230+ Best Witch Jokes and Puns

Behind the scary witches on ma- scare- a are their fascinating abilities, from flying on broomsticks to casting magic spells.

If you love reading wizard-like stories like the Harry Potter series, Salem, Merlin e.t.c., you definitely understand how the wizarding world works. With vivid descriptions, it is easy for you to crack witch jokes.

Best Witch Jokes

And yes, we understand that brewing jokes to crack could be challenging, but we are here to step in. Witch your family and friends a happy Halloween by cracking jokes and spelling out subtle puns with aid from our collection.

With our top hilarious witch jokes and puns, you are assured to cast a spell of giggles.

1. How do you make a witch scratch?

By taking away the ‘w’.


2. Who turns the lights off on Halloween?

The light’s witch.


3. What do you call witches who live together?



4. What do you learn in witch school?



5. What do you call a nervous witch?

A twitch.


6. What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?

She flew off the handle.


7. Why couldn’t the little witch read her spellbook?

It was written in curse-ive.


8. What kind of jewelry do witches wear?

Charm bracelets.


9. What do witches in Australia ride?



10. Why are witches good at farming?

Because they love occult-ivation.


11. What is a witch’s favorite TV show?

Game of crones.


12. How do witches play loud music?

On their broom boxes.


13. The problem with twin witches is?

that you never know witch is which.


14. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It’s time to go sweep.


15. A witch with chickenpox is?

called an itchy-witchy.


16. How do you find out if a witch is carrying a bomb?

You hear her brooms tick.


17. Hey witches, it’s time to trick or?

treat yo’self.


18. Why did the witch put her broomstick inside the washing machine?

She wanted a clean sweep.


19. What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?

Witchful thinking.


20. Witches love to go to the mountains because?

they love witch-hiking


21. How did the witch tell her friends that she was pregnant?

She told them she had a bun in the coven.


22. Witches get sore joints because?

they have broom-atism.


23. What happens to witches who break the school rules?

They get ex-spelled.


24. Witches can smell brew from far away because?

they have a very keen sense of spell.


25. What did the witch say to her victim while she was waiting?

Bewitcha in a minute!


26. Witch way to the brew?

You are brewtiful.!


27. Who’s a witch’s favorite movie director?

Steven Spellberg


28. What does the little witch use to bake her birthday cake?

The easy bake coven.


29. How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?

“Voodoo like to ride with me.”


30. Happy Halloween, witches!



31. What did one broomstick say to the other?

“Did you hear the new dirt?”


32. So thankful that

all these witches have coven-to my life.


33. Why did the witch’s team lose the cricket game?

Their bats flew away.


34. You’re the one that

I wand!


35. What do witches’ cats like to have for breakfast?

Mice crispies.


36. You know it’s true – everything I brew,

I brew it for you.


37. The best place to search for information about witches is?



38. Why was the witch so excited to decorate her cauldron?

Her favorite hobby is witch craft.


39. A witch tells the time by?

looking at her witch watch.


40. A keen sense of?



41. The witch lost her way because of?

Her hat was pointed in the wrong direction.


42. Big girls don’t?



43. Who was the most famous witch detective?

Warlock Holmes.


44. Of curse

you can.


45. I’d say “witch me luck”,

but I don’t need any if these are the witches in my squad.


46. What sign was posted in the witches’ parking lot?

Violators will be toad.


47. Spells like

teen spirit.


48. What is a witch’s favorite ride at the fair?

A scary-go-round.


49. Tastes as good as?

It spells

50. Have you heard about the good weather witch?

She’s only anticipating sunny spells.


51. What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?

A sand-witch.


52. Why do witches not wear a regular hat?

Because there’s no point in it.


53. What is a witch’s favorite makeup?

A ma-scare-a.


54. What did the tired witch do?

She sat down for a spell.


55. What do witches put on their bagels?

Scream cheese.


56. What do a witch and a candle have in common?

They’re both wicked.


57. What did the lost witch ask the wizard?

“Witch way to the Halloween party?”


58. What do you call a fast broomstick?

A vroom-stick.


59. Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?

Because they provided broom service!


60. Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?

