240+ Funniest Thanksgiving Jokes and Puns

Undoubtedly, no Thanksgiving is complete without a stuffed turkey on the table. Family members from every corner travel thousands of miles just to celebrate this memorable holiday that unites us all. Here you even get to meet those relatives you only see once a year.

Funniest Thanksgiving Jokes and Puns in 2022 and 2023

But before the pumpkin pie is served, are you armed with Thanksgiving jokes and puns to stuff your family and friends with on a dinner roll? If not, we got you! Some of these puns are fowl, and you might need to bend some table manners rules during Thanksgiving dinner.

Gobble until you wobble as you enjoy these Thanksgiving puns and jokes. Also, check out these corny Pumpkin jokes to keep the fun going.

1. I was going to serve sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving, but I accidentally sat on them. Now I’m serving squash.

They love seeing them quackle at night.


2. What does a disappointed mother turkey tell her kids?

“If your father could see you now, he’d be rolling over in his gravy!”


3. What sound does a turkey with one leg make?

Wobble, wobble!


4. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?

Only one, but you have to really squeeze him in there.


5. What happened when the cannibal showed up late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He got the cold shoulder.


6. What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving Day?

On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for one day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.


7. This morning, my wife said she wanted me to help fix Thanksgiving dinner.

I said, “Why? Is it broken?”


8. So this guy checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving.

As it turns out, he just couldn’t quit cold turkey.


9. Why was the turkey ruined on Thanksgiving?

I have no idea, but I suspect fowl play.


10. I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year.

Sure scared everyone in the grocery store, though.


11. How do you win an argument with your family at Thanksgiving this year?

Hit the “End Meeting” button.


12. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?

Quack, quack!


13. What always comes before a parade on Thanksgiving day?

The letter ‘p.’


14. What type of key can never open doors?

A tur-key.


15. What would the pilgrims be known for if they were still alive today?

Their age


16. Why can’t a turkey eat anything on the last Thursday of November?

Because it is always stuffed.


17. Why was the Thanksgiving feast extremely expensive?

Because it had 24 carrots.


18. What did the turkey say to the computer when it had to urgently search for something?

Google, google, google.


19. Why did the pilgrims’ pants always fall?

Because the pilgrims used to wear their buckles on their hats.


20. Where can you find a turkey that doesn’t have legs?

On the Thanksgiving dinner table.


21. What is Dracula’s favorite holiday of the year?

It is Fangs-giving day.


22. What will you call a creature who came back bloated from the Thanksgiving feast?

A stuffed animal.


23. What would you say if it rains cats and dogs on the last Thursday of November?

It is fowl weather.


24. How did the pilgrims travel to pursue higher studies?

On scholarships.


25. What will you serve at Thanksgiving dinner if you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes?



26. What did the pilgrim call his friends who came with him on Mayflower?



27. What kind of music did the Pilgrims play on the first Thanksgiving day?

Plymouth rock.


28. What pop song do people play on Thanksgivings day?

‘All about that baste.’


29. Can a turkey fly higher than an ostrich?

Yes, because ostriches don’t fly.


30. What would you call it if someone presents you with a tofu-turkey?

Pranks-giving Day.


31. When the Pilgrims walked off their boat into the New World, on what did they stand?

Their feet.


32. Where did the Pilgrims first land?

On their feet.


33. I am a key that can fly and gobble. What am I?

A tur-key.


34. How can you know the age of a pilgrim?

By asking them about pilgrim-age.


35. How can you tell which side of the turkey is the left side?

The part that is not eaten.


36. What comes at the end of Thanksgiving?

The letter ‘g.’


37. If you feel scared on Halloween and jolly on Christmas, what do you feel on Thanksgiving?



38. What face do pilgrims make when they are in pain?

Pil-grim face.


39. If you are carving the turkey with an electric cutter, what kind of batteries does it need when it runs out of power?

None—because it runs on electricity.


40. What did the obstetrician say when Thanksgiving was ready?

“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”


41. I can be crushed, baked, carved and you can see me everywhere on Thanksgiving. What am I?

A pumpkin


42. What can never, ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?

Thanksgiving breakfast.


43. How can a turkey end up with three legs, even though it only has two legs?

Because it had grown another foot.


