Are you armed this Fall with pumpkin puns to step up your squash goals? If not, we got you covered! For your annual Halloween-themed celebrations and family activities of painting and carving pumpkins, we have an endless list of punny pumpkin jokes and puns to use as captions on your pumpkin portrait.’
Want to be around the vast production of pumpkins? Take an autumn tour to Morton, Illinois the pumpkin capital of the world. The festivities don’t stop at carving pumpkins you can spice things up with some family-friendly pumpkin jokes.
Funniest Pumpkin Jokes and Puns
Twist the scary season into a silly month wrapped with pumpkin puns to make your Halloween festival less spooky. Rather than surprising your neighbors with the trick-or-treat sweet delicacies, switch it up by bringing a big smile on their faces with a basket full of hilarious pumpkin jokes and puns.
1. Why was Cinderella bad at football?
2. Let’s (pumpkin),
3. How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?
4. You struck
5. Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful?
6. We have nothing but
7. Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?
8. I’m on the rind
9. What did the pumpkins say at happy hour?
10. Get the latest
11. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
12. The pumpkin of,
13. How did the jack-o’-lantern quit smoking?
14. I only have pies
15. What did the queasy pumpkin say?
16. Time to patch some
17. What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?
18. Let the gourd times
19. Why was the gourd so gossip-y?
20. Don’t go(urd)
21. Why did everyone think the Jack-o-Lantern was evil?
22. Jack of?
23. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
24. Dang,
25. Where do pumpkins like to live?
26. Carved out
27. A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?”
28. How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?
29. Gourd
30. Let’s pumpkin spice things up
31. Gourdness
32. I know a latte pumpkin
33. Gourd out
34. I only drink pumpkin spice —
35. Baby gourd
36. Everyone just wants to have a gourd time
37. Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?
38. What’s cooking,
39. Which English pop singer is most popular during Thanksgiving holiday?
40. Gourd luck
41. What is your Blood type?
42. Be of gourd
43. Pumpkin Spice and everything nice
44. Life is gourd when
45. Unless it’s pumpkin spice,
46. Say,
47. We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil.
48. Day out with my gang,
49. He was latte,
50. Feeling
51. The latte was madly in love;
52. Won the pumpkin carving contest,
53. Latte went to the store and bought ‘Pumpkin Else’ by the Kinks,
54. Currently, vibing to
55. Latte exclaimed, “Oh my gourd”
56. Everyone was avoiding latte because?
57. Drop a pumpkin squash and
58. The latte complimented his girlfriend. As a reply, she winked and said:
59. Grooving to,
60. You are the Pumpkin in
61. Hey orange you pumped for Halloween?
62. Dear gourd,
63. Have a gourd time this,
64. ‘Pumpkin for the rest of us’
65. Pumpkin spices who like sugary beverages
66. Keep calm and,
67. All the gourd-geous pumpkins need to know,
68. I am way too ahead of the carve
69. Wearing a pumpkin carver cut dress.
70. Beauty is in the pie
71. Feeling fa-boo-lous,
72. A latte fuss over
73. Pumpkins are an Autumn
74. I love pumpkins so much
75. The bigger the pumpkin is,
76. Feeling plump-kin in this,
77. Let’s lay this pumpkin to
78. Time to get fall ready with
79. Feeling jacked up with these
80. When in doubt,
81. Feeling like I might be
82. Pumpkin in the air,
83. “It’s the Great Pumpkin! He’s rising out of the pumpkin patch!” — Linus,
84. I’m ahead of the carve.
Let’s (pumpkin) spice things up!
You struck a gourd with me
85. “Sometimes I think that ideas float through the atmosphere like huge squishy pumpkins waiting for
86. How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern?
87. What do you call an athletic pumpkin?
88. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?
89. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
90. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
91. “I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself,
92. When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say?
93. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
94. What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy?
95. Why do pumpkins do so bad in school?
96. Where do pumpkins hold meetings?
97. What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
98. What did one Pumpkin say to the other?
99. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?
100. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
101. I’m a bit of a
102. What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun?
103. Slipped on a pumpkin.
104. What are gourds afraid of?
105. I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts.
106. What’s black, white, orange and waddles?
107. Welcome to the
108. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?