That’s the time to sweep.


61. Why did the witch go to the doctor?

She had a dizzy spell.


62. What do you call a witch who keeps crashing her brooms?

A wreckless hag.


63. Why is it good to drink witch’s brew?

It’s very newt-tricious!


64. Why are black cats very good singers?

They’re mewsical.


65. What dessert did the witch give her cat?



66. Why was the broom late?

It over swept.


67. Witches always fly on broomsticks because?

they want to make a clean getaway.


68. What do you call a witch’s spotless garage?

A broom closet.


69. Witches don’t fart.

They cast smells.


70. Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?

The witches sweep the sky.


71. Cats prefer wizards to witches because?

sorcerers sometimes have milk in them..


72. Why don’t wizards make their witches mad?

They’ll give them a cold spell.


73. Witches buy pencil sharpeners to?

Keep their hats pointed.


74. Why did the witch’s cat scratch her?

Because he was in a bad mewd.


75. Witches love to travel because they’re filled with wand-erlusts.

Because he was in a bad mewd.


76. Someone who does not become a witch until they’re old is a?

late broomer.


77. Witches always come first at

spelling bee contests.


78. People are scared of witches because of?

their resting witch face.


79. Come witch me to the party.

their resting witch face.


80. Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because?

their favorite hobby is witchcraft.


81. Witching upon a?



82. This is how you party when you’re

witch and famous.


83. Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy?

It was the wicked witch of rest.


84. Wanna hop on?

I’ve got a broom with a view.


85. Knock knock!

– Who’s there?

– Witch.

– Witch who? – Witch way to go home?


86. Who made the yellow slick road slippery?

The wizard of ooze.


87. Knock Knock!

– Who’s there?

– Witch.

– Witch who? – Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?


88. Who’s there?

– Witch!

– Witch who?

-Witch one of you will give me my Halloween candy?


89. You know what they say,

payback’s a witch.


90. I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an 

en-witching experience.


91. Time to spell the beans,

I guess!


92. Check out my

super o-witch-inal costume!


93. Let me make you an offer

you chant refuse.


94. Always

wand-ering around.


95. Why did the warlock had so much trouble with math?

He never knew WITCH equation to use.


96. What do witches put on their hair?

Scare spray.


97. Life’s a witch…

and so am I!


98. Flipping the s-witch this



99. What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?

Rags to witches story.

100. Witch, please!

You’ve got me under your spell.


101. I’m a big fan of

occultural experiences.


102. A witch laughing her head off will go

‘cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’.


103. No charm,

no foul.


104. Witch doctors write their prescriptions

in curse-ive.


105. Brewty is….

in the eye of the beholder.


106. What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?

A cat-alog.


107. Let nature….

take its curse.


108. How do old witches get good bargains?

They hag-gle.


109. What noise do witches’ cereals make?

Snap, cackle, and pop.


110. Where does the witch’s frog sit?

On a toadstool


111. Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch?

He couldn’t spell.


112. What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?



113. Why did the witch take a nap?

She needed to rest a spell.


114. What do witches get when their shoes are too tight?


115. What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts?

I don’t know, but it’s not working.


116. How did the witch get around when her broomstick broke?

She witch-hiked.


117. What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch.


118. What do the fastest witches use to get around?



119. What do you call a witch who is pretty and friendly?

A failure.


120. What game do witches play on Halloween?

Hide and ghost seek.


121. What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

Every time she sneezed she blew her hat off.


122. What did the witch call the skeleton who didn’t work?

Lazy bones.


123. How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea?

Out of flying saucers.


124. What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?

She witch-hiked.


125. What did one witch say to the other when she was offered a lift?

There’s always broom for one more.


126. What does a witch get when she’s in a hotel?

Broom service.


127. Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse?

She kept having Disney spells.


128. What do you call a witch with one leg?



129. Knock knock

Who’s there?


Wanda who? Wanda go on a ride on my broom?


130. What did one witch’s cat say to the other?

You look familiar.


131. Knock, knock

Who’s there?

You know. You know who? Exactly! Avada Kedavra!


132. Witch and …



133. A witch in time

saves nine.


