed of lettuce.


112. The male pig puts everyone to sleep.

You could say he’s quite the boar.


113. Did you hear about the lady who always goes to sleep on a chandelier?

She’s a light sleeper.


114. My partner asked why I put a watch on the bed before going to sleep.

I told her I wanted to wake up on time.


115. When you dream in color, 

is it a pigment of your imagination?


116. What do you get when you eat cookies in bed?

Crummy sleep


117. I went to a gig last night and the band’s guitarist passed out on stage.

He must have rocked himself to sleep.


118. How did the sheep get to sleep?

She counted her friends.


119. I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses last night. My dreams have never been clearer.

My dreams have never been clearer.


120. Sleeping comes so naturally to me.

I could do it with my eyes closed.


121. I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep.

It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.


122. A man stands up to give a toast at his best friend’s wedding

He says “I was told that a wedding toast should only last as long as the groom lasts in bed. So goodnight everyone!”


123. As I was telling my grandfather goodnight over the phone, he proceeded to tell me “the height of conceit.”

Which in his own words: “You know the height of conceit son? A flea floating on his back down a river, sporting a hard-on, yelling ‘OPEN THE DRAWBRIDGE’ “


124. How do cops say goodnight to their kids?



125. How do socks reproduce?

They have socks. goodnight folks


126. What one word really makes a woman open up and want to talk about everything on their mind?



127. What’s worse than a whale with a sore tooth?

Going to kiss your grandmother goodnight and she slips you the tongue.


128. Tucks in shirt*

“Goodnight, shirt.”


129. I don’t know what all the fuss is about the helium shortage…

The helium supply will always be on the rise. THANK YOU GOODNIGHT


130. “Dad, can we go to a haunted house?”

Dad: What’s wrong with the one we live in?

Son: WHAT? Dad: Goodnight son.


131. What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster?



132. My wife says I have a problem with alcohol abuse.

I politely told her I don’t. I managed to stay calm and kiss her goodnight even though I was getting so angry. When she went to bed I punched my bottle of Jack Daniels.


133. I finally got eight hours of sleep.

It took me three days, but whatever.


134. I think my cellmate is gay…

He closes his eyes when I kiss him goodnight.


135. What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?

He goes undercover.


136. How many astronauts have probed Uranus?

Zero… There’s too much gas.


137. To bears, people in sleeping bags are?

soft tacos.


138. I’ve never actually been caught smoking bhang.

But I’m pretty sure my parents know sober people don’t give goodnight handshakes.


139. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillowcases?

They’re really making headlines.


140. My wife can’t wrestle..

But you should see her box.


141. Fighting Couple

A married couple were fighting. Deciding it was time to go to bed, the husband says, “Goodnight, mother of six!” to which she replies “Goodnight father of two!”


142. Sleep is for the weak

So I’m going to bed, goodnight


143. What’s a shark’s least favorite name?



144. So I have my Alexa set up to tell me a joke when I say goodnight. Last night it told me that joke…and I can’t work it out?! 

I have searched for it online, and other people have searched for it but no one has seemed to find out what it means.


145. Am I being stupid and missing something obvious? 

Did I have a half asleep fever-dream and imagine this non-joke?


146. What is an old person’s favorite flavor of gum?



147. Why did Satan cross the road?

Because his mum is gay, thank you and goodnight.


148. A guy and a girl are set up on a blind date…… despite some apprehension they both hit it off and agree to a second date.

Date two comes and there’s even more fireworks, ending with a kiss goodnight. Finally, a third date comes and at the end she invites him inside to spend the night. As they’re fooling around, she says If we’re going to go to bed together, there’s probably something you should know. When I was a little girl I was in an accident and I lost both my feet, so both my feet are prosthetics. Slightly taken aback, the guy says I’m really sorry, I like you a lot. But if that’s the case we can’t be together. Obviously very upset, she asks Why?! Are you a bigot or something?! No he replies I’m lack-toes intolerant.


149. Present tense of cloud?’

As I was saying goodnight to my 10-year-old son this evening he said: I saw a bunch of clouds while we were out hiking today. I wonder which one holds my data…I groaned as I closed his bedroom door. He’ll make a great dad someday!