44. What do jazz-lovers put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?



45. What can never be eaten at Thanksgiving dinner?

Thanksgiving breakfast or lunch!


46. What are turkeys thankful for on Thanksgiving?



47. I am the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook. What am I?

A pil-gram


48. Why can’t you take a turkey to church?

Because they use such fowl language.


49. What is brown, big, and red all over?

A turkey with cranberry sauce.


50. What does a Pilgrim call his best friend?

A palgrim.

51. What do the Pilgrims, Indians, and Puritans have in common?

The letter I


52. What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

The turkey.


53. What has feathers, is the star of a November feast and goes up and down?

A turkey in an elevator


54. What will a turkey, with a dramatic bent of mind, say to another turkey on Thanksgiving morning?

To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.


55. Can a turkey jump higher than a house?

Yes, because houses can’t jump!


56. Teacher: “Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?”

Student: “So we know when to start Christmas shopping!”


57. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

In the dictionary


58. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?

A poultrygeist!


59. If April showers bring May flowers, then what do Mayflowers bring?



60. What did the turkey say before it was roasted?

Boy! I’m stuffed!


61. If it took three people four hours to roast a turkey, how many hours would it take four people to roast the same turkey?

None! The turkey is already cooked.


62. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock


63. If four women can bake four pumpkin pies in four hours, how many pies can eight women bake in eight hours?

16 pies


64. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?

Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving


65. I have ears but I cannot hear, and I have flakes but no hair. What am I?



66. Father asked Abraham to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for, on Thanksgiving”.

Naughty Abraham wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”


67. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him!


68. Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?

He wanted a light snack!


69. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?


70. Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?

To keep his wig warm


71. If roses are red and violets are blue, what is stuffed, brown, and blue?

A turkey holding its breath.


72. What sound does a space turkey make?

Hubble, Hubble, Hubble.


73. What has feathers and a beak, but is dressed?

A Thanksgiving turkey.


74. Daddy asked Little Mandy: “Why can’t you take a turkey to church?”

Little Mandy: “Because they use such FOWL language that Jesus does not like.”


75. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

Wing, wing, wing.


76. What do the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.


77. They see me rollin’,

they hatin’.


78. Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected it of fowl play.79. Baking is my cardio.


79. Why did the chef refuse to crack an egg?

He didn’t want to whisk it.


80. It’s great that my mother-in-law volunteered to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the needy this year.

You’d have to be needy to want to eat her cooking.


81. You’re the belle of the 



82. Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.

They are consumed in 12 minutes. Football halftimes last 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.


83. Don’t marsh 

my mellow.


84. If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch,

you must first invent the universe.


85. Feast today, 

for tomorrow, we shop!


86. Just thought of a plan that would combine the best elements of pie with the best elements of TV.

My plan is to eat pie while watching TV.


87. Why did the cranberry turn red?

Because he saw the turkey dressing!


88. Most turkeys taste better the day after.

My mother’s tasted better the day before.


89. What do you call a running turkey?


90. Gearing up for shopping tomorrow.

Just knocked my grandma to the ground.


91. Don’t make Thanksgiving 

a cluster-pluck.


92. Celebrate Thanksgiving the American way:

spend money you don’t have on Chinese products.


93. We’ll worry about the Christmas tree later.

Today it’s all about the poul-tree.


94. The best policy for the ingredients in giblet gravy is 

“Don’t ask, don’t tell.”


95. Getting the longer part of the wishbone is?

a snap.


96. You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving 

when you have to let your bathrobe out.


97. Gobble ’

til you wobble.


98. Vegetables are a must on a diet.

I suggest pumpkin pie, zucchini bread, and carrot cake.


99. Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy, 

but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe.


100. I hope I don’t get mashed potatoes and gravy on my phone again this year.

but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe.

100. Why did the turkey cross the road?

To try to escape the Thanksgiving butcher.


101. I’m so stuffed that I feel like a bunch of people in matching outfits

should be parading me down Fifth Avenue.


102. Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

To prove it wasn’t chicken.


103. My wife asked me how to thaw a turkey.

I said I usually just tell your mom a few jokes. If that doesn’t work there’s always alcohol.


104. What’s a turkey without feathers called?

Thanksgiving dinner.


105. My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving

was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.


106. What glass do turkeys drink wine from?



107. Ever notice how you never get laid on Thanksgiving?

I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.