134. Keep calm

and carry a wand.


135. Arts and witchcrafts.

Creepin’ it real.


136. That’s witch-ful..



137. Wanna hop on?

I’ve got a broom with a view.


138. Witch witch

is witch?


139. Why did three witches call in the plumber?

Hubble, bubble, toilet trouble!


140. Keep witch

under your hat.


141. What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

Soon you’ll feel well enough to sit up for a spell.


142. What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime?

Ghoul-di-locks and the Three Scares.


143. What do you call a witch that wins the lottery?

A wrich


144. What’s the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?

You can’t make a broomstick pie.


145. Why do witches fly on brooms?

Vacuum cleaner cords are too short.


146. What happens to witches when it rains?

They get wet just like everyone else!


147. How do you make a witch float?

Root beer, one scoop of ice cream, and one witch.


148. What do you get when you cross a witch’s cat with a canary?

A cat with a full belly.


149. How do witches on broomsticks drink their hot tea?

Very carefully!

150. What is evil, ugly and bounces?

A witch on a pogo broom.


151. When is it bad luck to meet a witch’s cat?

When you’re a mouse.


152. What makes more noise than an angry witch?

Two angry witches!


153. Why did the witch wear green stockings?

Because her gray ones were in the wash.


154. Who was the most famous witch detective?

Warlock Holmes.


155. What did the witch’s daughter want for her birthday?

A haunted dollhouse.


156. Who can go into a witch’s house without getting hurt?

The witch


157. What’s the first thing witches do in the morning?

They wake up.


158. What kind of tests do they give in witch school?



159. What do little witches do after school?

Their gnomework.


160. Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?

That’s the best time to go to sweep.


161. What do monkey ghosts like to eat?



162. What did the teen witch say to her mother?

Can I use the broom tonight?


163. What hobby do witches do in their spare time?



164. What do you call a motorcycle that belongs to a witch?

A brrrooooommmm stick


165. Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?

The bat


166. What is a witch with poison ivy called?

An itchy witchy.


167. What do you get if you cross a witch with a blizzard?

A cold spell


168. Why did the traveling witch throw up?

She was broom sick.


169. What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?

A chicken sand-witch.


170. A small village is home to three witches.

One witch puts up a sign in front of her house reading “Here lives the most powerful witch in the world!” A second witch sees the sign and puts up her own, reading “Here lives the most powerful witch in the universe!” The third witch sees both signs and puts up her own sign reading “Here lives the most powerful witch in the village”.


171. What’s the difference between Daredevil and Scarlet Witch?

One knows how to cope without Vision.


172. Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town…

After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel. The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager: ‘Go upto the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know the difference. The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business. As they are walking home the first man says “You know, I think my girl was dead”. “Dead?” says his friend, “Why do you say that?” Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her.

His friend says. ‘Could be worse I think mine was a witch.’ ‘A witch??….why the hell would you say that?’ ‘Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window… took my teeth with her!’


173. A Christian, a Muslim, and a Witch all die and go to the afterlife.

A Christian, a Muslim, and a Witch of the Norse gods all die and go to the afterlife. They find that, waiting for them at the entrance to the afterlife is Anubis, waiting with a set of scales, with a feather on one side. Above Anubis is a sign, “You wait with your heart, if less than feather-wait, you may enter paradise.”

The Christian takes out his heart from his soul, and sets it on the scales. He stares at Anubis defiantly, “I should pass, I made sure to do what FOX news told me every day.” They tip heavily to the side, and Anubis waves his hand. The Christian’s soul disintegrates instantly. The Muslim takes out his heart from his soul, and sets it on the scales. He looks timidly at Anubis, “I did my best to live a good life, I always gave to the poor…” Although not as heavy as the Christian’s heart, it was weighed down by life. Anubis sadly waved his hand, and the Muslim’s soul disintegrated instantly.The Witch then looked at the scales, looked at the plaque, and checked her watch. About three minutes went by, and Anubis was getting annoyed at her taking too long, and started tapping his foot. She then looks at Anubis and asks, “Has that feather been here long?” Anubis nods, “Yes, left by the god Maat, millennia ago.” She nods, “And how long ago did we arrive here?” Anubis thinks for a moment, “Maybe six minutes?” The witch smiles, and then strides confidently forward, and enters paradise. Anubis sighs, “At least Witches know how to spell.”


