Undoubtedly, no Thanksgiving is complete without a stuffed turkey on the table. Family members from every corner travel thousands of miles just to celebrate this memorable holiday that unites us all. Here you even get to meet those relatives you only see once a year.
Funniest Thanksgiving Jokes and Puns in 2022 and 2023
But before the pumpkin pie is served, are you armed with Thanksgiving jokes and puns to stuff your family and friends with on a dinner roll? If not, we got you! Some of these puns are fowl, and you might need to bend some table manners rules during Thanksgiving dinner.
1. I was going to serve sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving, but I accidentally sat on them. Now I’m serving squash.
2. What does a disappointed mother turkey tell her kids?
3. What sound does a turkey with one leg make?
4. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
5. What happened when the cannibal showed up late to Thanksgiving dinner?
6. What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving Day?
7. This morning, my wife said she wanted me to help fix Thanksgiving dinner.
8. So this guy checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving.
9. Why was the turkey ruined on Thanksgiving?
10. I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year.
11. How do you win an argument with your family at Thanksgiving this year?
12. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
13. What always comes before a parade on Thanksgiving day?
14. What type of key can never open doors?
15. What would the pilgrims be known for if they were still alive today?
16. Why can’t a turkey eat anything on the last Thursday of November?
17. Why was the Thanksgiving feast extremely expensive?
18. What did the turkey say to the computer when it had to urgently search for something?
19. Why did the pilgrims’ pants always fall?
20. Where can you find a turkey that doesn’t have legs?
21. What is Dracula’s favorite holiday of the year?
22. What will you call a creature who came back bloated from the Thanksgiving feast?
23. What would you say if it rains cats and dogs on the last Thursday of November?
24. How did the pilgrims travel to pursue higher studies?
25. What will you serve at Thanksgiving dinner if you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes?
26. What did the pilgrim call his friends who came with him on Mayflower?
27. What kind of music did the Pilgrims play on the first Thanksgiving day?
28. What pop song do people play on Thanksgivings day?
29. Can a turkey fly higher than an ostrich?
30. What would you call it if someone presents you with a tofu-turkey?
31. When the Pilgrims walked off their boat into the New World, on what did they stand?
32. Where did the Pilgrims first land?
33. I am a key that can fly and gobble. What am I?
34. How can you know the age of a pilgrim?
35. How can you tell which side of the turkey is the left side?
36. What comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
37. If you feel scared on Halloween and jolly on Christmas, what do you feel on Thanksgiving?
38. What face do pilgrims make when they are in pain?
39. If you are carving the turkey with an electric cutter, what kind of batteries does it need when it runs out of power?
40. What did the obstetrician say when Thanksgiving was ready?
41. I can be crushed, baked, carved and you can see me everywhere on Thanksgiving. What am I?
42. What can never, ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
43. How can a turkey end up with three legs, even though it only has two legs?
44. What do jazz-lovers put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
45. What can never be eaten at Thanksgiving dinner?
46. What are turkeys thankful for on Thanksgiving?
47. I am the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook. What am I?
48. Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
49. What is brown, big, and red all over?
50. What does a Pilgrim call his best friend?
51. What do the Pilgrims, Indians, and Puritans have in common?
52. What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
53. What has feathers, is the star of a November feast and goes up and down?
54. What will a turkey, with a dramatic bent of mind, say to another turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
55. Can a turkey jump higher than a house?
56. Teacher: “Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?”
57. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
58. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
59. If April showers bring May flowers, then what do Mayflowers bring?
60. What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
61. If it took three people four hours to roast a turkey, how many hours would it take four people to roast the same turkey?
62. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
63. If four women can bake four pumpkin pies in four hours, how many pies can eight women bake in eight hours?
64. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
65. I have ears but I cannot hear, and I have flakes but no hair. What am I?
66. Father asked Abraham to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for, on Thanksgiving”.
67. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
68. Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
69. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
70. Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
71. If roses are red and violets are blue, what is stuffed, brown, and blue?
72. What sound does a space turkey make?
73. What has feathers and a beak, but is dressed?
74. Daddy asked Little Mandy: “Why can’t you take a turkey to church?”
75. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
76. What do the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
77. They see me rollin’,
78. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
79. Why did the chef refuse to crack an egg?
80. It’s great that my mother-in-law volunteered to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the needy this year.
81. You’re the belle of the
82. Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.
83. Don’t marsh
84. If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch,
85. Feast today,
86. Just thought of a plan that would combine the best elements of pie with the best elements of TV.
87. Why did the cranberry turn red?
88. Most turkeys taste better the day after.
89. What do you call a running turkey?
90. Gearing up for shopping tomorrow.
91. Don’t make Thanksgiving
92. Celebrate Thanksgiving the American way:
93. We’ll worry about the Christmas tree later.
94. The best policy for the ingredients in giblet gravy is
95. Getting the longer part of the wishbone is?
96. You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving
97. Gobble ’
98. Vegetables are a must on a diet.
99. Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy,
100. I hope I don’t get mashed potatoes and gravy on my phone again this year.
100. Why did the turkey cross the road?
101. I’m so stuffed that I feel like a bunch of people in matching outfits
102. Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
103. My wife asked me how to thaw a turkey.
104. What’s a turkey without feathers called?
105. My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving
106. What glass do turkeys drink wine from?
107. Ever notice how you never get laid on Thanksgiving?
108. How does a limping turkey walk?
109. Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year.
