200+ Funniest Pumpkin Jokes and Puns

Are you armed this Fall with pumpkin puns to step up your squash goals? If not, we got you covered! For your annual Halloween-themed celebrations and family activities of painting and carving pumpkins, we have an endless list of punny pumpkin jokes and puns to use as captions on your pumpkin portrait.’

Want to be around the vast production of pumpkins? Take an autumn tour to Morton, Illinois the pumpkin capital of the world. The festivities don’t stop at carving pumpkins you can spice things up with some family-friendly pumpkin jokes.

Funniest Pumpkin Jokes and Puns

Twist the scary season into a silly month wrapped with pumpkin puns to make your Halloween festival less spooky. Rather than surprising your neighbors with the trick-or-treat sweet delicacies, switch it up by bringing a big smile on their faces with a basket full of hilarious pumpkin jokes and puns.

1. Why was Cinderella bad at football?

Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.


2. Let’s (pumpkin),

spice things up!


3. How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?

On vine-yl.


4. You struck

a gourd with me.


5. Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful?

Because he’s empty-headed.


6. We have nothing but

gourd intentions


7. Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?

A candle makes them bright.


8. I’m on the rind



9. What did the pumpkins say at happy hour?

Let’s get smashed


10. Get the latest

scoop here!


11. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?



12. The pumpkin of,

my pie


13. How did the jack-o’-lantern quit smoking?

The pumpkin patch.


14. I only have pies

for you


15. What did the queasy pumpkin say?

I don’t feel so gourd.


16. Time to patch some



17. What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?

The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly


18. Let the gourd times



19. Why was the gourd so gossip-y?

To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.


20. Don’t go(urd)

breaking my heart


21. Why did everyone think the Jack-o-Lantern was evil?

It had a wicked candle inside it


22. Jack of?

all lanterns


23. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?

Your teeth


24. Dang,

you’re jacked!


25. Where do pumpkins like to live?

In the seedy part of town.


26. Carved out

sometime today.


27. A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?”

The jack-o’-lantern says “I don’t have the guts.”


28. How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?

Apply the pumpkin patch.


29. Gourd



30. Let’s pumpkin spice things up

Me + PSL = Squash Goals


31. Gourdness



32. I know a latte pumpkin

spice puns.


33. Gourd out

of town!


34. I only drink pumpkin spice —

just call me a basic witch.


35. Baby gourd



36. Everyone just wants to have a gourd time


37. Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?

To make them even more basic.


38. What’s cooking,

gourd looking?


39. Which English pop singer is most popular during Thanksgiving holiday?

Pumpkin Spice


40. Gourd luck



41. What is your Blood type?

Pumpkin Spice.


42. Be of gourd



43. Pumpkin Spice and everything nice

Gourd vibes only


44. Life is gourd when

it’s pumpkin spice season!


45. Unless it’s pumpkin spice,

I don’t give a frappe


46. Say,

hollow to my little friend


47. We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil.

It’s for Autumn Mobiles


48. Day out with my gang,



49. He was latte,

as he had to pick up a pumpkin spice on his way.

50. Feeling



51. The latte was madly in love;

he felt like there was Pumpkin in the air.


52. Won the pumpkin carving contest,

feeling like a hallow queen.


53. Latte went to the store and bought ‘Pumpkin Else’ by the Kinks,

latte’s favorite music album.


54. Currently, vibing to

‘Is their pumpkin I should know.’


55. Latte exclaimed, “Oh my gourd”

when he met pumpkin pie at the Halloween party.


56. Everyone was avoiding latte because?

Pumpkin spiced up the story and talked behind his back.


57. Drop a pumpkin squash and

get pumped up for fall.


58. The latte complimented his girlfriend. As a reply, she winked and said:

“Tell me, pumpkin, I don’t know.”


59. Grooving to,

‘Pumpkin to die for.’


60. You are the Pumpkin in

my pie


61. Hey orange you pumped for Halloween?

Fall season on fleek, oh my gourd!


62. Dear gourd,

go big or gourd home.


63. Have a gourd time this,

Halloween season.


64. ‘Pumpkin for the rest of us’ 

is my jam for this Halloween season.


65. Pumpkin spices who like sugary beverages

love to drink pumpkin spice lattes.


66. Keep calm and,

carve Jack-O-Lanterns.


67. All the gourd-geous pumpkins need to know,

a latte love surrounds you.


68. I am way too ahead of the carve 

for Halloween.