174. What happens when a witch breaks the sound barrier?

You hear a sonic broom.


175. A witch was flying on her broom when she noticed that all the witches she passed were flying on vacuum cleaners.

She thought to herself, “Am I the only one who still drives a stick?”


176. What does the wicked witch of west say when cooking eggs and bacon?



177. Why does a witch not wear underwear on Halloween?

So she can get a better grip on her broom


178. Maybe Jesus didn’t like your chocolate?

So aliens come to earth and they’re Sooo nice. There’s a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance. The Pope asks, “Do you know of Jesus Christ?” The aliens say, “Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!” The Pope exclaims, “Every couple of years?? What!!?? We’re still waiting for his second coming!” The alien replies, “Maybe he didn’t like your chocolate?”

The Pope is flabbergasted, “What does chocolate have to do with anything?” The alien says, “Well when he came the first time, we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys give him? 

Unfortunately for that gent, that gent was put on trial the next month. That gent made so many people chuckle.


179. Why are witches never sweaty?

They wear moisture-wiccan clothes


180. What is the most prevalent STI wizards and witches get?

Hog warts.


181. Adam meets a witch

The witch tells him: “Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed”!

Adam: “Sorry, but I don’t find you attractive.”

Witch: “Take that back, or you most surely *will* be cursed!

Adam: “Nope. You’re hideous.”

The witch then transformed him into an ant. Witch: “Look where your rudeness brought you! ” Adam: “Yeah this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato.” Witch: “Very well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!” He is still adamant.


182. So there’s this witch that owns a motel and she’ll give you a discount room if you consent to her experimenting on you…

The sign outside says, “Come on in and rest for a spell”.


183. What were the lion and the witch doing in the wardrobe?

Narnia business


184. Two elderly men

Got wasted drunk one evening and decided to go to a brothel.

The madam seeing how out of it both of them were decided to give them blow up dolls instead of real women.The next day the two old men met up again and started sharing their experiences of the previous night.

The first one went. “I think mine was dead. I moved her, shook her. No reaction whatsoever”. The other guy said. “This is nothing. I’m convinced mine was a witch. In the heat of the moment as we were going at it I bit her ass. She let out a massive fart. Then flew out the window taking my dentures with her.”


185. Why couldn’t the witch have babies?

Because her husband had a hollow weenie.


186. It’s an old one but I think it’s funny.

So, in the summer, I go do some work. I was looking for a job and found house painting. A couple of days after my first day, we were going to paint a fairly big house. We did it with the 3 of us because then the job will be done quicker. One day, one of us fell down the ladder, 3 floors down, and died.. my co-worker said: “dang.. he had a wife and 2 kids.. I mean, now we gotta tell her”. I said “don’t you worry. I’ll go tell her”

A while later, I come back, with a crate of beer. A co-worker, flipped, and told me “what are you thinking, buying beer? You were supposed to bring the bad news to the Smiths!” I responded “I did tell her. Really” He said, “well for what the beer then?” I said “well. I went to his house, knocked on the door and his wife opened the door. I said to her ‘good evening. Are you Widow Smith?’ she goes ‘yeah, my name is Smith, but a Widow? I’m not a widow’ to witch I responded ‘shall we bet on a crate of beer'”?.


187. Why do witches and wizards do well in English class?

They’re really good at spelling


188. Why can’t witches get pregnant

Because their husbands have hollow weenies


189. A witch finishes watching Monsters Inc...

And has an idea. Surely if children’s laughter is more powerful, then orphans crying for joy would make their tears MORE magical! So she teleports outside of a young orphan’s bedroom and slowly enters the room.

Inside, the young child in the bed stirs awake. “Who’s there?” He asks the figure. And smiling, the witch steps closer, announcing to the boy. “You can call me mommy. I’m adopting you!” And the boy IMMEDIATELY starts crying with joy!