108. How does a limping turkey walk?

It wobble, wobbles.


109. Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year.

And then discover once a year is way too often.


110. What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving?



111. For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving,

please resist the urge to brag.


112. It’s already Thanksgiving again because time flies 

— even if turkeys don’t.


113. What type of dessert does a turkey have at the Turkey Day feast?

Peach Gobbler.


114. The only ones more stuffed than us on Thanksgiving

are the turkeys.


115. How do you tell the difference between turkeys and chickens?

Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.


116. Why wasn’t the turkey hungry on Thanksgiving?

It was already stuffed.


117. If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?

Scholar ships.


118. If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner,

don’t lose your head. The turkey already did that for you.


119. What does a vampire call Thanksgiving?



120. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a millipede?

Plenty of drumsticks for Thanksgiving dinner.


121. What do selfish people call Thanksgiving?



122. What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die?



123. Stuff your guests with some Thanksgiving puns while waiting for that delicious pumpkin pie.

Get ready to gobble up our puns!


124. Why did the turkey go to the plastic surgeon right before Thanksgiving?

To get a breast reduction.


125. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes,

but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.


126. What kind of key has legs but can’t open doors?

A turkey.


127. Let’s get



128. The key to a great Thanksgiving?

A turKEY


129. I just met you, and this is gravy,

but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe.


130. What dance should everyone do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot


131. Stop, drop,

and pass the rolls!


132. What do you call a turkey the Friday after Thanksgiving?



133. Let’s give ’em pumpkin’

to talk about.


134. What did the pilgrims use to bake their Thanksgiving desserts?



135. Why didn’t the Thanksgiving band get to perform?

Someone ate the drumsticks.


136. I was planning on taking home leftovers,

but all my plans were foiled.


137. Oh, my gourd,

I’m stuffed.


138. More rolls?

You butter believe it!


139. Thanksgiving dinner spread always smells



140. Will I eat leftovers for a week?

I cran, and I will.


141. There’s no more gravy left,

and I’m suspecting fowl play.


142. You think Thanksgiving dinner is done? 

You ain’t seen stuffing yet.


143. I like big bundts

and I cannot lie.


144. Thanksgiving has the

tur-key to my heart


145. Sorry,

I’m occu-pied.


146. No more Mr. Nice Pie!

Say hello to this gourd-geous spread!


147. You bake the world

a better place.


148. Hand me the gobble-lets

so I can pour the wine.


149. Can you turn on some Plymouth Rock in the background while we do dishes?

Piece out.

150. Let’s give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.

Piece out.


151. Hap-pie Thanksgiving!

Piece out.


152. I’m filling 

pretty full!


153. No fowl language is allowed

at dinner.


154. Pie am so grateful for,



155. The poul-tree comes before

the Christmas tree.


156. Feast your eyes on this meal!

Who’s ready to get sauced?


157. I have a crust on you!

Pie really love you.


158. Whip, whip—hooray!

You’re the apple of my pie.


159. Stuffing is the tur-key to my heart.

Oh my gourd, I’m stuffed.


160. Pour some gravy on me.

Nobody puts gravy in a corner.


161. If you give the turkey coffee,

it’ll be a perky!


162. I yam,

who I yam.


163. Will I eat leftovers for a week?

I cran, and I will.


164. I’m riding the gravy train to

being stuffed


165. Much ado about 



166. This turkey is thankful for,



167. Feast mode: 



168. Don’t let the holidays gobble up

your sanity.


169. I’m on a dinner roll.

If our turkey was in a band, he’d play the drumsticks.


170. Eat, drink,

and cranberry!


171. Talk turkey to me.

and cranberry!


172. Let’s squash

the family drama today.


173. I yam,

what I eat.


174. What does stuffing compare to?



175. Friendsgiving is  

plucking awesome.


176. Wine not have another glass?

plucking awesome.


177. Cheater, cheater,

pumpkin eater.


178. Quit marshing

my mallow.


179. Whip, whip, hooray!

It’s turkey day!


180. Roast assured I’ll be back to work on Monday.

It’s turkey day!


181. Let’s eat 

50 shades of gravy.


182. We’re feast and furious

in the kitchen.


183. I yam so grateful.

She ran afowl with the turkey.