110. What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving?
111. For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving,
112. It’s already Thanksgiving again because time flies
113. What type of dessert does a turkey have at the Turkey Day feast?
114. The only ones more stuffed than us on Thanksgiving
115. How do you tell the difference between turkeys and chickens?
116. Why wasn’t the turkey hungry on Thanksgiving?
117. If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
118. If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner,
119. What does a vampire call Thanksgiving?
120. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a millipede?
121. What do selfish people call Thanksgiving?
122. What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die?
123. Stuff your guests with some Thanksgiving puns while waiting for that delicious pumpkin pie.
124. Why did the turkey go to the plastic surgeon right before Thanksgiving?
125. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes,
126. What kind of key has legs but can’t open doors?
127. Let’s get
128. The key to a great Thanksgiving?
129. I just met you, and this is gravy,
130. What dance should everyone do on Thanksgiving?
131. Stop, drop,
132. What do you call a turkey the Friday after Thanksgiving?
133. Let’s give ’em pumpkin’
134. What did the pilgrims use to bake their Thanksgiving desserts?
135. Why didn’t the Thanksgiving band get to perform?
136. I was planning on taking home leftovers,
137. Oh, my gourd,
138. More rolls?
139. Thanksgiving dinner spread always smells
140. Will I eat leftovers for a week?
141. There’s no more gravy left,
142. You think Thanksgiving dinner is done?
143. I like big bundts
144. Thanksgiving has the
146. No more Mr. Nice Pie!
147. You bake the world
148. Hand me the gobble-lets
149. Can you turn on some Plymouth Rock in the background while we do dishes?
150. Let’s give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.
151. Hap-pie Thanksgiving!
152. I’m filling
153. No fowl language is allowed
154. Pie am so grateful for,
155. The poul-tree comes before
156. Feast your eyes on this meal!
157. I have a crust on you!
158. Whip, whip—hooray!
159. Stuffing is the tur-key to my heart.
160. Pour some gravy on me.
161. If you give the turkey coffee,
162. I yam,
163. Will I eat leftovers for a week?
164. I’m riding the gravy train to
165. Much ado about
166. This turkey is thankful for,
167. Feast mode:
168. Don’t let the holidays gobble up
169. I’m on a dinner roll.
170. Eat, drink,
171. Talk turkey to me.
172. Let’s squash
173. I yam,
174. What does stuffing compare to?
175. Friendsgiving is
176. Wine not have another glass?
177. Cheater, cheater,
178. Quit marshing
179. Whip, whip, hooray!
180. Roast assured I’ll be back to work on Monday.
181. Let’s eat
182. We’re feast and furious
183. I yam so grateful.
184. Life doesn’t get any
185. Dinner is in 3 hours.
186. I’m bone to be wild.
187. You want more dessert?
188. A light Thanksgiving dinner is a?
189. Good pie for now.
190. What was the turkey arrested for?
191. This tastes like,
192. What opens a locked door and has legs?
193. Turkey’s in the oven.
194. What role do green beans have during the Thanksgiving play?
195. Let’s ride
196. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
197. Knock knock.
198. Why didn’t the cook season the turkey?
199. Knock knock.
200. What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
201. Knock Knock.
202. “What did the leftover turkey say?”
203. Knock knock.
204. “What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?”
205. “Why didn’t the pilgrim want to make the bread?”
206. “What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving?”
207. “What do you a call the age of a pilgrim?”
208. “Hey I just met you, and this is gravy,
209. “Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?”
210. Will you please stop with the Thanksgiving puns?
211. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Norma Lee.” “Norma Lee who?”
212. I’m never eating Thanksgiving leftovers again. Starting this very moment.
213. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Tamara.” “Tamara who?”
214. Turkeys mesmerize me.
215. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Annie.” “Annie who?”
216. What do we do after Thanksgiving dinner?
217. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Arthur.” “Arthur who?”
218. Why didn’t the parents let the turkey near their children?
219. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Don.” “Don who?”
220. Looking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, a woman thought they were all too small to feed everyone at her large Thanksgiving dinner party. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
221. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
222. Why does everyone pick the sweet potato as their favorite root vegetable?
223. Turkeys aren’t the only birds with hilarious Thanksgiving puns.
224. How do competitors gear up for Thanksgiving dinner?
225. How do you make a turkey float?
226. Why is everyone relieved when the candied yams finally arrive?
227. How Do you fix a broken pumpkin pie?
228. Why was it hard to find the Thanksgiving ham?
229. If your grandma saw you making boxed mashed potatoes,
230. Bread-y or not,
231. What’s Stephen King’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?
232. Why can’t the potatoes and yams get along?
233. What do you call it when you only have hot dogs for Thanksgiving dinner?
234. I want to eat healthier this year, so I’m enjoying more fruits and vegetables.
235. What’s the best whiskey for Thanksgiving?
236. With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what’s likely to be the most popular side dish?
237. What does Miley Cyrus serve for Thanksgiving dinner?
238. What do you call someone who loves corn?
239. What were the lyrics to that Carly Rae Jepson song about Thanksgiving?
240. What did Voltaire eat for Thanksgiving?
241. How does that AC/DC song about Thanksgiving go?