The witch then quickly bottled up the single magical tear as it ran down his face. A few hours later, back at the coven, she told her story to the other witches. “And that’s how I was the first witch to get two magical tears from an orphan!” She proudly announced to the coven. One of the other women piped up, calling her out. “Hey, you liar! You told us you got ONE tear from him!” “Oh,” the first witch said. “The other came from when I told him he WASN’T actually adopted.’


190. What do you call a witch that only eats sand?



191. What does a witches car sound like?



192. Why do witch covens have extra bathrooms?

Crone’s Disease


193. What do you call a witch from Texas?

A hexin’ Texan


194. What’s the difference between a magical girl’s comedy sketch and a female dog’s snappy comeback?

One’s a witch’s bit and the other is a bitch’s wit.


195. One day a bottle and a mirror were fighting of witch is worse to break.

“If you break me you get one year of bad luck” said the bottle. “That is just one year. If you break me you get seven years of bad luck” answered the mirror. But someone was laughing behind them. It was the condom who said “That is nothing. If you break me you get a life time of bad luck.”


196. King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease

… and only an old ugly witch can cure him. But the witch demanded a young handsome knight for husband, and Galahad took it for the team and married her. On the night of the wedding, the witch turned into a beautiful woman and offered Galahad the choice, she can be old and ugly during the day, and young and beautiful at night, or vice versa. Galahad told her that he respected her choice over her appearance and she can decide that. 

The witch was pleased, as Galahad knew what a woman wanted the most, is freedom over her body. She told Galahad that she will be a beautiful wife all the time for him. The moral of the story is no matter how good your wife looks, she is still a witch underneath.


197. What do you call a group of witches cooking simple recipes?

An Easy Bake Coven!


198. The madam tells her girls ‘ Just give those guys blow-up dolls.’

‘They’re so wasted they’ll never know the difference. When they’re walking home the first guy says ‘I think mine was dead; She never moved or made a sound the whole time. The second says ‘I think Mine was a witch’ First: ‘really whys is that?’ Second: ”cause when I bit her ass she farted in my face and then flew out the window’


199. How many witch doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Into what??

200. When a leaf and an emo fall from a tree witch one hits the ground first

The leaf hits the ground first, emo just keeps hanging up there


201. What would you call a potion-brewing pig in the desert?

A ham sand witch


202. How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but she’ll change it into a newt.


203. Mike Tyson once tried to fight the Blair Witch right here in Maryland

He swung at her but he myth’d.


204. The worst part about the Salem witch trials.

… having to go door to door to tell neighbors you’re a registered hex offender.


205. How come witches fly solo?

Because there’s no broom left for anyone else.


206. If two witches buy two watches

Which witch would watch which watch?


207. I think my fuse box has a curse on it

Must have been the Mains Witch


208. The Four Witch Covens

There were once four powerful witch covens: the witches of the mountains, the deserts, the forests, and the seas. For a thousand years they made war with one another, casting curses and hexes and bringing all manner of malady to the land in their hatred for one another. One day, they decided the only solution was to convene for a meeting of all the covens, in which they would either strike a deal for peace, or end it all in violent bloodshed.

The sea witches arrived first, carried upon a tidal wave that bore them up and onto the coast, the waters crashing loudly as they struck the shoreline as if to announce their presence.

The mountain witches rode down the hillside upon magical stormclouds, thunder and lightning bursting from their steeds of vapor, a tumultuous blizzard ravaging the mountains in their wake.

The forest witches, shape-shifters, emerged in the form of gnarled roots which encircled the meeting place and rose out of the ground, bending and twisting into humanoid silhouettes from which sprung skin and clothing, as a flurry of leaves swirled around furiously. The sand witches arrived in a catering truck.


209. How does Scarlett Witch relieve Vision’s sexual tension?

Wanda Wacks-him-off.


210. A witch was going through her recent order of newts…

… when her apprentice walked in. Noticing the witches frowning face, she asks “What’s wrong, Master?” The witch replied, “Well, I’ve got some good newts and some bad newts…”


211. Had an encounter with dyslexic witch..

I am safe cause she couldn’t spell.