69. Wearing a pumpkin carver cut dress. 



70. Beauty is in the pie

of the beholder


71. Feeling fa-boo-lous,

wearing these pumpkin patches.


72. A latte fuss over



73. Pumpkins are an Autumn



74. I love pumpkins so much 

I can feel it in my vines


75. The bigger the pumpkin is, 

the harder it will Fall.


76. Feeling plump-kin in this,

pumpkin Halloween outfit.


77. Let’s lay this pumpkin to



78. Time to get fall ready with

pumpkin spice latte.


79. Feeling jacked up with these

Jack-O-Lantern costumes.


80. When in doubt,

gourd it out.


81. Feeling like I might be

a pun king.


82. Pumpkin in the air, 

it’s that time of the year again.


83. “It’s the Great Pumpkin! He’s rising out of the pumpkin patch!” — Linus,

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown


84. I’m ahead of the carve.

Let’s (pumpkin) spice things up!

You struck a gourd with me

We have nothing but gourd intentions. We have nothing but gourd intentions


85. “Sometimes I think that ideas float through the atmosphere like huge squishy pumpkins waiting for 

heads to drop on.” — Neil Gaiman


86. How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern?

Use a pumpkin patch.


87. What do you call an athletic pumpkin?

A jock o’ lantern


88. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?

Oh my gord!


89. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin pi


90. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?

You look a little sick.


91. “I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself,

than be crowded on a velvet cushion.” —Henry David Thoreau


92. When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say?

I’m vine, thanks!


93. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.


94. What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy?

A mushy romance.


95. Why do pumpkins do so bad in school?

Because they had all their brains scooped out.


96. Where do pumpkins hold meetings?

The gourdroom


97. What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?

You’ll get autumn’y ache


98. What did one Pumpkin say to the other?

Happy Hollowing!


99. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?

100. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?

A life-gourd.


101. I’m a bit of a

country pumpkin.


102. What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun?

Go bungee gourd jumping


103. Slipped on a pumpkin.

It caught me off gourd.


104. What are gourds afraid of?

Things that go Pumpkin the night.


105. I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts.

It was an Ouija gourd.


106. What’s black, white, orange and waddles?

A penguin carrying a pumpkin.


107. Welcome to the

pun-kin patch!


108. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?

Good-pie everyone.


109. Gourd of

the rings.


110. What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver?

Cut it out.


111. I’ve been pumpkin iron

at the gym


112. What do you call a fat Jack-o-Lantern?

A plumpkin.


113. There’s a big difference between yoga

and pie-lattes.


114. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?

Use apples, instead


115. What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?

Oh, My Gourd!


116. Why is Halloween a hillbilly’s favorite holiday?

Because they like pumpkin.


117. What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack’olantern?

Pumpkin pie!


118. How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?



119. Did you hear about the sailor that was turned into a pumpkin pie?

He’s now a squashbuckling pirate


120. Why did the skeleton carve the pumpkin?



121. We’re carving out some leisure time.

Piece out.


122. The best that money can



123. Pie love spending time with you.

Pie beg to differ!


124. You occu-pie my thoughts.

Happy Hollow-ween!


125. Pumpkin Spice season is finally here!

Better latte than never.


126. I just came up with Trump’s inauguration drink. I call it, “Make America Smashed Again”

It’s a White Russian with pumpkin spice.


127. What do you call death by a massive pumpkin falling on your head?

gourd to death


128. My brother and I work together at a gas station, filling cars

I now call him pump-kin.


129. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?

Oh my gord!


130. Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin…

Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November.


131. Did y’all hear about the state gourd of Alabama?

The pump-kin…


132. Overheard at Starbucks:

Man: Would you like to try a pumpkin spice latte?

Woman: No. Since Trump came on the scene I am boycotting everything orange.


133. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch


134. What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They’re orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.


135. I saw a beautiful pumpkin today…

It was gourdeous.


136. Center for Disease Control: overconsumption of beta-carotene linked to dangerous rise in pH of blood

In other words, pumpkin spice lattes make you basic.


137. What do rednecks do on Halloween?



138. What do you get when you divide 355 jack 0’lanterns by 113 jack olanterns?

Pumpkin pie


139. What do Mountain folk do on Halloween?



140. What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka?

A sorority


141. The difference between sex and pumpkin carving?

In pumpkin carving, one is trying to get all of the seeds out.