184. Life doesn’t get any

butter than this.


185. Dinner is in 3 hours.

Pecan do it!


186. I’m bone to be wild.

Stuffing else matters besides your chosen family.


187. You want more dessert?  

You bread my mind.


188. A light Thanksgiving dinner is a?



189. Good pie for now.

Oh my gourd, I ate way too much.


190. What was the turkey arrested for?

Fowl play.


191. This tastes like,

food for the gourds.


192. What opens a locked door and has legs?

A turkey.


193. Turkey’s in the oven.

Now it’s just a wheat-ing game.


194. What role do green beans have during the Thanksgiving play?

The green bean casse-role.


195. Let’s ride

this gravy train.


196. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?

Cherry gobbler.


197. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Pie who?

Pie don’t you open that door and give me more food?


198. Why didn’t the cook season the turkey?

He ran out of thyme.


199. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Corn who?

Corn you believe it’s finally Thanksgiving?

200. What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.


201. Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Feather who?

Feather you like it or not, it’s time to eat some turkey!


202. “What did the leftover turkey say?”

“Make me a sandwich!”


203. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Happy who?

Happy Thanksgiving


204. “What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?”

“A har-vest.”


205. “Why didn’t the pilgrim want to make the bread?”

“It’s a crummy job.”


206. “What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving?”

“May the forks be with you.”


207. “What do you a call the age of a pilgrim?”



208. “Hey I just met you, and this is gravy,

“but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe.”


209. “Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?”

“Because they wear their buckles on their hats!”


210. Will you please stop with the Thanksgiving puns?

I couldn’t quit cold turkey!


211. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Norma Lee.” “Norma Lee who?” 

“Norma Lee I don’t drink eat this much!”


212. I’m never eating Thanksgiving leftovers again. Starting this very moment.

I’m quitting cold turkey!


213. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Tamara.” “Tamara who?” 

“Tamara we’ll eat all the leftovers!”


214. Turkeys mesmerize me.

I can’t help but fowl under their spell!


215. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Annie.” “Annie who?” 

“Annie body seen the turkey?”


216. What do we do after Thanksgiving dinner?

We all fowl asleep.


217. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Arthur.” “Arthur who?”

“Arthur any leftovers?”


218. Why didn’t the parents let the turkey near their children?

Because it used such fowl language.


219. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Don.” “Don who?”

“Don eat all the gravy, I want some more.”


220. Looking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, a woman thought they were all too small to feed everyone at her large Thanksgiving dinner party. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The employee replied, “No, ma’am, they’re all dead.”


221. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside!


222. Why does everyone pick the sweet potato as their favorite root vegetable?

Because it can’t be beet?


223. Turkeys aren’t the only birds with hilarious Thanksgiving puns.

Toucan play at that game!


224. How do competitors gear up for Thanksgiving dinner?

They activate Feast Mode.


225. How do you make a turkey float?

Root beer, a scoop of ice cream, and a turkey.


226. Why is everyone relieved when the candied yams finally arrive?

Because they’re such sweet potatoes.


227. How Do you fix a broken pumpkin pie?

With a pumpkin patch!


228. Why was it hard to find the Thanksgiving ham?

It was an obs-cured ham.


229. If your grandma saw you making boxed mashed potatoes,

she’d roll over in her gravy.


230. Bread-y or not,

here I crumb.


231. What’s Stephen King’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?

Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.


232. Why can’t the potatoes and yams get along?

Because they’re agi-taters.


233. What do you call it when you only have hot dogs for Thanksgiving dinner?



234. I want to eat healthier this year, so I’m enjoying more fruits and vegetables. 

I’ll have some apple pie, sweet potatoe pie, and carrot cake, please!


235. What’s the best whiskey for Thanksgiving?

Wild Turkey


236. With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what’s likely to be the most popular side dish?

Masked potatoes.


237. What does Miley Cyrus serve for Thanksgiving dinner?



238. What do you call someone who loves corn?

A corn-ivore!


239. What were the lyrics to that Carly Rae Jepson song about Thanksgiving?

“Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy. But here’s my stuffing, so carve me, maybe.”


240. What did Voltaire eat for Thanksgiving?

“Candide” yams.


241. How does that AC/DC song about Thanksgiving go?

“Turkey meals, done dirt cheap!”



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