109. Gourd of
110. What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver?
111. I’ve been pumpkin iron
112. What do you call a fat Jack-o-Lantern?
113. There’s a big difference between yoga
114. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
115. What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?
116. Why is Halloween a hillbilly’s favorite holiday?
117. What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack’olantern?
118. How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?
119. Did you hear about the sailor that was turned into a pumpkin pie?
120. Why did the skeleton carve the pumpkin?
121. We’re carving out some leisure time.
122. The best that money can
123. Pie love spending time with you.
124. You occu-pie my thoughts.
125. Pumpkin Spice season is finally here!
126. I just came up with Trump’s inauguration drink. I call it, “Make America Smashed Again”
127. What do you call death by a massive pumpkin falling on your head?
128. My brother and I work together at a gas station, filling cars
129. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?
130. Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin…
131. Did y’all hear about the state gourd of Alabama?
132. Overheard at Starbucks:
Man: Would you like to try a pumpkin spice latte?
133. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
134. What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?
135. I saw a beautiful pumpkin today…
136. Center for Disease Control: overconsumption of beta-carotene linked to dangerous rise in pH of blood
137. What do rednecks do on Halloween?
138. What do you get when you divide 355 jack 0’lanterns by 113 jack olanterns?
139. What do Mountain folk do on Halloween?
140. What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka?
141. The difference between sex and pumpkin carving?
142. How do people from Arkansas celebrate Halloween?
143. A 900-kilogram pumpkin fell on a local man today.
144. I created a robot that serves me pumpkin spice lattes…
145. Why is Halloween a hillbilly’s favorite holiday?
146. An elderly gent was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.”
147. So I’m dating this girl, called magnesium hydroxide. She likes fairy lights, nickelback and pumpkin spiced lattes…
148. What’s Alabama’s favorite vegetable?
149. I think my mirror is broken
150. Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?
151. Why was Cinderella so bad at tennis?
152. Did you know that Starbucks can make your teeth whiter?
153. Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?
154. A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?”
155. Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with LSD and it exploded
156. In honor of both Halloween and the release of documents on JFK’s assassination
157. This is getting ridiculous..
158. What did the white girl say when she found out pumpkin spice lattes were considered basic?
159. What’d the farmer say when he accidentally squashed his pumpkin?
160. Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?
161. What’s the most popular holiday dessert in Alabama?
162. How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?
163. What is the state fruit of Arkansas?
164. Yo momma’s so fat
165. .. my sister told me onions are the only vegetable that make you cry
166. It was a chilly day of spring when I answered the door to a child holding a plastic pumpkin by the handle.
167. What’s the only vegetable you can inflate?
168. Why does a redditor carve a pumpkin?
169. What do you call carving a pumpkin in September?
170. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?
171. Who helped the mini pumpkin cross the road?
172. Why did the pumpkin take a detour?
173. What did George Strait say to the pumpkin?
174. What does a carved pumpkin celebrate?
175. “What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun?
176. “What do you call a barking pumpkin?
177. “What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?
178. What do you call a group of pumpkin besties?
179. Why do pumpkins perform so poorly in school?
180. Where does a pumpkin preach?
181. How did the winter squash pay for things?
182. What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?
183. What’s orange and faster than a speeding train?
184. What do surfers say on Halloween?
185. What kind of gourd grows on trees?
186. Who is the leader of all pumpkins?
187. What did the gardener say when all of his squash went missing?
188. What did the pumpkin pie say after a big meal?
189. Why were two pumpkins so close together?
190. Why did the pumpkin turn red?
191. Who did the pumpkin run away from?
192. What do pumpkins eat at the cinema?
193. What day of the week do pumpkins dread the most?
194. Why couldn’t Cinderella use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
195. Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?
196. Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin?
197. Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
198. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite drink?
199. What is orange and goes choo-choo?
200. I have seeds, but I’m not a watermelon. I can be made into a pie, but I’m not an apple. I can be carved, but I’m not roast beef. I’m orange, but I’m not orange. I’m associated with a patch, but I’m not an eye. What am I?
201. What kind of animal loves pumpkins?