142. How do people from Arkansas celebrate Halloween?

They pumpkin!


143. A 900-kilogram pumpkin fell on a local man today.

Reports say he was squashed.


144. I created a robot that serves me pumpkin spice lattes…

Naturally, I coded in BASIC


145. Why is Halloween a hillbilly’s favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.


146. An elderly gent was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.”

The old man hung his head. “I have to tell you the truth,” he said, “Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I’m scared to death to ask her what it is!”


147. So I’m dating this girl, called magnesium hydroxide. She likes fairy lights, nickelback and pumpkin spiced lattes…

Yeah she is pretty basic.”


148. What’s Alabama’s favorite vegetable?



149. I think my mirror is broken


150. Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?

To make them even more basic.


151. Why was Cinderella so bad at tennis?

Because her coach was a pumpkin


152. Did you know that Starbucks can make your teeth whiter?

Enough pumpkin spiced latte will make anything whiter


153. Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?

He’s a squashbuckling pirate


154. A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?”

The jack-o’-lantern says “I don’t have the guts.”


155. Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with LSD and it exploded

That’s what happens when you mix acid and basic


156. In honor of both Halloween and the release of documents on JFK’s assassination

I decided to carve a pumpkin that looks like JFK’s widow. It’s my first Jackie O’Lantern.


157. This is getting ridiculous..

Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.


158. What did the white girl say when she found out pumpkin spice lattes were considered basic?

“My whole life is a lye!”


159. What’d the farmer say when he accidentally squashed his pumpkin?

Oh my gord.


160. Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?

Except pumpkin spice because it’s so basic


161. What’s the most popular holiday dessert in Alabama?

Pump-kin pie.


162. How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?

Apply the pumpkin patch.


163. What is the state fruit of Arkansas?



164. Yo momma’s so fat

If she were a spice girl, she would be pumpkin spice.


165. .. my sister told me onions are the only vegetable that make you cry

…so I threw a pumpkin at her head. She soon changed her mind


166. It was a chilly day of spring when I answered the door to a child holding a plastic pumpkin by the handle.

“Trick or treat!” “A little late on that one you reckon? Halloween was months ago” “It was? Sorry, I’m Internet Explorer”


167. What’s the only vegetable you can inflate?

A Pump-kin


168. Why does a redditor carve a pumpkin?

To distract himself from the fact that he is too, just a lifeless round object putting on a fake smile when another person is near.


169. What do you call carving a pumpkin in September?

Premature ejackolantern


170. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?

Pulp fiction.


171. Who helped the mini pumpkin cross the road?

The crossing gourd.


172. Why did the pumpkin take a detour?

To avoid a seedy part of town.


173. What did George Strait say to the pumpkin?

I’m Here for a Gourd Time.


174. What does a carved pumpkin celebrate?



175. “What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun?

Go bungee gourd jumping.


176. “What do you call a barking pumpkin?

A gourd dog.


177. “What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?

Michael Gourdan.”


178. What do you call a group of pumpkin besties?



179. Why do pumpkins perform so poorly in school?

Because they had all their brains scooped out.


180. Where does a pumpkin preach?

From the pulp-it.


181. How did the winter squash pay for things?

With pumpkin bread!


182. What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?

The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly


183. What’s orange and faster than a speeding train?

Super pumpkin!


184. What do surfers say on Halloween?

Gourd vibes only, bro.


185. What kind of gourd grows on trees?



186. Who is the leader of all pumpkins?

The pump-king!


187. What did the gardener say when all of his squash went missing?

Something pumpkin is going on here!


188. What did the pumpkin pie say after a big meal?

That was filling!


189. Why were two pumpkins so close together?

They had deep roots!


190. Why did the pumpkin turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!


191. Who did the pumpkin run away from?


192. What do pumpkins eat at the cinema?

Pulp corn!


193.  What day of the week do pumpkins dread the most?



194. Why couldn’t Cinderella use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?

Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!


195. Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?

So she could hide in the pumpkin patch!


196. Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin?



197. Why did the pumpkin cross the road?

Because it fell off the wagon!


198. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite drink?

Orange squash


199. What is orange and goes choo-choo?

A pumpkin train-ing!


200. I have seeds, but I’m not a watermelon. I can be made into a pie, but I’m not an apple. I can be carved, but I’m not roast beef. I’m orange, but I’m not orange. I’m associated with a patch, but I’m not an eye. What am I?

A pumpkin!


201. What kind of animal loves pumpkins?





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