212. The old king was suspicious of the young queen cheating on him.

So, with the help of a witch, he placed an invisible blade in the Queen’s Hoo-Haw. 3 days later, the King summoned all the men he suspected and ordered them to take of their pants. To the King’s surprise, he found that all their penises had cuts in them from the blade, except for the minister’s penis.

The king immediately ordered the execution of the men. He then turned to the minister and said “Of all the men close to me, you are the only one loyal”. ” You are not just my minister, but my closest friend as well”. The minister was elated and replied with tears in his eyes. “Slankyou my lord”.


213. What do you call a country that’s ruled by a lion, a witch and a wardrobe?

a banarnia republic


214. My friend told me that she wanted to marry a witch doctor

My friend told me that she wanted to marry a witch doctor. I asked her, “Why? What’s the appeal?” She replied, “Pwobabwy the financial secuwity”


215. Did you hear about the witch that was casting spells and driving at the same time?

She turned her car into a tree.


216. I have a Blair Witch fetish….

I want my buddy to stand in the corner and not watch. Happy Halloween!


217. Joe’s cat.

One day joe walks into his living room and sees that his cat has gone into labor, he quickly scoops her up and takes her to the vet. After waiting for around an hour the vet comes out and says “I’m sorry sir but your cat had a miscarriage” Shocked, Joe stands up and says “are you joking!?” to witch the vet replies “no kitten”


218. You know Usain Bolt’s kids are called Thunder and Lightning, right? Well he had another child that got cursed by a witch.

Hex Bolt.


219. Why did the witch from Hansel and Gretel always think she was sick?

She had Munch House-n syndrome


220. An Evil Witch kidnaps some boys…

During a nightly raid of a local village, an evil witch makes away with a few young boys she will use for her potions (hocus pocus style) Upon arriving back at her witch den, she proceeds to cage up the terrified young boys, and begins brewing her evil potion according to her recipe.

Finally, she comes to the end of the recipe, and with an evil laugh, she grabs a boy from the cage and tosses him into the giant boiling cauldron. After many tormenting screams, followed by a moment of silence, the cauldron suddenly bursts and out jumps a now young man in place of the boy. It was clear the potion didn’t go as intended for the witch. The young man then chases after the bewildered witch and proceeds to kill her with his bare hands. As he finally makes his way back to the cage to free the confused young boys, they ask him in astonishment, “what happened to you?” “How did you not die?” “Easy” says the young man, “That witch doesn’t kill you… only makes you stronger”


221. Little man

A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. ” Bartender says, “You want them both now or one at a time? ” The guy says,” Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here,” and he pulls a tiny three-inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks “He can drink? ” “Oh, sure. He can drink. ” So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. “That’s amazing ” says the bartender. Can he walk?

” The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, “Hey, Jake. Go get that. ” The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man. The bartender is in total shock. “That’s amazing. Does he talk? ” The man says “Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch doctor an SOB! “


222. A bard wants to be more powerful and so he strikes a deal with a witch

The witch says she will only grant his wish if he gives her his first born son. The bard laughs and says “sure! Good luck finding him”


223. My Mother-in-law told me she was going to a Witch and Wizard hunt in Manchester

According to my wife, “where are you planning on hiding” wasn’t the correct response.


224. What do witches do in the bathroom?



225.  All the witches be going to KFC tonight

They love some coven-ready chicken.


226. Hermione’s son: Mum, you’re a witch!

Hermione: Emma Watson?


227. All the nurses are dressing up as witches for Halloween!

They will be caretakers.


228. What do you call a witch who can never decide between casting good or bad spells?

A trans-hex-ual.


229. I sexually identify as a Witch Doctor…

I’ll take a little head from anyone.


230. We were having so much bad luck on our cul-de-sac that the HOA thought we had been cursed. They brought in a witch doctor and druid to scribe protective symbols and runes all over the road…

…well, that’s the ward on the street anyway.


231. The Witches just came out.

Glad to see it; especially now that they’ve legalized same-hex marriage.


232. Why did the witch have so many hickies?

She was dating a necromancer.


233. What’s the difference between a witch and a warlock?

The spelling.





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