150. They say if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life…

And they’re absolutely correct because the only thing I love is not working. I hate my job…. goodnight


151. Throughout the day you were in my thoughts, 

now it’s your turn for me to be in your thoughts throughout the night. Good night friend!


152. May the darkness of the night fill your dreams! Sleep tight and good night!

Sleep tight and good night!


153. Don’t accept cheap good night messages, only receive messages from the original and authorized dealer for good night wishes.

Good night and Sweet dreams!


154. I don’t have the energy to talk; this text is more than enough.

See you tomorrow. Good night!


155. For you to have a sweet dream all you have to do is,

think about me!


156. This message is full of hugs and kisses.

Hold it tight to receive. Wishing you a sweet night, Good night!


157. I wish I could be the stars. I would watch over you as you sleep.

May your dreams come true! I wish you a peaceful night


158. Night is a time to rest and relax. Do not spend time thinking about tomorrow!

Just go to the world of dreams in peace. Good night!


159. I just had a nightmare, I saw you being kidnapped, I chased the kidnappers but could not get hold of them.

Checking if you are safe! I wish you a good night that is free of nightmares!


160. Do not sleep so tight until you can’t hear.

When I was at your house earlier I saw bed bugs. Be on the lookout. Goodnight my friend.


161. May you have the best dream ever, and let the person you love most come into your dreams,

but don’t make it a priority for me to be in your dreams each night. Good Night!


162. I think my night will be longer than usual, therefore saying my good morning in advance,

Good night my friend.


163. The darker the night, the sweeter the dreams!

Good night!


164. Don’t fall asleep if you want to keep your dreams awake.

Good night to you!


165. What do you call a snoozing dinosaur?

A dino-snore!


166. Sleeping eight hours is not healthy for you,

you only need 3 hours. Wishing you the best dreams, sleep tight!


167. What’s the sleepiest food?



168. What do scuba divers always wear in bed?

A snore-kel!


169. What did Bruce Wayne’s Mum hang over his bed?

A bat mobile!


170. What do you call a snoozing dinosaur sleepy friend?

A stega-snore-us!


171. What do you call a sleeping woodcutter?

A slumber-jack!


172. Why did the nurse tiptoe past the medicine cupboard?

She didn’t want to wake up from the sleeping pills!


173. How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket!


174. Which bit of art equipment makes you tired?

A craYAWN!


175. Why did the man keep running around his bed?

To catch up on his sleep!


176. What do you call a really sleepy egg?



177. What do you get when you cross a rooster with a duck?

A bird that wakes up at the quack of dawn!


178. How is it possible to go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?

You sleep at night!


179. What should you do if you find a dinosaur sleeping in your bed?

Find somewhere else to sleep!


180. Why did the little boy take a ruler to bed with him?

To see how long he slept!


181. Which part of the car is the sleepiest?

The wheels, because they’re always tired!


182. Which animal sleeps with its shoes on?


183. Why do worms hate getting up in the morning?

Because the early bird catches the worm!


184. What’s another word for a sleeping bag?

A nap-sack!


185. I got paid for being part of a study at a sleep clinic last night…

It was my dream job!


186. What does a Mummy cow read to a baby cow before bed?

Dairy tales!


187. Did you hear about the parents who called their baby ‘coffee?’

It kept them up all night!


188. “Doctor, I can’t get to sleep at night.”

“Lie on the edge of the bed – you’ll soon drop off!”


189. Did you hear about the little girl who was sent to prison for not going to sleep last night?

She was charged with resisting arrest!


190. Did you hear about the girl who was dreaming that she was eating a giant marshmallow?

She woke up and her pillow was gone!


191. I was offered a day job at a mattress factory,

but I told them I had to sleep on it!


192. ““Doctor, how can I stop my sleepwalking?”

“Easy, just put drawing pins on the bedroom floor.”


193. Did you hear about the man who kept hearing a mouse squeaking at night?

He got up and tried to oil it!


194. Did you hear about the boy who slept with his head underneath his pillow?

When he woke up, the tooth fairy had taken all his teeth!



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